The Price of War
by willa76
Summary: Lou feels like she has lost more than anyone after the war. Set about two to three years after Young Riders. Rated M. Sorry suck at summary's.
1. Chapter 1

**I do not own the Young Riders.**

**I know what you are thinking, does she really need to write another story when she is so slack in updating her other ones.**

**And you would be right.**

**This story is sort of a challenge. I have chosen to write it in third person, which I have never done, so I hope I do it justice. **

**I am also doing another abuse one, I don't know why I choose to write them, in fact I sat down to write a happy story, but this one came to me instead. So please a strong M rating is advised.**

**Also please remember that I am not a professional writer so any pointers will be gladly appreciated, just as long as they are constructive and not nasty. **

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><p>War was over, only just, but over still the same. Lou waited day in day out for her husband to arrive home.<p>

She had not received any telegram nor had any officers arrive telling her any different. So she waited, hoping to hear the sound of Kid's boots arrive on their front porch.

Louise kept a pair of Kid's old tatty work boots by the door, just in case she had any visitors, she didn't want to seem alone. Alone was something Lou did not want to seem nor feel.

But that was exactly what she felt when she lay in her bed scared out of her wits. She was alone, and she felt hopeless, and try as she might her fear grew more and more each night.

At night she slept with the lamp on and a rifle lay a top of her, her hand firmly griping it in case she needed to use it quickly.

Kid had moved them down South soon after their wedding, and although Lou did not want to leave her other family, she did so proudly and supportive of her husband.

However Lou originally thought that Kid had moved them because he wanted to support the South, she never thought that he would want to join in on the cause.

They were newly wed's, young and with their whole futures in front of them, why would he want to risk that for the sake of being another gun on the battle field.

But Lou bit her lip and stood by her husband, because she could see in his eyes that this is something he needed to do.

They were settled in their home for only a few weeks when Kid announced that he was joining the Confederates to fight.

He was gone for a year and a bit when she next saw him, he came home for a week. They did not leave the bedroom for that week and Lou felt like she finally had her man back.

But as the days went on, she started to notice his blank stares and his edgy behaviour, she knew that the man she had fallen in love with had long gone.

The war had changed him; Lou could imagine it changed them all. But it was Kid that was her worry, and worry she did.

.

.

The sound of approaching horses, and a lot of them had Lou running to the window. Was this it? Was Kid finally home?

But as she pulled the drapes back, she was both disappointed and confused at what she saw.

It was nearing dusk, but Lou could still make out the uniform of not the Confederates but the one of the Union.

"Why would they be here?" She asked herself out loud.

She quickly closed the drapes when she noticed that the men were dismounting their horses. Lou took a quick look around trying to think of what she could do, but her mind was a blank.

She could not think fast enough and stood frozen by the window, even the sounds of a man's boots on her porch didn't snap her out of her daze.

It wasn't until a loud knock at the door sounded out, that finally snapped Lou out of her daze and had her jumping in fright bringing her crashing back down to reality.

She quickly scanned the room, cursing herself that her guns were in the bedroom. Straightening her clothes out, she placed her shaky hand on the door and opened it to a tall dark man, wearing the blue uniform.

Lou looked to his shoulder straps, to see that he carried two gold stripes on either side of the straps. He was a Captain.

"Howdy Ma'am, we are setting up camp for the night on your property, we are hoping you will give us your permission to use your water and spare us some food." The Captain asked sounding sweet and polite, but he and Lou both knew he was anything but.

Lou also knew that he was only asking because he felt like he had to, she knew that there really wasn't a choice for her here. But she tried anyway.

"Town is not too far that way," Lou pointed west towards the township, "Surely you can make it that far," The army Captain looked down at the old boots that sat at the door. He smiled to himself, wondering where this woman got off suggesting anything.

"Maybe your husband is at home, and we could ask him." The Captain asked, already knowing that this young beautiful woman was home alone.

He drunk in her slender, yet curvy figure, he couldn't help but lick his lips in the thought of what he could do to her.

"Yes, but he is out hunting. I expect him home any time." Lou said, trying with all her might to sound convincing. She really didn't like the way he was looking at her, and her mind went back to that room where Wicks had taken her against her will.

The sound of a baby crying had the army Captain looking Louise in the eye.

"You have a child here?" He asked thinking that maybe she was telling the truth and her husband would be home soon.

"Yes my daughter. Please can you just go? I really want her as far away from this war as possible." Lou tried to reason, hoping that he had a conscience.

The Captain stepped inside, pushing Louise to the side, so he could take a better look around the small house. He was looking at all the signs that indicated that there was a husband, but he definitely wasn't here. And as something caught his eye in one of the rooms, it didn't matter to him if the husband was coming back at all.

A small yet very recognizable Confederate flag was staring the Union Captain in the face.

"You say your husband is out hunting?" he asked as he rounded Lou. Lou nodded, "Hunting the Union," he sneered," Causing Lou to jump out of her skin.

Louise looked into hers and Kid's bedroom, seeing that Kid's flag was visible to this suddenly angry Union Army Captain. Louise shuddered as she turned her back on the Captain and went to go stand by the door.

However an arm was around her neck in seconds and the Captain pulled her back and kicked her feet out from under her.

Louise fell to the floor with a hard thump. She tried instantly to scramble away, where? She did not know.

The Captain looked pleased with himself as he watched this defenceless creature try and scurry away. It urged him on seeing how frightened she was of him.

He undid his belt buckle, smiling as all the things he was going to do to Louise, entered his head.

Once the belt was free from his pants he cracked it down hard beside Lou, making her scream out in fright and cover her head. The Captain laughed before saying, "While my boys make camp out front, how 'bout you and I play house in here?" Lou cried as she thought of what was about to happen to her.

"You Southerners like your slaves, I'm thinking 'bout making you mine." He grabbed Lou by her wrists and bound them with his belt. She kicked and she screamed, as this man held her tight. But she was not strong enough and his brute force over won her feeble attempts.

Her hands bound in front of her, she knelt there in front of him. He smiled down at her liking the scene before him. He reached out and stroked her face then walked over to the sofa and sat back in it.

"Now crawl to me slave," he smiled as he palmed the front of his pants. Lou cried as she did as he asked.

He unzipped his pants and freed his hardened self out in the open. Louise shook in fear but the sounds of Lily crying in her room reminded Lou why she had to do as this monster asked of her.

She was already on her knees, so she got down to her elbows with her bound hands out in front of her and crawled along the floor. Tears cascaded down her young face, and while others would find this heart breaking the Captain found this even more enticing.

"Now suck on my dick slave," he laughed as he held himself out in front of Lou's face. She was about to do as he had ordered but before she could, the Captain pulled her hair back with his other hand. "Even think of biting me, and I will put a bullet in your child while you watch." He warned before shoving himself deep within her mouth.

Five hours of torture went on for Lou. She was treated no better than an animal. She was ordered, beaten, abused, and degraded in every which way she could think possible. But the thing that she couldn't get past was this was a man in uniform, a man that had taken an oath of some description to serve his country. She would no longer have faith in the army, nor her Government.

The Captain left satisfied with himself, and with a promise to return with some of his men if she dared to escape. He walked out of Lou's house, leaving Lou to attend to her now very distraught baby.

Louise tried pulling herself up from the ground. Every part of her body ached and just as the thought that she couldn't move entered her head, Lily let out another wail. She was Lou's only reason to get up off that floor.

Kid had already left when Lou found out she was with child. She thought many times to write him and tell him he was going to be a daddy, but Lou didn't want him being distracted while he was fighting, nor did she want to be the one whom pulled him away from a cause he felt so strongly about fighting against.

But maybe if she had, he would be here, and he would have stopped that animal coming in to their home and doing that to his wife, after all Kid had promised her that nothing like that would ever happen to her ever again.

Lou gave birth alone out in the barn. She had been down by the river when her waters broke, and only managed to get as far as the barn, before Lily made her way into the world.

If it hadn't been for Doc Brady, who had instructed Louise on what to do if that problem should ever arise, she would have been scared out of her mind.

Lou didn't venture into town very often. In fact she tried to avoid it altogether. She managed to become friendly with the family the next farm over and they would always gather Lou what she needed from town when they visited themselves. And although they thought she was very shy, they couldn't blame her from hiding away.

Before Lou went to console her distraught daughter, she grabbed her colt and her rifle from her own bedroom. She also grabbed her self some water and some left over biscuits from the kitchen.

Once in Lily's room she barricaded the door with the cot, pulling Lily from it once it was in place. She carried Lily to the far corner of the room, away from the window. She knew that if the men outside wanted in, they could get in, but she felt safer being armed.

Lily's cries were calming, as her mother held her close. Not needing to free her bosom, as she was still naked, Lou placed Lily at her breast, so Lily could feed.

As Lou sat there, with Lily feeding franticly she was getting angrier and angrier. And although she knew that Lily was not to blame for what had happened to her, her anger was directed towards her all the same.

Her breasts no longer felt like the nurturing things that her creator had made them to be. Instead they felt like a man's chew toy, used and dirty.

Lou sat and fought the urge to throw Lily from them. She was ashamed at the hate that was directed towards her small daughter, but a small part of her was stronger and realised that Lily needed them to survive.

By mid afternoon the following day, the army had moved out and a relieved Lou placed a sleeping baby girl in her cot. Louise checked out the window just to be sure they were all gone before she pushed the cot out of the way, and opened the door.

The house had been ransacked, and by the looks of things, all of her food had been taken. Lou limped her way out of the door, her body still naked and a colt hanging from her hand.

She needed the outhouse desperately so made her way to the bedroom for a robe to cover her body with.

Once she was bathed and dressed she let out a breath and set to work on tidying her house up. She couldn't have Kid come home to a mess.

After the house was done she set to work on the many chores that lay around the property. The horses needed to be fed and their stalls mucked out. She needed to feed the two cattle beasts, as well as the chickens and collect their eggs.

After that she got to washing all the linen, before she sat down to rest her sore legs and back. Lily awoke after a huge sleep and Lou once again sat there biting her lip as Lily feed from her.

Louise was surprised as tears streamed down her face, while her child she loved dearly rested in her arms.

She knew that things could have been worse last night, she knew that she was lucky to still be breathing, as well as Lily, and it was that, that she needed to remember.

This was life for Lou for the next eight months.

Rachel had written to her asking if all was alright, and telling her what the boys were all up to.

Louise was relieved that Jimmy and Cody were both safely back from serving as scouts in the army.

She was proud of Buck staying and becoming Teaspoons deputy. She was disappointed to hear about Jesse and his new found fame. She could only imagine that Frank was by his side leading him on.

Lou wrote back that she was just great. She said she was happy and looking forward to Kid coming home. She did not write saying that she was afraid he wasn't home by now, as he should be, and she did not write and tell her that she had a fifteen month old daughter that was also waiting for him to come home. She wanted that news to be Kids, and Kids alone.


	2. Chapter 2

**I do not own the Young Riders.**

**Sorry it took so long. My computer shat it's self, and to piss me off further I have to take it back tomorrow. Things are still not right, and I'm not happy. I wanted to post this chapter before I took it in, and my sister is allowing me to borrow her computer until it is fixed, so I should, with any luck be able to keep posting.**

**I hope it reads well as I only skimmed over it.**

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><p>Meanwhile, while Lou was awaiting the safe arrival of Kid, Teaspoon was in his office back in Rock Creek, pleased that his boys were home and safe.<p>

Well most of them anyway.

His mind went straight to Kid and Louise.

He knew Kid thought he was doing the right thing by going back to the South, hell the thought had even crossed Teaspoon's mind on more than one occasion. But Teaspoon was heading back so he could be a bystander, a supporter of his heritage. He did not agree with what the Confederates rebelled against.

Men, no matter what colour their skin maybe, all deserved the right to be free. And they deserved to be in charge of that decision themselves.

Kid had changed his way of thinking, and I think knowing Noah helped him to change the way he saw things.

"What has you deep in thought?" Cody asked as he, Jimmy and Buck walked into Teaspoon's office.

A genuine smile graced Teaspoons face as he looked at the boys he once knew, and the men he knows now.

"Thinking 'bout the Kid and Lou," Teaspoon watched as a small stab of pain shot through the boys eyes. He knew that they missed Kid and Lou just as much as he did.

Times were stressful when Kid and Lou departed, they did not get the send off they deserved, and things were said in the heat of the moment between the boys. It was hard to watch them leave, and while Teaspoon knew Lou did not want to leave she did so for Kid.

"Mr Spoon, Mr Spoon." Adam Matthew's the young boy who worked for the postal service called out as he ran into the office.

"Slow down son," Teaspoon warned him as he could see that the young boy's legs were moving faster than the rest of him.

"Now what has you in such a hurry?"

"A letter Sir," Adam announced holding out a small yet thick envelope towards me.

Teaspoon read the words, Urgent, scribbled across the top of it, and as he turned it over he was surprised to see that it was sent by Kid.

"Well I'll be," he laughed thinking how ironic it was that he was just thinking of him.

"It's from Kid," Teaspoon told the boys.

Teaspoon opened the small envelope and pulled out a couple of letters, one addressed for himself and one addressed to Lou. That was strange, and suddenly his heart knew that nothing good was in the letter he held in his hands.

Thinking it would easier to just read the thing out loud so he didn't have to go over it again when he had finished.

"_Teaspoon if you are reading this then I have not survived the war."_ Teaspoon started, but paused to look up at the boys as he got the first sentence out. Jimmy stood full height as soon as Kid's words registered in his ears. Shaking his head no in disbelief and crossing his arms over his chest, he looked to Buck and Cody, seeing they were in the same distressed state.

"_I asked that this letter be posted to you if I was found dead. I also left instructions that Lou was not to be informed as I want you to break that news to her."_

Teaspoon looked up to the boys once again, not believing what he was reading. All three of them had taken a step closer to him, all with the same look of bewilderment on their faces.

"_She is living in a small bungalow, nestled in a small clearing south of Chickamauga, and although it is not where I had hoped we would be, it has been our home for such a short time but it is still a home. I know that it will be hard for her to leave there, as I think she likes it, but I am asking you to please take her back to Rock Creek where you can watch over her._

_As you will know she would hate that I have asked this from you, as she feels she can take care of herself, but I hate the thought of having her out there alone. So please don't tell her I have asked you to do so. I regret ever taking her away from you and Rachel to begin with. I was a fool to believe that I could make a difference._

_There is a letter in here for Lou as well. Please see she gets it and please kiss her for me when you see her._

_Thank you for being there for me throughout the years, you are a good man and I am honoured to have known you. I know you will keep a watchful eye on Lou, and keep her from harm._

_Love your son, _

_Kid._

The boys sat in silence going through in their minds what they had just heard and read. Buck was in shock that yet another one of his brothers had gone. Was it just him or were the small group thinning out rather quickly.

"Teaspoon the war has been over for months." Cody stressed,

"Meaning?"

"Meaning Lou has been waiting for Kid to return all this time."

"Then what are you waiting for, mount up," Teaspoon all but ordered, not that the boys needed telling.

Knowing that Lou was out there alone was enough to have them running to their horses. Teaspoon headed for the school. He knew that Rachel would be over the moon to hear that Louise was coming home. In fact Rachel had been planning a trip herself to go and visit Louise in the next few weeks, so hopefully all works out.

"Ride safe Teaspoon, and please drag her back if she puts up a fight," Rachel smiled as she placed a tender kiss on Teaspoon's cheek.

Over the years the two have become close, and although not close like a husband and wife would, the attraction is there. Yes Teaspoon was ahead of Rachel in years, but Rachel only saw the kind hearted man he is, and not the years that weathered him.

It took three days of hard riding to find the small clearing to where sat a bungalow nestled in the heart of it.

A small yet familiar figure was leading two horses out to a small corral. As the boys surveyed the small farm and yard they couldn't help but notice how maintained it all seemed.

While most women could handle a small property on their own, he could see Lou had exceeded herself. Lou had done a fantastic job, and could tell a lot of work had gone into doing so, so Teaspoon knew that he would have a hard time dragging her away like Kid had said in his letter.

"What do you think boys?" Teaspoon needed no words, with a slight flick of their reins they rode down to see their friend, hating that they were coming with bad news.

Lou led the two mares into the corral so she could get to work on fixing their stalls.

Lily was set up in a play pen that Lou had made, inside the barn. Since Lily started walking Lou had found it hard to keep her in one spot and to keep an eye on her. So Lou made the pen big enough so Lily could walk around in it with her toys and not disappear out of her mother's sight.

"Go on, get," she told the mares as she took their leads off of them both.

As Lou turned to go back into the barn she could hear the sound of horse hooves approaching. She stopped dead in her tracks feeling very exposed and not in a great situation at all.

Lily was in the barn, she had no weapon on her, and the fact it was day light meant that her visitor's would have seen her.

The closer the boys got, the more anxious they became. It has been years since they saw Lou.

Jimmy's eyebrows furrowed and his eyes narrowed as he watched Lou stand stock still, almost like she was afraid to turn around. He knew that she must have heard them approaching, so why wasn't she checking to see who it was?

"Hello Lou," Teaspoon called out as he pulled to a halt.

Lou spun around so fast, as the sound of Teaspoon's voice registered in her ears, dropping the ropes she held in her hand.

The boys watched as her shoulders slumped and her lip quivered as tears started falling from her eyes.

She seemed to stumble towards them, Teaspoon seeing this, quickly dismounted his horse to meet her.

"Oh Teaspoon," she cried as she fell into his arms, "Is it really you?" she sobbed harder.

"Shhh sweetheart, it's alright, we're here now." he told her as he held onto her stroking her hair with his hand.

She cried and she cried and the boys just let her, as they dismounted their horses and took another look around.

It was a nice wee farm Kid and Lou had bought, and although tidy and work had been done, there was still a lot of work needed.

"Mama," A small voice called out from the barn causing the boys to look up at the barn.

"Oh god Lily," Lou cried as she pushed away from Teaspoon and ran towards the barn.

"Mama?" Cody questioned out loud to Jimmy, Buck and Teaspoon.

Lou came out from the barn carrying a small girl in her arms. She was wearing a white dress and from what the boys could tell she had brown curls, but her face was hidden in Lou's hair.

"You're a mother," Teaspoon announced amazed by the scene in front of him.

"I am," Lou smiled. "This is Lily. Lily would you like to say hello to Mama's family?" Lou asked Lily sweetly.

Lily turned her wee face just so slightly so she could take a look at the visitors. She never really saw other people so it was no wonder why she was so shy.

"How about I make some lemonade, you boys must be thirsty," Lou started towards the house.

The boys all followed close behind, still in shock by what they had learnt.

Lily took the opportunity to peek over her mother's shoulder, using Lou's hair as a shield she peeked through it at the men that were following them up to the house.

She caught Cody's eye, to which he smiled and made a silly face at her, Lily couldn't contain the small giggle that came from her.

Lou smiled to herself knowing that Lily was going to love these boys just as much as she did.

The boys all took a seat on the porch while Lou and Lily fetched the lemonade.

They were all wondering why Kid had not mentioned a child in his letter, did he even know?

Once Lou passed everyone their drinks she sat on the step with Lily on her lap sucking on a cookie.

"He's not coming back is he Teaspoon?" Lou asked as she played with one of Lily's soft curls, twirling it around her delicate finger.

"No Lou he's not." Teaspoon replied amazed by the women in front of him.

Lou only nodded, she knew in her heart that he wasn't coming home, but she hoped that for Lily's sake that it wasn't true.

"Do you know when, where, how?" She asked, wondering why she was not shedding a tear for her lost husband.

"Sorry sweetheart I don't. All I know is that he had left a letter for me and one for you in case something happened. He wanted me to tell you instead of some stranger."

Again Lou only nodded. That sounded like Kid.

Lou looked out towards the farm, wondering what on earth she was going to do now. There was no way in hell she could live here by herself with Lily, not that she needed a man, she had proven to herself that she could run a place on her own, but she did need the company. Company of those she trusted and loved. But most of all she needed security for her and Lily.

"You will take me with you, won't you?" Lou seemed to blurt out from nowhere.

Teaspoon gave the boys a quick glance, seeing that they were staring at Lou in concern. She didn't seem like the spirited young women they knew before. The years have changed her, and in this moment they didn't know if it was for the better.

"That is what we had hoped for Lou. You don't mind leaving here?" Teaspoon asked wanting to make sure Lou was positive about this.

Lou looked around the yard once again and then back at the house.

"I hate this place. I hate it so much Teaspoon." She told him sounding detached, confirming to the boys and Teaspoon that she was not at all like the Lou they knew years ago.

"Then we would love to take you back with us." Teaspoon told her not really knowing what more to say.

"You hear that baby girl we are moving," She smiled at Lily, while Lily sat there smudging her half mushy biscuit between her fingers.

"Lou, Kid never mentioned Lily in his letter" Teaspoon begun carefully.

"He didn't know Teaspoon. I didn't find out I was pregnant until months after he left."

"She's beautiful Lou," Jimmy told her honestly. Lou smiled brightly as she looked up at Jimmy.

"She is isn't she?" Then she looked down at Lily, "Though she's not very lady like when it comes to eating," Lou laughed as she tried to wipe the cookie mess from her daughters face.

"I think she eats just fine," Cody said,

Buck laughed, "You would,"


	3. Chapter 3

**I do not own the Young Riders.**

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><p>The ride back to Rock Creek was a long hot one. The air was hot and dry, and the journey long and tedious, Lily was grumpy and fed up, and so was her mother.<p>

Lou rode on the buckboard, with all of her things on the back, well the things that could fit anyway.

The boys all rode a head, except Teaspoon who travelled by Lou's side the whole way.

Teaspoon could see some changes in Lou that he didn't like. She seemed to zone out a lot, and be wary about almost everything and anyone.

Where had his confident female rider gone?

Lou didn't want to wait until she had sold her property, she was leaving with the boys and Teaspoon now, she would not spend another night at the house she had marked, the little house of horrors.

She wanted to put as much distance between her and that house, and hopefully the memories that went with it, as she could.

Jimmy knew that there was something Lou wasn't telling them, and it was bugging him to no end that she didn't seem like talking about it.

He would be lying if he said that he wasn't happy Lou was coming home, hell he was ecstatic, but he like Teaspoon knew that it wasn't the same Lou that left them years ago.

He, Cody and Buck arrived back about half a day before Lou and Teaspoon, telling Rachel that Lou and he weren't far behind. The boys had decided that they wouldn't tell Rachel about Lily, they wanted her to be surprised just as they had been.

Five long hours later Teaspoon could see the sights of Rock Creek. Lou pulled the wagon to a halt and sat back to take in the sight. Letting herself get caught up in the memories, she sat and cried, while Teaspoon looked on.

She was home, and she was safe.

Her shoulders began to shake as sobs raked through her.

"Lou honey, what's wrong?" Teaspoon worried, seeing that the girl was falling apart.

"I wish I had never left here," she told him, "A part of me hates him, for making me." She admitted aloud.

Teaspoon was shocked for a second, but he knew deep down she couldn't really mean that. He knew that she loved Kid, and she would have followed him anywhere.

Teaspoon didn't know what to say to that, in fact he was sure that he was speechless for the first time in his life.

So he sat and he waited. He let Lou cry her wee heart out, while his broke some. He didn't like seeing her like this, and all he wanted to do was take her to the station.

After a minute or two, Lou wiped her eyes, muttered a small apology to Teaspoon, and set the wagon in motion once again.

"Riders coming," Rachel hollered as she raced down the steps of the main house and into the yard. Lou pulled the wagon to a halt and jumped off of the buckboard.

"Rachel," Lou cried as she ran into her friends awaiting arms.

"Oh Lou honey, I've missed you so much," Rachel cried back as she hugged Lou for dear life. Rachel pulled back and took Lou's face into her hands, "I'm so sorry about Kid, Lou."

"Me too," Lou said sadly, and she was. "But I have something, well someone to remind me of him," Lou smiled as she turned to look at the wagon where Teaspoon was lifting Lily up and out of the back.

"Oh Lou," Rachel cried out for the second time today, she reached down and grabbed Lou's hand to pull her over to where Lily and Teaspoon were walking over.

"What's your name pretty girl?" Rachel smiled as she reached up to play with one of Lily's curls.

"This is Lily," Teaspoon answered proudly, while looking to Lou in complete admiration. "The new apple of our eye," giving Lou a wink he handed Lily over to her.

"Well let's get you girls settled into the house," Rachel insisted.

"Can Lily and I stay in the bunkhouse?" Lou asked Rachel. She didn't want to hurt her friend but Lou would feel more comfortable there than in the house. "Believe it or not I've missed the place, and the boys snoring." Lou smiled trying to make light of it, but she really wanted to sleep with the boys, it made her feel safer.

"Sure Lou, we'll get the boys to give you a hand."

By the time they were finished there were four beds, one in every corner, and Lily's cot tucked up close to Lou's bed.

Teaspoon thought maybe they might have to put an extension on.

The small family spent the next few days trying to gel again. It had been years since they were all together and it took a while for them to know each other again.

The nights were spent filling each other in on stories, and in the boys case mischief they had gotten up to in the last couple of years.

Lou sat and cringed every time Cody or Jimmy bought up the army. She loathed army stories, but tried to grin and bear it when the two men spoke so proudly and fondly of their time there and the people they had met.

Of course Lou wasn't as discreet as she wished she was, Teaspoon and the boys would notice how quiet she would go, and how her back would stiffen. Of course they didn't know the reason why Lou would react that way, they just pegged it down to Kid.

They also noticed Lou didn't have much to share, and Rachel joked one night about Lou living like a hermit, of course when Rachel looked to Lou her smile faded.

Was she right in thinking that her dear friend had kept to herself in all these years? 'That can't be healthy', she thought to herself. She tried to think of something to ask Lou about her time.

"Lou you haven't told me about how Lily came into this world," Rachel begun, but the boys all cringed and a crude comment about already knowing how babies were made, had Rachel asking her question differently.

"Oh god no, I mean the birth." She laughed,

"Ah not much to tell. I think it went all pretty well, just like any other I mean." Rachel frowned at the lack of information. Lou seeing that her friend was disappointed and wanted more sighed and sat back to tell her.

"I was down by the river; my back had been killing me all through the night, so I wanted to walk it off." Lou smiled as she thought about how clueless she was. "I threw a stone into the river, trying to make it across to the other side, when my waters broke. At first I panicked," she laughed, "But then reality hit when I realised I was miles from home and I was alone."

Rachel got comfortable as she listened. "I started making my way home, but only got as far as the barn, when I couldn't go any further. I managed to crawl my way inside, leaning up against the hay bales. Lily was born bout five minutes after that." Lou finished thinking she didn't need to go into any gory details, especially with the boys here.

"You gave birth to Lily by yourself?" Rachel asked in a saddened amazement.

"I did," Lou said looking to her friend, "I mean it was alright everything went alright." Lou began to stress thinking she had done something wrong.

Rachel looked from Lou to Teaspoon and then the boys. She could see the same sad look in their eyes as what she was sure was reflected in her own.

"Why didn't you write me Lou? I would have come to you and helped you through that last month or so," Rachel told her feeling somewhat hurt that Lou wouldn't call upon her.

"Rachel I wanted to be the one to tell Kid about our child. I wanted him to be with me, to help me, to deliver our baby, I'm sorry if that hurts you but I didn't want anyone else, I wanted him." Lou told Rachel hating that she had upset her friend.

Teaspoon and the boys remained silent. Teaspoon could see how upset his dear Rachel was, and he could see why she would be hurt, hell he was a little hurt himself. The thought of Lou out there by herself, and giving birth by herself scared him.

Sure there are plenty of women out there in the same way, but they were not his Louise.

Cody and Buck were just amazed by Lou. First in the way the small farm looked when they had arrived, then the fact she was a mother, she was a strong women.

Jimmy on the other hand was angry. His anger was not for Lou, but for Kid. Did he have any idea what he was leaving behind? He knew that Lou didn't want him going off to fight but he went any way, and that pissed Jimmy off.

"Lou I won't say I'm not hurt, because I am. Giving birth can be dangerous, and when I think of you alone and doing that by yourself it truly upsets me. Now in saying that, Lily is the most beautiful wee thing I have ever seen. You should be proud of yourself." Rachel ended with a smile, hoping that there were no bad feelings between her and Lou.

"She is isn't she?" Lou smiled.

Days rolled into weeks and weeks rolled into months. The small family seemed to have picked up where they left off in no time. Lou hadn't ventured to far past the old station; she wasn't ready for the thousands of questions she was sure she was going to get.

Of course the fact that she hadn't been around others in some time had a lot to do with it as well. The last time she met a stranger it turned out bad for her, she didn't have any trust in those she did not know.

The boys finished up in the barn before cleaning themselves up and heading to the bunkhouse for hopefully a hot meal.

This was soon becoming the boys favourite time of the day. Lily had brought them all such happiness in just the short time she had been here. They were all smitten, and had them all thinking of their own futures and how much they would like to add to their small family.

They walked into the bunkhouse to see that Rachel, Teaspoon and Lily were already seated at the table while it looked like Lou was putting some finishing touches on the meal.

"Lou?" Jimmy asked cocking his head to the side.

"Jimmy," Lou smiled while she placed the meal she had made on the table.

"When did you learn to cook?" He asked, hoping like hell she had, had some lessons.

"I've had a couple of years to practice Jimmy,"

Cody looked to the food, then to Lily, with a shrug of his shoulders he dug in. It couldn't be all that bad if Lou and Lily were still breathing.

"Not bad Lou." Cody said as he dug his fork in for some more potato, "You know Lily, your Mama's cooking use to be so bad," he placed the potato in his mouth, closing his eyes in ecstasy as he tasted how smooth Lou had whipped them, "Mmmm, but she has got it right now." He smiled looking to the small girl across from him.

After supper the boys were readying themselves for a night out at the saloon. Cody had his eye on a very pretty lady he had been seeing around the town. He didn't know too much about her, but he did over hear her talking to her friend earlier today, saying that she was going to the saloon tonight.

Jimmy had just had a shower and headed into the bunkhouse to prepare for his night. He walked in on Teaspoon and Lou talking.

"Mama," Lily said as she pointed to her doll that lay in her cot. Jimmy watched as Lou adjusted Lily on her hip, while she still chatted to Teaspoon, and walked over to grab the wee girls' doll.

Lou was a natural, it all seem to come so easily for her. What a fool Kid was, Jimmy thought. Kid had a good thing going on, and he allowed his stupid beliefs to ruin it.

"What do you think Hickok?" Teaspoon asked.

Jimmy looked up to the old man not knowing what he was on about.

"The house Jimmy."

"Um-err-uh..." Jimmy stuttered looking from Teaspoon and Lou hoping one of them would help him out with some sort of clue to what they were talking about, that involved the house.

"Do you think that we should add on here, or venture out and buy a bigger place, with some land?" Teaspoon asked annoyed while Lou looked amused.

"Ok, well what do you both want to do?" he asked hoping for some more information before he gives his decision.

"No you don't get off that easy, have a think about it and pick one." Lou told him not giving anything away.

Jimmy thought about it for a minute. The station was good because it was close to town, but now with Lily here wouldn't it be safer to have her somewhere a little less busy?

And what were he and the boys going to do with their time? Starting a ranch was always something that they all talked about.

"I think get a bigger place." He smiled feeling happy he made a good decision.

"Exactly," Teaspoon said raising his hands up to the sky before turning back to Lou with a pleased look on his face.

"I just don't want you changing your lives because Lily and I are here." Lou told him.

"Why not? You are both family, besides a miracle may happen and one of the boys may meet someone as well, we will need a bigger place."

Lou smiled at Jimmy she hoped all the boys found a nice woman, ones that would treat them right.

"Teaspoon if that is what you want, I am happy to do that. But I will insist that we try and sell my place and whatever money I get from it will contribute to the property."

"Alright honey it's a done deal." said Teaspoon excitedly. He was over the moon that she had agreed, and he already knew how the others felt.

Feeling happy with himself he headed over to the main house to start making floor plans for his house.

Rachel passed him on his way over, but laughed when he heard him whispering about extra bedrooms, and a porch swing.

She walked in to see Lou was readying Lily for Bed, while Jimmy was heading out the door with his boots and polish in his hands.

"You boys heading out?" Rachel asked,

"Yeah, just waitin' on Buck and Cody." Jimmy told her.

"You should take Lou with you." Rachel suggested thinking it would be good for Lou to get out and about.

She was convinced that Lou's moods were her just mourning Kid. Lou needed to not forget Kid but to see that there is life after him as well. Rachel knew that the Kid would have wanted Lou to live and to love again.

"If she wants to go, I would love for her to join us." Jimmy said, but not believing that Lou would agree to come out for a drink.

"I'll ask her," was all Rachel said as she headed into the bunkhouse.

She walked further through the door to see Lou was helping Lily into her singlet and nightgown. Rachel placed the pile of clothing she had in her arm down onto the table.

"Lou you should go out with the boys, meet some new people." Rachel said as she came and sat on the bed next to Lily. Lou looked to Rachel wondering where the hell that had come from.

"Don't you look at me like that Lou. You have hardly ventured out since you got here, you need to meet some new people, make a life for yourself here." Lou knew that what Rachel was saying was true, and in fact she had been thinking the same thing.

Lily hadn't been around to many people, and Lou knew that wasn't right. Lily loved Rachel, Teaspoon and the boys and that shouldn't stop there. Lily needs to also be around children her own age as well.

"Lou why don't you go for a drink with the boys, I'll watch Lily." Rachel told her friend. Lou thought about it, and why the idea of leaving her daughter was one she had never considered, a night off sounded wonderful.

"Thanks Rachel, it would be good to get out for a bit." Rachel was impressed with Lou; she really thought she may have had a fight on her hands.

After finishing getting Lily prepare for bed, Lou passed her baby girl over to her friend with a promise to come over and say goodbye once she is dressed.

Lou quickly changed out of her yard clothes and decided that she would wear a dress tonight.

"Come on Lou," Cody yelled impatiently, he was itching to see the young women he had seen earlier.

"I'm coming, hold your horses," Lou shouted back as she fixed the last bobby pin in her hair. She walked out of the bunkhouse, smiling when she saw the boys straighten themselves as soon as they noticed her.

"I'll just go kiss Lily goodnight," She told them as she gathered her dress up in front of her to run across the yard.

With a gentle kiss and a strong I love you, Lou rejoined the boys. She knew that Lily was safe with Rachel and Teaspoon, so her mind was at ease walking away for an hour or two.

The four friends walked to the saloon. Memories of the past flooding each of their minds. Lou swallowed back the emotion of the ones who were lost, and for her Kid, how she was a fool to not tell him about Lily. She wished she could turn back time, and put up a fight when he had told her that he wanted to fight in the stupid war.

Walking into the saloon the friends soon earned looks from the many ladies looking for a man, and much to Jimmy's disgust, possible suitors for Lou. Lou is a beautiful woman, and her body has definitely gone through some changes since having Lily, and the fact that other men had noticed, as well as him, pissed him off.

"What can I get you Lou?" Jimmy asked holding out a chair next to what looks like an intense card game, as his eyes narrowed at every man that were watching them.

"Wine," she smiled remembering their night in Willow Springs. Jimmy smiled back before walking up to the bar to order.

"Where is she?" Cody asked bouncing his knee impatiently.

"Where's who Cody?" Buck asked back, flicking Lou a wink and a crooked smile.

"Yeah Cody, who is she?" Lou taunted.

"Just a girl. No scratch that, a woman, who I have my eye on." Cody beamed.

"Lou," Jimmy said coming back to the table with her glass of wine, and a drink for the boys.

"Thanks Jimmy,"

"Ah there she is," Cody sighed as he relaxed in his chair. Lou followed Cody's gaze to see an absolutely stunning blonde with big ringlets and a beautiful dress.

"She's beautiful Cody," Lou whispered to Cody, holding his arm.

"She aint' the only one," Jimmy whispered back as he leaned into Lou's ear.

"That was so corny Jimmy," she laughed, as did Buck and Cody.

"You know Lou it's good to see you smile." Buck told her, to which Jimmy and Cody agreed.

"I suppose I hadn't had too much to smile about in the last few years." Lou said sadly, "Well except Lily."

"You are an amazing mother," Jimmy stated.

"Thank you, that means a lot."

"Who is that she is talking to?" Cody wondered out loud, changing the subject. The others turned their heads in the same direction as Cody.

"Matthew. The blacksmiths son" Buck smirked loving that his friend had competition. Cody just expected the girls to fall all over him; he could never imagine wooing a girl.

"I don't know what your smirking at Buck Cross, at least he's trying to find a girl." Lou taunted. She hoped that all the boys found someone special.

"I know that the right ones out there Lou, when it's meant to be it will happen." Lou smiled at her friend Buck. She loved his care free attitude, and wished she was more like him.

The four friends sat and talked, catching up on more of their time apart. All four of them loved that their friendship had soon picked up right where it left off.

"So what did you get up to all by yourself out there Lou?" Jimmy asked, changing the subject off of him. "I mean in two to three years you must have made some friends or..."

"No. I kept to myself mostly." Lou said cutting him off.

"Well you are a strong woman to stay out there by yourself and run that farm." Buck stated as he took another sip of his drink.

"I'm not that strong." Stupid maybe, but not strong, she thought to herself.

"I don't know, most women I know would have been scared." Buck added, with Jimmy nodding in agreement.

"They'd be right to." Lou said softly, making the boys frown at her. Lou lifted her glass and took a sip of her wine. "I use to keep a pair of Kid's boots by the door, so if any visitor came it would look like a man lived there." She laughed without humour. "Fat lot a good it did me." She told them before taking a large sip of her wine.

Buck, Jimmy and Cody all looked to one another. Something had happened. They had thought so since seeing her again.

"Something happen Lou?" Cody asked.

Lou looked to Cody, then to Buck and Jimmy. She loved these boys, they were her family, but could she trust them enough to tell them what happened? I mean it took her forever to tell Kid about Wicks', and when she did, it was the hardest conversation she has ever had.

But it did feel good to share the load.

Keeping something like that locked away in your heart, and your head, can plague you, and what that army Captain did is eating her alive. He degraded her, humiliated her, and made her hate nurturing her own daughter. Just thinking about that night had her insides aching.

So with a sigh she grabbed her drink in her hand and sat forward in her chair. She wanted to get this out as quietly and as quickly as she could, and she hoped that her friends would still be able to look at her after she had finished.

"One night a small Calvary called past my place. One of them came and told me that they would be camping out on my land and that they needed fresh water. I suggested that they head towards town." Lou's robotic voice was scaring the boys.

"I told him Kid was coming back soon, I guess he didn't believe me, which he had every right not to, as I was lying through my teeth, but he pushed his way into my home all the same. I could see he was searching for clues for a husband." The noise in the saloon was drowned out as the boys listened dreading what was coming.

"He saw Kid's confederate flag in my room. He asked if Kid was out hunting Union. Lily was crying and I asked him again to please leave, for Lily's sake. I opened the door for him but he ...he..." Lou couldn't say it. She was on the verge of losing whatever resolve she had. She shouldn't be telling them like this, not in the saloon.

"He what Lou?" Jimmy asked carefully. Lou shook her head no, silently telling Jimmy she couldn't say the words. "He touch Lily?" Jimmy asked. Lou's eyes grew big as saucers as she shook her head no. "He touch you?" the first tear slipped from Lou's eye.

Confirmation enough for Buck, but Jimmy waited for Lou's word. She looked down at the table and nodded her head. And while she was hurting it felt good to let some of her hurt go.

She knew that it was probably unfair to tell the boys her burden, but she hoped that if they knew then they would prevent it from ever happening again.

"How bad?" asked Jimmy wanting to know if she had just been pushed around a bit, or taken. Of course in his gut he knew he didn't have to ask.

"The worst." Lou said quietly, trying to swallow the bile that sat in her throat as memories tried to flood her mind.

The table of friends went quiet. Jimmy's hand went from his whiskey, to his colt, back to his whiskey. He wanted to hurt something or someone.

"They were Union?" Cody asked not believing he was fighting amongst men who would do that.

"Yes,"

"And he raped you?" Cody confirmed through gritted teeth. Jimmy was sitting there feeling sicker by the minute.

"Yes," Lou sobbed, hoping that her boys wouldn't look at her any differently.

"Do you know his name?" Buck asked softly.

Shaking her head she said 'no'.

"How long ago?"

"Lily was only a baby," Lou shook her head not really knowing how long ago it was, as in her mind it still felt like yesterday.

Jimmy looked to the boys, not knowing what to say about this. He wanted to know every sorted detail. Every touch the sick bastard made every word he spoke. He wanted to dissect it for any clue to who would do this, then he wanted to store it away for the day that he came face to face with the coward who would do that to a women.

"Anything else?" Jimmy asked, "I mean did he just leave, he hasn't bothered you since?"

"No." Lou's mind went back to that night, "After...he left, I barricaded myself in Lily's room. When I let myself out in the morning, the house had been ransacked, and all my food had been eaten." Lou shook her head as if to clear it, "I couldn't believe a respected man in uniform could do the things he did, and say the things he said."

They sat still and quiet once again, all thinking about the same thing, but all thinking about it in different ways.

"I'm so sorry I told you..." Lou begun, but was soon cut off.

"Excuse me, Cody is it?" Interrupted the girl Cody had been eyeing earlier. Cody was still staring at Lou, and hadn't even seen or heard the girl approach.

"Ah yes, yes it is."

"I'm Tiffany," she smiled with confidence, making Lou jealous in an instant. "Would you like to talk, have a drink?"

Cody was still looking at Lou, making Tiffany think that she picked up on the wrong vibe earlier.

Lou nodded her head at Cody, trying to tell him silently to go, but he wasn't getting it. So finding her voice and her strength she looked up at Tiffany.

"He would love to buy you a drink, isn't that right Cody?" Lou then smiled back down at Cody, 'Please' she whispered. She didn't want to be the reason he stayed and missed out on getting to know her better.

"Yeah that's right," Cody got up and out of his chair, but before leaving with Tiffany he leant over and kissed Lou lovingly on the cheek, making a silent promise to her and him that she wouldn't ever have to go through that again.

But what Cody didn't know, and Buck and Jimmy did, was Lou had already been through something like that before.

Jimmy would never forget the day Kid came to him, Buck and Teaspoon. Lou had shared with him what a man called Wicks had done to her. He was devastated and needed his brothers' shoulders to cry on. He couldn't cry in front of Lou, or more her wouldn't cry in front of Lou.

"Lou I..."

"No Jimmy, please I shouldn't have told you, not like this, not here." Lou said as she took a sip of her wine.

"That's where you're wrong Lou. I want you to be able to tell me anything, and if not me someone else at this table or back at the house." Jimmy thought about it all for a few minutes, "Is that why you wanted to sleep in the bunkhouse? You feel safer with us around."

"Yes, and that is why I wanted you to know too. I know I have no right in asking you this, but please don't let that happen again, please can you not let another man..."

"Never." Both Buck and Jimmy replied.


	4. Chapter 4

**I do not own the Young Riders.**

* * *

><p>"Orses'" Lily's sweet voice demanded.<p>

"You want to see the horse's baby girl?" Cody asked Lily, to which she shook her head no.

"Meme orses'" Lily rectified, turning Cody's smile into a pout.

"Why Jimmy, Lily? I'm better at riding than he will ever be." Cody sulked,

"Stop filling her mind with lies Cody, Lily knows that I'm the best around here." Jimmy smiled tickling Lily's tummy.

"Is that right Meme?" Cody laughed in Jimmy's face.

Lou just sat and smiled, loving that Lily was around the only family she had known. She knew she had done the right thing by coming back with Teaspoon.

She silently thanked Kid for yet another gift he had sent without ever knowing, first the gift of a child, and then by writing Teaspoon, the gift of a family.

Lou's mind went to the letter that still remained untouched in her trunk. She hadn't been able to bring herself to open it yet, but her mind was at ease knowing where it was when she needed it.

"You boys are all wrong, Lily knows her Mother is the best rider, don't you darlin'?" Lou asked as she swept her daughter up in her arms and gave her a kiss on the cheek.

"Mama," Lily giggled as she tried to push Lou away. Lou put a pout on her lips, like Cody had, and looked to her wee girl, "Mama just wanted a kiss," Lou tried to say sadly.

It worked though. Lily planted a big kiss on her mother's lips, before holding her wee arms out for Jimmy.

"Well Meme, looks like you are taking her to see the horses." Lou smiled as Jimmy took Lily into his arms trying to look annoyed by the name Lily had given him, but everyone could all see that 'Meme' was just as besotted with Lily as she was with him.

"Watch yourself." Jimmy warned her heading for the barn with Lily in his arms.

Lou laughed along with Cody as they watched Jimmy's retreating form. "Is Tiffany coming over today?" Lou asked turning towards Cody.

Things between he and Tiffany were turning serious very quickly, but Lou was happy for her friend. Tiffany was a nice girl, and she seemed to be smitten with Cody, which was the main thing.

"No I'm heading to her place today." Cody told Lou,

Lou nodded that she had heard him before telling him she needed to grab some stuff from the store. "Can you let Jimmy know I will be back soon?"

"Sure will Lou, but I think that he and Lily will be still looking at the horses before you get back."

"You're probably right." Lou laughed. Her daughter really loved her horses, which was a good thing, as she was surrounded with them.

Lou grabbed her list of things she needed and headed for the store.

Since telling the boys what had happened, Lou had begun to heal more and more each day. She was getting her confidence back and was venturing out a lot more often.

The boys had been great, and while she knew that she had upset them by telling them, she was thankful she had, for her own healing.

"Ma'am," a tall dark stranger said as he walked past Lou on her way into the store.

Lou gave him a curt nod and walked through the door. "Be right with you," Tompkins yelled out from the back.

"It's just Lou," Lou called back, not wanting him to rush if he was busy. Lou searched the shelves looking for what she needed, when a voice stopped her.

"Louise?" A woman's voice questioned.

Lou turned towards the source to see Jennifer Tompkins standing at the counter, looking prettier than ever.

"Jennifer?" Lou walked over not believing that this beautiful woman was the same girl she had meet years ago.

"Yes. How have you been?" she asked Lou. Of course Lou wasn't going to go into too much detail, so she replied with a "good and you?"

"I've been great. I have come back to try and mend my relationship with my father. You get to a certain age and family just becomes more important than anything else in this life time."

"I agree. If you don't have family, you don't feel complete." Lou told her in return.

The two girls stood and talked for the better part of an hour, while Tompkins served other customers and smiled at the two girls. He loved having his Jennifer back, and he was pleased that Lou seemed to befriend her quickly.

"Jennifer I must go, I left Lily with the boys..."

"Say no more," Jennifer laughed.

"They are actually really good with her, I'm lucky." Lou knew she was so she didn't want to take their kindness for granted. "Why don't you come for supper tomorrow night?" Lou asked. She could see that Jennifer wasn't sure. "Oh please Jennifer the boys would love to see you." She knew that Buck in particular would be happy.

"Ok but please call me Jenny, Jennifer is so formal."

"Ok, done deal." Lou laughed.

After paying Tompkins, Lou walked back to the station happy that she had gone to the store today. Lou never thought she would be a match maker, but she was excited at the prospect of Jenny and Buck finding each other. She decided she would keep the fact Jenny was coming to dinner a secret.

"Mighty beautiful smile on your face my dear." Teaspoon said as he walked up beside her. "Tompkins having a sale?" he queried but knew that that was not the reason.

"No Teaspoon," Lou laughed. "Did you know Jenny was back?" she asked Teaspoon.

"Tompkins daughter?"

"Yeah, she is back and I have invited her for supper tomorrow." Lou sung, before mentally slapping herself. "I wasn't meant to tell you that, I want to surprise the boys tomorrow." Teaspoon knew that Lou wanted the boys to be happy, so it didn't take a fool to see that she was going to try and set one of them up, and Teaspoon knew that a certain Kiowa lad was top of the list.

"I'll keep your secret Lou, but don't get your hopes up. It has been years since they last saw each other, people change." Teaspoon warned.

"I know Teaspoon, but I have a real good feeling about this."

"Alright sweetheart," Teaspoon smiled wrapping a protective arm around Lou's shoulders. He wasn't going to argue and scare the beautiful smile away from Lou's face.

.

.

Lou, with a lot of help from Rachel, had made a beautiful meal. She had dressed up the table inside Rachel's house, and had made the boys dress in their finest duds for the occasion.

"Lou, it's just dinner, we have it every night, so why the fuss?" Jimmy asked as he sat at the table. His fingers ghosted over the perfectly placed cutlery, scared to actually touch it in case he ruined all Lou's hard work.

"It's nice to play grownups every now and again Jimmy." Lou told him smacking his hand away from the neatly folded napkin.

"Louise this looks lovely, thank you." Tiffany said as she sat in the chair Cody held out for her. Lou gave Cody an impressed smile as she witnessed his gentleman ways.

"Thank you, and your welcome Tiffany,"

"Where's Lily this evening?" Tiffany asked anyone and everyone.

"She's sleeping in Rachel's room. The boys took her for a ride out to some properties today, damn near wore her out." Lou replied making all the boys and Rachel smile.

Lou didn't care who's company she was in, or how fancy the table she was sitting at looked, she was always herself, so when she threw a damn into her sentence, it may have shocked Tiffany who was so proper, but her family just expects it. Hell they were grateful it wasn't something else.

Lou gave Buck a strange look, wondering why he was wearing such a stupid grin. "What?" Lou asked, but he just shook his head. He cared deeply for Lou and he loved seeing the small changes in her these past few weeks.

He couldn't help but smile at her.

A knock at the door had the conversation stopping. "That will be our other guest." Lou sung, forgetting Buck's look, because she knew it would be replaced with another when he saw who their guest was.

Standing from her spot at the table and practically running for the door, Lou flung it open giving Jenny her biggest smile of the evening. "Jenny, I'm so glad you made it, please come in." Lou grabbed Jenny's hand and pulled her into the house.

"Everyone I hope you remember Jenny." Lou smiled looking to Buck, loving that his previously stupid look was now replaced with his beautiful crooked smirk, "Tiffany Harrington, this is Jenny Tompkins,"

"Hi Jenny, pleased to meet you."

"You too Tiffany," Jenny grinned, "Hello again," she said to the other faces in the room, "Buck," she smiled.

"Jenny," Lou rolled her eyes at Buck's silly reply. Was that the best he could come up with?

"Jenny I have sat you in between Buck and Tiffany." Lou said pointing to the empty chair.

"I bet you have," Jimmy snickered under his breath, causing Buck and Lou to give him the stink eye.

Conversation flowed throughout the night and Lou was feeling pretty good about herself. She hoped that the sound of wedding bells would be ringing form the church bells sometime soon.

Kid suddenly appeared in her mind.

She did miss him, or maybe it was the comfort she missed. Was that wrong? Kid was her husband, she was meant to miss him something fierce wasn't she?

But she didn't.

Lou felt like she had said goodbye to Kid, long before she had found out he was dead. But did that mean that she could move on, be with another man?

A shudder ran through her as the thought crossed her mind. Jimmy noticed immediately and looked to her in concern. The smile that had graced her face the last few days was long gone, as she seemed to be in deep thought.

Lou was warring with herself. Could she stand to have a man touch her? The thought alone scared and repulsed her.

Cody also noticing Lou's change in behaviour reached under the table to hold her hand, but it was the wrong gesture at the wrong time.

Lou jumped so far out of her seat, scaring everyone. "Shit, sorry," she muttered as she left the room, saying something about checking on Lily.

"Is she alright?" Jenny asked,

"Yeah she's fine. I think I scared her is all." Cody said staring forlornly after Lou.

Tiffany looked to Cody seeing he was worried about his friend. She knew it was a brotherly worry though, so she was not jealous, just concerned that he felt bad.

"Excuse me I'll go help her with Lily." Jimmy said as he got off his seat, placing the napkin on the table.

He found Lou leaning up against the door frame of Rachel's room, where Lily was fast asleep.

"She ok?" he asked softly, knowing very well that there was nothing wrong with Lily.

"God I'm an idiot Jimmy." She said as she shook her head. Seeing that Lou was alright to talk about what had just happened, he braved it and asked,

"What happened?"

"My mind was in a stupid place, Cody grabbed my hand under the table and scared me is all." She felt so stupid and hoped that she hadn't ruined everyone's night.

"Do you want to come back?" he asked, wanting to comfort her but not baby her. Lou was stronger than anyone gives her credit for, and Jimmy was aware of this and didn't want to smoother her in his worry.

"Yeah, but I'm a bit embarrassed," Lou admitted.

"Well don't be. Now get your pretty butt back in there and be as charming as you were earlier." He smiled. Lou smiled as well, thankful for the small reality check.

So with an apology to her guest's, and a reassuring kiss to Cody's cheek, Lou dished up their deserts and made a pot of coffee, while Teaspoon sat back and admired Lou's handy work.

Buck and Jenny were talking comfortably. Cody was helping Tiffany with her shawl, before he escorted her home, while Jimmy helped Lou with the cleaning up.

"She did good." He whispered to Rachel, who was snuggled up beside him on the chair next to the fire place.

"She did." Rachel agreed, watching Lou smiling and laughing with the boys, Jenny and Tiffany. "I've sure missed that smile Teaspoon." Rachel admitted as she lent her head up against his shoulder.

"They're all smiling Rachel. I think we need the bigger house more than ever." Teaspoon kissed the side of Rachel's neck, as she leaned into him even more than what she was. He couldn't believe that Rachel returned his feelings for her. He felt like he was the luckiest man in the room.

He knew that he was not a handsome man, nor a young one, but for some reason Rachel loved him, and he promised her that he would love her back for the rest of his days.

.

.

Teaspoon had found the perfect piece of land. It was a large grassy prairie nestled between two rivers. It was only twenty minutes from the town ship and it was big enough for what Teaspoon wanted.

He and the boys sat down and discussed what and where they wanted to build. Lou knew that they were concerned about money as there wasn't a lot coming in, and since the war was over the price of everything seemed to sky rocket.

She wished that her property would hurry and sell, so she could contribute more.

"Lou come on sweetheart it's your turn." Teaspoon called her over to the table where they were all seated.

"The main house is going to be here. Now what we're thinking is building a bigger version of the bunkhouse here for the boys, and have you and Lily in a nice cottage back here." Teaspoon pointed to a spot not far behind the bunkhouse but it was far enough.

With a worried look her eyes found Buck's first. "Lou?" he questioned causing them all to look away from the plan's, and focus on her.

Lou didn't know what to say nor do. She felt so stupid. "What is it honey?" Jimmy asked.

"I don't want to live alone. Can I not just live in the bunkhouse?"

"Of course you can Lou. But wouldn't you like your own space?"

"No, and yes." Lou answered for several different reasons. She felt guilty that she was unable to contribute any money and here they were offering her and Lily their own place. With that as well as being anxious about living alone, Lou just didn't know how to feel.

"Lou you are going to be right next door to us, nothing and I mean nothing will happen to you or Lily." Jimmy promised her, picking up on why she maybe against living by herself.

"Ok," Lou said unsurely. She knew that Jimmy's promise was a big promise to make, but she also knew that the boys, Teaspoon and Rachel were all going to be in yelling distance so that was a comfort to know. "Um, I suppose if I was to add something, I would like a small fence around the cottage so I know Lily was safe if she was to wander out of the house on her own." Lou said quietly.

"But Teaspoon I don't have any money…"

Teaspoon immediately drew a fence around the small cottage so Lou could see what it looked like, and put an end to her worrying about money. "Like that sweetheart?" He asked her not even addressing her earlier statement.

"Perfect, thank you." Lou reached up onto her tippe toes and kissed Teaspoon's cheek, before excusing herself. She didn't care what the plans looked like; all she cared about was that she was going to be close to the ones she loved most in this world.


	5. Chapter 5

**I do not own the Young Riders**

* * *

><p>Months passed and like Lou had predicted wedding bells were going to<br>chime from the beautiful white wooden Chapel that sat in the middle of town.

Lou couldn't be happier for the man she called her brother.

Cody and Tiffany were in love, anyone that saw them together could see that.

Tiffany came from a very wealthy family and it looked like the wedding was  
>going to be the biggest that Rock Creek had ever witnessed.<p>

Lou had pleaded with Cody to take the cottage that was just about complete  
>on their new block of land, but Cody wouldn't hear of it, and neither would<br>Tiffany's father.

Emmett Harrington was a proud man that wanted only the very best for  
>his daughter, and Lou could understand that and respect that. But Lou was<br>saddened to hear that he had bought Cody and Tiffany a ranch of their own, on the other side of town.

She hoped that when Mrs. Harrington arrived later today, she would see that  
>Tiffany and Cody were happy here, and maybe see that they would be just as<br>happy in a small cottage as they would be in a huge house.

.

.

Lou looked up at the horizon to see Jimmy riding in slowly with Lily sitting in  
>front of him.<p>

Jimmy had started taking Lily out most mornings. Lou had no idea where they  
>went or what they did, but all she knew was that it made them both happy.<p>

She watched as Jimmy leaned down to Lily's ear and pointed in Lou's direction.

"Makes a pretty picture, don't you think?" Rachel asked Lou, making her blush.

"Mama," Lilly squealed with excitement when her wee eyes found Lou's.

"I missed you, baby girl." Lou smiled as she held her hands out for her, as  
>Jimmy handed Lily down to Lou.<p>

"I think she missed you too," Jimmy said softly as he watched Lily snuggle into  
>her mother's neck. "I hope I haven't worn her out too much." Jimmy asked, suddenly worried.<p>

"Lily loves being with you, don't worry she's fine." Lou reassured. "Actually  
>would you mind watching her this afternoon when Tiffany's Mother arrives?"<br>Lou asked as she straightened out Lily's dress. "Rachel is needed at the School so I am entertaining Tiffany and her Mother and friend."

"Of course, I don't mind Lou." Jimmy told her seriously.

Jimmy wanted to spend as much time with Lily as he could. He loved her  
>Mother, and he wanted to prove to himself before he proved to Lou that he<br>could care for her daughter.

Not that it was hard.

Just like her Mother, Lily had claimed Jimmy's heart.

.

.

Lou spent the rest of the morning getting the house ready for her guests. She  
>was feeling a little unnerved about meeting Tiffany's mother. They came from<br>two very different worlds and couldn't imagine that they would have anything  
>in common.<p>

After lunch Jimmy and Buck came and grabbed Lily. They were taking her to  
>the new land to visit Teaspoon and Cody who were busy putting the finishing<br>touches on Lou's cottage.

Lou had just made the pot of tea when she heard the buggy pull up. Taking a  
>deep breath and silently cursing Rachel for not being here, Lou went to greet<br>her guests.

"Lou this is my mother, Mrs Harrington, and my best friend Gabriella  
>Henderson," Tiffany smiled brightly.<p>

"It's lovely to meet you both." Lou smiled holding out her arm to show them to  
>their chairs.<p>

"You too, _Lou_," Lou frowned at the way Gabriella said her name. She looked up  
>to Tiffany seeing that she was looking apologetic in her direction.<p>

Lou quickly shook it off and poured the ladies a cup of tea.

"Lou I was hoping that Lily would be my flower girl." Lou looked up at Tiffany.

She was honoured that Tiffany would want Lily to be part of her bridal party and her special day.

Lou was just about to accept, when a flustered Mrs Harrington butted in.

"Now dear I really don't think you need a flower girl in the bridal party, do  
>you?"<p>

"Why yes mother I do, that is why I asked. Cody adores Lily and so do I. I want  
>her to be part of our day." Tiffany told her mother.<p>

Lou could see the shocked look on Mrs Harrington's and Gabriella's faces.  
>Obviously Tiffany didn't speak out much.<p>

Lou was proud of Tiffany and she knew deep in her heart that she had a place  
>in this family.<p>

"What about Cody's best man, has he decided who will stand beside him?"  
>Gabriella asked, changing the subject of Lou's daughter.<p>

"He wants Teaspoon to do it. I know he plans on asking him." Tiffany said  
>before taking a sip of her tea.<p>

"He probably asked him weeks ago Tiffany, you know those boys they wouldn't  
>have made a fuss about it." Lou laughed.<p>

"I bet you know them better than anyone," Gabriella muttered, but Lou heard  
>her clear as day, and she knew what she meant.<p>

Lou was going to respond, she had just about had enough, but when the sweet  
>voice of her baby girl interrupted the ladies, Lou bit her tongue.<p>

"Mama, Mama," Lily came running in, laughing. Her dress was covered in mud  
>as was her face. Her hair had twigs all hanging in it. She looked like she had<br>been dragged through the swamp.

"What have you been doing?" Lou laughed as she held out her arms for her  
>messy angel.<p>

"Meme," Lily giggled as she pointed to the door.

"What did Meme do?" Lou looked up to see Jimmy was in just as messy state  
>as Lily. And Buck laughing behind.<p>

"Oh my lord," Tiffany's mother cried out as she took in the sight of Lou's  
>daughter and Jimmy.<p>

"What sort of father would allow his daughter to get in such a way?" She  
>gasped, horrified by the sight of the wee girl.<p>

Lou wanted nothing more than to drop the old pompous lady on her arse,  
>but when she looked to Tiffany once again, and then to Gabriella she realized<br>that none of these ladies had gotten their hands dirty in their whole lives. Lou  
>couldn't blame them for what they didn't know.<p>

"Mother," Tiffany still scolded, but Lou placed a reassuring hand on Tiffany's arm before addressing her Mother.

"Actually Mrs Harrington, Lily's father would have loved seeing his daughter  
>like this." Lou crouched down in front of Lily , "Because she is smiling and<br>laughing and that is all a child should do, and that is all that would have  
>mattered to him, and it is all that matters to me; her happiness."<p>

"You mean to tell me that man is not the girl's father?" Mrs Harrington gasped  
>again.<p>

Lou rolled her eyes. Of course she would have only picked up on that from what  
>Lou had said.<p>

"No, he is not." Lou confirmed.

"Well I never." Mrs Harrington shook her head in disapproval, "Sleeping in that  
>shack with all those men, with your William, Tiffany you must put a stop to<br>that at once."

Lou tuned the old busy body out as she pulled her handkerchief out and  
>started wiping away some of the muddy layers off the little girl she knew was in<br>there.

Lou happened to look up and over Lily to see Jimmy and Buck still standing  
>there both wearing matching livid looks on their faces, as Mrs Harrington kept<br>up her rant.

Both Jimmy and Buck knew that Lou loved Tiffany and they knew that Lou  
>would not disrespect Tiffany by calling out her mother, but they couldn't<br>believe that Lou would just stand there and listen to what that woman was  
>saying.<p>

"How bout Mama makes you the biggest bubble bath?" Lou asked Lily.

"Meme too?" Lou heard Tiffany's Mother gasp again at Lily's innocent  
>question.<p>

"Honey, Jimmy is a boy. Boys don't have bubble baths, only we girls do. Do you  
>know why?"<p>

Lily shook her head 'No'.

"Because you're Mama always puts lots of beautiful soap  
>in the water. It makes you smell like Jasmine, it makes you smell pretty."<br>Lou watched as she could see Lily's mind milling over what Lou had just told  
>her. "Boys don't smell pretty do they?" Lou asked, but as she said it Lou<br>watched as her little girls face lit up.

"Tody smells purdy,"

Lou, Buck, Jimmy and Tiffany all laughed. "That's because your Uncle Cody is a  
>pretty boy." Lou told Lily.<p>

Tiffany was still laughing as she leaned down in front of Lily. "Your Mama's right  
>Lily, your Uncle Cody has more soap and lotions then I do."<p>

Lou smiled at Tiffany; how she hadn't turned out like her mother, Lou would never  
>know, but she was very thankful that she hadn't.<p>

"Right, well if you please excuse me Mrs Harrington, Gabriella, it was a  
>pleasure to meet you both and I'm sure we will be seeing each other a lot over<br>the next couple of months."

It didn't escape Lou's notice that both of the ladies cringed as they gave Lou a  
>curt nod.<p>

Lou just sighed and placed another reassuring hand on an upset looking Tiffany.

She didn't want her friend to worry, she knew she would not be losing any  
>sleep over the two women.<p>

Lou held out her hand for Lily to take and they both made their way out of the  
>house.<p>

"Lou, how you didn't deck that woman...I will ever know." Jimmy laughed.

"She's Tiffany's mother, I wouldn't do that to her." Lou sighed wishing she  
>could actually go back in there and slap Mrs Harrington.<p>

Jimmy and Buck both knew she wouldn't but they could also see and hear in  
>Lou's voice that Tiffany's mother had gotten under her skin.<p>

After Lou bathed and fed her daughter she thought that she would read Lily  
>a story to help get her to sleep. But Lou was worn out as well, and ended up<br>falling asleep next to her little angel.

.

.

Through the night the wind howled around the bunkhouse, whistling through  
>the gaps.<p>

A loud bang had Lou waking in a fright. Her eyes sprung wide open and her  
>heart was racing.<p>

"It's alright Lou, it's just the wind." Jimmy's voice said through the dark.

"What are you doing awake?" Lou asked sleepily, but glad he was.

"We all are. Not sure this wind is going to let up, we may be awake all night  
>at this rate." Buck's voice said.<p>

Lou reached over and pulled the quilt up and over Lily's shoulders.

"Are we close to morning?"

"Still the middle of the night Lou, try and go back to sleep." Jimmy told her.

"Mmmm," Lou sighed as she snuggled down in her blankets.

Just as she closed her eyes another loud bang vibrated through the air. "We're  
>going to have heaps of repairs to do in the morning." Buck sighed.<p>

Lou thought she would rather do that then spend another day with Tiffany's  
>Mother. "I'll do your share, if you entertain Tiffany's mother."<p>

"Tiffany said she was being difficult." Cody said with annoyance. He loved  
>Tiffany, and wished he could love her family, but he had a feeling that<br>wasn't about to happen with his Mother in Law.

Lou rolled her eyes, difficult was an understatement. She was darn right rude.

"What about Gabriella?" Cody asked.

"What about her?" Lou answered.

"Was she nice? She is Tiffany's best friend yet I haven't spent any time with  
>her."<p>

"Cody, you're not missing out on much let me tell you." Lou snapped, but wished she could take it back.

She didn't want to be that girl.

"Why, what did she do to make you say that?"

"Nothing Cody, I'm sorry I said that." Lou yawned out.

"Try and go back to sleep Lou," Jimmy told her again.

Lou must have fallen asleep again because the next time she opened her eyes it  
>was day light.<p>

Lou got up and started on her chores, while Lily followed close behind. She  
>liked being a big help to her mother.<p>

After lunch Rachel asked Lou if she would mind going to Tompkins store and  
>picking up some thread. Apparently Cody's attire for the wedding needed to be<br>taken up.

Jimmy asked Lou if Lily wanted to go for a ride with him, since he couldn't take  
>her out in the morning. The boys were right; they had been busy most of the<br>day fixing the old barn and corral.

"Can I trust that you won't bring her back smelling and looking like a swamp  
>today?" Lou asked Jimmy as she handed her daughter over to him.<p>

Jimmy adjusted Lily in his arms and stared affectionately down at Lou. "You  
>love that Lily and I showed up looking like we did. It meant that you didn't have<br>to sit listening to that obnoxious woman."

Lou looked up at Jimmy and Lily thinking that Rachel was right, they did make a  
>pretty picture.<p>

Once upon a time Lou struggled for what she felt for Jimmy. She loved him in  
>her own way, but that love was over shadowed by how much she loved Kid.<p>

Lou remembered waking up one day and just realizing that Jimmy would never  
>open his heart to her. He did not think he was worthy of love and until he<br>learned that he was worth it, he would never be able to love.

Of course despite what Lou thought, Jimmy had always loved her.

He was scared, and still is if he thought about it too much, he was scared that his love  
>could hurt Lou.<p>

He remembered when Lou sat in front of him asking what she would do if she  
>lost him. Jimmy wanted to confess his love then. He wanted to tell her that she<br>would never lose him, that she owned every part of him.

"You're right, I was thankful that you and Lily disrupted us." Lou reached her  
>hand up and wiggled the tip of Lily's nose. "Even if you both looked like swamp<br>creatures." Lily giggled at her mother's silly gesture.

"I'm just going to the store for Rachel, so I won't be long."

"Ok, well I have to help Buck, so I might drop this wee one in with Rachel after  
>we go for a small ride."<p>

Lou nodded her head, "Well, you be a good girl Lily. Mama will see you in a  
>bit."<p>

"Bye, Mama"

Lou walked down to Tompkins store, greeting all that said their Hellos and  
>Good Days.<p>

After a quick conversation with Jenny and a promise to see each other the  
>following day Lou purchased the dark thread and headed back to the station.<p>

On the way back to the station Lou couldn't help but feel giddy as her mind  
>took her to Jimmy.<p>

Jimmy knew what Lou had been through.

He knew that she had been used and yet he didn't look at her any different than how he did before he knew of Lou's  
>nightmares.<p>

But could Lou do that to Kid?

Lou knew how much it bothered Kid that she and Jimmy were close. Could she  
>really look at Jimmy in a loving way, and taint Kid's memory like that?<p>

Shaking her head she couldn't allow herself to think that far ahead. She was in  
>no way ready for exploring the affections of another man, and she wasn't even<br>sure if Jimmy felt anything for her. She did not want to make a fool of herself.

Lou walked up the steps and into Rachel and Teaspoon's house and let herself  
>in.<p>

Lou looked up expecting to see Rachel and Lily waiting on her, but instead she  
>was greeted with the sight of Cody standing on a stool, while Rachel walked<br>around him with a pin in her hand and one hanging from her mouth.

But it was not that, that had Lou standing frozen solid in the doorway. It was  
>not that, that caused her to gasp and cover her mouth.<p>

It was the sight of Cody in the Union uniform.

The same uniform that came into her home and destroyed what was left of her  
>heart.<p>

The same uniform that humiliated her, made her do things she wouldn't dare  
>repeat, striking fear and desolation into her. The same deep blue uniform that<br>she had to stare at, as the man who wore it angrily thrust in and out of her.

And the same damn uniform that was no doubtingly worn by the man who  
>killed her husband.<p>

She hated that uniform.

And there Cody stood. A man she considered her brother, wearing it with a  
>proud smile on his face.<p>

"W-w-why are you wearing that?" Lou asked, trying to keep the emotion out of  
>her voice.<p>

Cody didn't turn around to look at Lou. He was too busy making sure Rachel  
>wasn't going to stick him with a needle.<p>

"Cos' I'm getting married in it."

"But you didn't...I mean I never saw you wear it until now, why now?"

"Tiffany thought it would be nice instead of black dress coat. I kind of agree. I  
>mean I chose not to wear it when I was a scout, and that is why it looks brand<br>new." Cody laughed as he fingered the gold coloured buttons.

"I don't." Lou snapped causing Cody to finally turn and look at her, with Rachel  
>not far behind.<p>

"How could you wear that?" Lou cried as she stormed over to where Lily sat  
>and picked her up.<p>

"Lou, what..."

"You know what that uniform did to me. YOU KNOW!" Lou screamed as she  
>walked out with a crying Lily in her arms.<p>

Lou was so angry with Cody, surely he had to know. Lou told him what  
>that...that monster had done to her. How could he think that that wouldn't<br>hurt her?

Because it's his day, not yours, a small voice reminded Lou.

"Mama?" Lily's worried little voice asked as she snuggled deep into Lou's neck.

Lily knew her mama was sad, and it was making her sad as well. She hated  
>seeing her mama cry.<p>

"I'm sorry, baby," Lou cried as she fell to her knees with her arms gripping Lily  
>tight.<p>

Lou rocked her child and she cried.

The sound of someone running had Lou grip Lily a little tighter. She could hear  
>the person let out a breath.<p>

"Lou?" Buck questioned as he knelt down in front of her. Lily held her hands  
>out for Buck. Lou didn't want to let her go, but with the mood she was in, it<br>was probably for the best.

Once Buck had Lily, he carried the wee girl to Rachel who was waiting outside  
>of the house.<p>

With a sad smile Rachel took Lily and carried her inside, as Cody came running  
>around from the back of the house.<p>

"I found her," Buck said, indicating with his head to follow him.

Cody followed Buck to behind the barn, and the sight damn near broke his  
>heart.<p>

"Lou, I'm sorry. I never meant to hurt you, I promise it was never my intention."  
>Cody stressed as he crouched down so Lou could see him, and see that he no<br>longer had the Uniform on.

"Tiffany and her mother thought that it would be an idea for me to wear it  
>because Tiffany's brother, uncles and cousins will be wearing their uniform."<br>Cody told Lou, just as Jimmy came to join them.

Lou just sat there with her knees pulled up to her chest. Jimmy also crouched  
>down and went to place a hand on Lou's knee as a gesture of comfort, but he<br>thought against it.

He didn't know where her head was at, nor did he want to scare her.

"Lou honey we never really talked much about it. I mean is there anything else  
>you can think of that might lead us to him. Like his rank..." Jimmy lead off.<p>

"He was a Captain." Lou said straight away.

"How do you know that honey?" Jimmy asked as he came to stand next to  
>Buck and Cody.<p>

"He had a strap here." Lou pointed to her shoulder. "It had two gold bars on  
>either end." Cody nodded, Lou was right.<p>

"Do you know his name? Did he uh..." Cody didn't know how to ask what he  
>wanted to without upsetting Lou. "Did he ask you to call him by his name?"<p>

Lou let out a strangled cry as she looked down at the ground, "No" she  
>managed to get out, "He made me call him Master, because I was his slave."<p>

Lou whimpered as she curled into herself.

A loud bang had Lou jumping out of her skin, but she didn't dare look up.

Jimmy kicked a rock at the side of the barn. Buck quickly stood and restrained  
>Jimmy from doing something he may regret.<p>

"Because Kid was Confederate?" Cody guessed, and guessed right as Lou  
>nodded her head that lay on her knees.<p>

The boys stood and looked to one another wondering what the hell they could  
>do to find the asshole that dared treat Lou that way.<p>

Until they had more information to go on, Cody knew he could do something  
>about the pain he caused her today.<p>

"I'll tell Tiffany..."

"No please, please don't tell her. I don't want anyone else to know."

"I was just going to say that I will tell her that I will be wearing the black..."

"No Cody, you can't."

"Lou, they are only clothes, it really won't matter."

"It will matter Cody." Lou said softly. "Tiffany and her Mother have been  
>dreaming of her wedding day since the moment she was born. It is their day.<br>Please don't ruin their dream because of me." Cody sighed out loud and rubbed and over his face as he agreed to not say anything.

"Cody?"

"Yes, Lou?"

"There's going to be soldiers at your wedding, isn't there?"

"There will be Lou. And I'd gladly kill anyone of them if they hurt you or anyone  
>else for that matter."<p>

Lou knew Cody meant what he said. She just hoped that she was strong  
>enough to get through it.<p>

* * *

><p><strong>Thank you Kristina for taking the time to go over this chapter for me, I really appreciate it.<strong>


	6. Chapter 6

**I do not own The Young Riders.**

* * *

><p>Finally after months of many a tears, and strategic planning the wedding of Mr William F Cody, and Tiffany Claire Harrington was to take place late the next afternoon.<p>

Lou was perched up on the side of the corral overlooking the two new foals and their Mothers. She knew that it was not very lady like, considering she was wearing a dress, but she did not care.

In fact Lou was hoping Mrs Harrington graced her with her presence, because Lou knew that Mrs Harrington would not be able to keep her tongue at seeing such a sight. Lou wanted her to say something, just one more thing because Lou was at the end of her tether.

She had had enough of the snide comments, the rude remarks and the looks of aversion in the old cow's eyes.

For the last few months she had held her tongue, and she had smiled brightly, wishing not to hurt Tiffany's feelings, but she had had enough.

Her words had caused Lou such hurt and fury, that Lou could no longer stand and listen to her anymore.

No Mrs Harrington's words were not intended for Lou's ears, but she heard them loud and clear. She also saw the disapproving nod of Mr Harrington and Gabriella.

"_I wish Tiffany would come to her senses and see that there is no room for that bastard child at this wedding."_

Lou had heard the hateful words muttered under the bitch's breath, the hateful tone shot through Lou like a hot bullet freshly fired.

She clutched her chest and she ran from the house. She was unable to breathe until fresh air hit her lungs.

Lou hunched over and wrapped an arm over her stomach as her sobs tried to choke her.

Once she knew her breathing was under control Lou stumbled across the yard and towards the corral.

That is still where she found herself.

"Lou?" Buck's voice questioned from behind her.

Lou wiped her eyes clear of any moisture. She did not want to cause her friend to worry.

"Lou what is wrong?'?"

"Nothing." Buck raised his eyebrows at Lou. He could see that her eyes were red and puffy and he could just make out her tear stained face. Why was she lying to him?

"I just feel like...I don't know." Lou said making no sense what so ever. "People are missing Buck." Lou came out and said. Of course her mind was on Kid. Had he been here then Mrs Harrington would have no reason to attack Lily like she did.

Lily was not a bastard. Lou was married to her father, and she loved him dearly. The horrible woman had no right talking about things she didn't know.

"I know Lou, but in some way they aren't." Lou looked to Buck to see he was holding his heart.

"That is not the same Buck, and you know it."

"I know Lou, but surely you can't believe that Kid isn't watching over you and Lily. I believe Ike watches out for me daily." Buck chuckled. Lou smiled down at her friend. He was such a kind hearted soul.

"You know Buck it should be you and Jenny taking the cottage." Lou admitted still not feeling right about the house. And wanting the subject of conversation on anything but what was upsetting her.

"Jenny and I are in no hurry Lou. We are getting to know one another."

"Well don't you wait too long Buck. She is a beautiful woman, you don't want anyone swooping in and asking her first." Lou said trying to joke, but there was no humour in her tone and Buck worried that Jenny had other suitors.

"Is there someone else Lou. I mean is Jenny seeing someone else?"

"No Buck," Lou nearly yelled. "Jenny loves you more than anyone, how could there be others?" She quickly tried to rectify, but she could tell by the look on Buck's face that he was not convinced. "Buck I'm sorry, I only meant it as a joke, but the mood I'm in it all came out wrong."

"Uh Mama," Jimmy's voice said from behind Lou and Buck.

Lou turned around to see Lily in Jimmy's arms. Her head was nestled into the crook of his neck and her thumb was in her mouth.

How could anyone say something so hurtful about the angel Lou saw in front of her eyes?

"I guess it has been a big day for her." Buck said as he placed a small kiss on Lily's little head.

"It has," Jimmy agreed as he looked between Buck and Lou. "Do you want me to put her to bed?" He asked sensing he had interrupted something.

"No that's alright, I'll take her." Lou said as she held her hands out to grab Lily.

Jimmy handed Lily over looking to Buck for answers. Something was up, but he had no idea.

"Buck I meant what I said. There was nothing behind what I told you. I'm sorry I caused you to worry." Lou said as she walked to the bunkhouse. She had to get hers and Lily's hair in rags before they turned in for the night.

"What was that about?" Jimmy asked Buck.

"I don't know." Buck admitted.

"How don't you know, you were here with her and she just apologised to you obviously you know something."

"I saw Lou leave the house in a hurry. I came out here and saw her sitting on the corral." Buck let out a huge breath of air when he realised that Lou was just trying to take the questions off of her. She was trying to change the subject, and she tried to joke, Buck could see that now. "She had been crying." He told Jimmy.

"She seems to be doing that a lot lately," Jimmy stated as he watched Lou's retreating form. "It ain't right."

The following morning, the stress of the night before seemed to have faded, as the wedding was all anyone could talk about.

Lou awoke to find that it was only her and Lily in the bunkhouse. Stretching her arms out, Lou yawned and stretched her toes as far as she could before slipping out of bed.

She was not looking forward to the most part of the day, though the thought of seeing Cody and Tiffany united in matrimony put a smile on Lou's face.

Then she remembered what she was wearing.

Sighing out loud Lou didn't know what to say when Tiffany had presented the dress to Lou. It was everything Lou wanted to hate.

It was the same shade of blue that she hated, and it was bought by Tiffany's mother who she despised.

Lou wanted nothing from that woman, and the fact that she will recognise what Lou was wearing made Lou cringe.

But Tiffany was so excited. She gushed how the blue fabric would bring the colour out in Lou's eyes.

So to please Tiffany Lou accepted the dress and the silly hoop petticoat with a smile.

Lou gathered all the things she needed for her and Lily to get ready over at Rachel's.

Her hair was in rags as was Lily's. Lou had no idea why Lily needed them, as her hair was naturally curly, until Rachel clarified that they were not the right curl.

Sitting on the bed, Lou looked over her sleeping beauty. In Lou's eyes Lily was the right everything. She couldn't imagine anyone being any more perfect.

Lou woke Lily from her sleep, and Lou thought that she had done the wrong thing as Lily woke in an unusual grumpy mood.

"Sleepy," Lily cried to her mother as she tried to scramble back to the bed.

"No baby girl, you have to get up sweetie,"

"No Mama, no." She cried.

Lou didn't know what to do; Lily had never woken like this. Maybe all the excitement had worn her out too.

Or maybe she was sick, Lou suddenly stressed. Lou held her hand out to check Lily's forehead, but it seemed ok.

"Don't you want to go to Cody's wedding?" Lou asked and was nearly bowled off of the bed as Lily sprung into action.

"Over tired it is," Lou laughed as she helped Lily across to Rachel's house.

After hours of hair and dressing the wedding party was ready and looking beautiful.

"You know Louise I think you and I look pretty good too," Rachel said as she came up beside Lou placing a loving arm around her.

"I think so too," Lou smiled up at her.

"Hello?" A small voice called from the door way. Lou and Rachel both leaned back to see Jenny waiting on the door step.

"Jenny you look beautiful." Lou sung as her friend appeared in the door. She was wearing a deep green dress, with her golden hair half up, and half down.

"So do you Lou." Jenny replied before looking down to see Lily standing next to her mother. "Why Miss Lily you look so pretty in your dress." Jenny doted.

"Meme says I'm da purdiest."

"And he is right, you surely are." Both Buck and Cody were so lucky to have these amazing women by their sides.

"Where are Jimmy and Buck?" Lou asked no one in particular.

"They are with Cody, I'm heading over to the church now, would you like for me to send Jimmy back?" Teaspoon asked.

"No leave him with Cody. Knowing Cody he is a nervous wreck."

"If you're sure?" Teaspoon asked, to which Lou nodded, "Well then how about I escort you Miss Tompkins to the church." Teaspoon held out his arm.

"Why thank you kind sir, but what about Rachel?"

Teaspoon smiled, "She my dear is still beautifying, and I think Tiffany asked her to help Lily up the aisle." That was the first Lou knew about it. She wondered why Tiffany didn't ask her since she was Lily's mother.

"I think she wants you to just sit back and enjoy the day," Teaspoon said answering Lou's unasked question.

Lou smiled to Teaspoon grateful that he knew what she needed. "Alright you two I will see you over there." Lou smiled, gathering her monstrosity of a dress up so she could go and find Lily and let her know that she would see her in the church.

"Lily," Lou called out.

"Mama," Lou crouched down as far as her dress would allow, and as close to Lily's level she could.

"You look so pretty baby girl." Lou said as she pulled on a big ringlet, "Your Daddy would have loved seeing you like this," Lou ran a hand down Lily's dress. "His little lady,"

"No cry Mama," Lily said as she wrapped her wee arms around Lou's neck. Lou hadn't realised she was.

"I love you so much Lily," Lou said as she hugged her back.

Lou tilted her head up willing the tears away, but it was hard when the last time she was in the towns' church it was for her own wedding.

Lou married Kid all those years ago, and she can honestly say it was the best thing she did.

"Are you alright Lou?" Rachel asked concerned for her friend.

Lily let go of her Mother and stood back so Lou could stand, "Yes of course," Lou said as she smiled brightly for Lily. Lou didn't want her daughter to see her sad on such a happy day.

After another kiss, Lou left for the church. She kind of wished she took up Teaspoon's offer the closer she got.

Standing in front of the steps, Lou said a silent prayer for Kid to watch over her and Lily like Buck said that he would. She wanted so much to believe like Buck believed.

Lou walked up the five steps of the church she gripped at her clutch and tried not to panic. She knew that Jimmy, Buck, Cody and Teaspoon were all inside the white wooden chapel.

Lou stepped through the doors her eyes seeing the boys and Teaspoon standing at the altar. They were huddled in close together seeming to be having a meeting of some sort, or maybe they were trying to calm down an anxious Cody was more like it.

Lou looked around the small church, seeing the backs of the many town folk, and the many strangers. In the corner of her eye, where she tried so hard to not look, the colour of blue was worn.

Lou knew that they would be here, just like she knew that Cody would be wearing his uniform as well.

Lou tried to swallow her fear and started to make her way to the front pews. Her eyes never leaving the boys and Teaspoon, and her shaking grip hanging on for dear life to her clutch.

Cody happened to look up and see Lou's terrified form walk up the aisle. "Jimmy," he said quietly, not wanting to draw any attention on Lou.

Both Jimmy and Buck looked in Lou's direction, "Shit," Jimmy muttered as he walked up and met Lou.

And although he was meeting her to make her feel safe he also had to take the moment to admire how breath taking she looked. A smile played on his lips and a proud look took over his face, for he was the one who actually got to sit with the stunning beauty in front of him.

"You look absolutely beautiful," he told her as he held out his arm for her to take.

"Jimmy...I..."

"I know Lou and I promise that you are safe."

"Lily?" Lou asked. She didn't like the idea of Lily being alone out there without her or one of the boys with her.

"Is ok. Rachel is with her, she is alright honey." Lou nodded as she let Jimmy guide her to her seat.

Once seated, Lou wrapped her arm tight around Jimmy's and she rested her head on his shoulder.

His mere presence relaxed her considerably. The safety that only he could give her was over whelming. Lou suddenly thought that she would never be able to let him go.

"Lou, it's time." Jimmy whispered pulling Lou out of her day dream.

He pulled her to stand just as Rachel joined them. Lou looked up to the altar to see that Cody was beaming as he looked down the aisle and to the church doors.

Teaspoon was looking smugly in Rachel's direction, while Lou watched as she blushed and smiled coyly back to him. Lou couldn't help but think that more wedding bells were going to chime again soon.

"Awww, Lou she is such a cutie," Jenny cried from behind Lou.

Lou looked to see Buck and Jenny behind her and Jimmy, and saw that they both were watching the church doors. Jimmy stepped aside so Lou could see Lily walking up towards the altar, sprinkling petals from a white silk bag as she walked down the aisle.

As soon as her little eyes found Jimmy's, Lily's sprinkling turned to throwing and dumping as she raced to go and sit with him and her mother.

Small giggles and deep laughter echoed through the church at the antics of the dear child. Of course there were some who were just plan horrified, but when Tiffany made her appearance all was forgotten.

"Meme," Lily announced happily as she bounced into his arms.

"Shh honey, watch Tiffany." He whispered in her ear while Lou fixed the back of her dress.

The ceremony went rather quickly, to which Lou was grateful. She held onto Jimmy's free arm and allowed him to escort both her and Lily out of the church bypassing Tiffany's family.

"I cannot believe Cody is a married man." Lou smiled, "Who would have thought that, that would happen?"

"Lou, Cody has always been the romantic one." Jimmy stated making Lou look at him sideways, "Well it's true, he fell in love every day of the week." Lou and Jimmy laughed as they stood back and watched and waited for the happy couple.

.

.

Later at the reception Lou was close to leaving. She was tired, and Lily whom head lay in her lap was exhausted too.

There had been so much work and planning in the last few weeks, that now that the ceremony was over the weight of the work had finally caught up to her.

"Mama, dink, dink." Lily asked sleepily.

"Ok baby girl, you stay here with Jenny," Lou looked up to Jenny to see if that was alright, "Is that..."

"Of course it is Lou." Jenny held her hands up for Lily to come sit in her lap.

Making her way over to the table of beverages Lou grabbed a glass and went for the pitcher of water.

Pouring a big glass, as she was thirsty as well, her mind went to Jimmy and how much she was starting to really care for him.

Lou picked up the glass and went to turn back, but two arms snaking around her body had her freezing, her mind tried to tell her it was fine, it was just Jimmy, but from the moment he begun to speak, Lou knew it was her monster.

"Hello my little slave."

With a trembling hand Lou managed to place the glass on the table in front of her, scared to turn around. She must have been hearing things. Her monster could not be here.

"Damn you look even better than what I remember." He cooed near her ear, sending a stab of coldness down her spine.

Lou wiggled out of his hold and stepped off to the side and finally glanced at her attacker.

A shocked hand covered her mouth, trying to cover scream that wanted to come out.

"Get away from me." She whimpered,

"Oh come now girl, don't you dare go pretending that our time together didn't mean anything." He grabbed her arm, slightly twisting it. "It meant something to me." He laughed.

"I haven't yet found me a woman that would do the things you did for me." Lou wanted to scream at him, tell him she had no choice, but she knew that he already knew that.

Lou frantically looked around for Jimmy, Buck or Cody, anybody that could help her.

"If you dare think about telling anyone I swear your precious girl will not see the light of another day." He warned. His hot smelly breath breezed on her skin.

"And I swear that I will slit your throat if you dare lay a finger on her." Lou tried to shake his arm, but his grip tightened.

"Them are big fighting words for a little whore."

"Louise I see you met my brother." Tiffany came over smiling as she wrapped an arm around the monster's shoulders. He took his hand off of Lou's arms to which she was grateful.

"Brother?" Lou managed to choke through her fear and revolution.

"Yes older of course." Tiffany laughed as she seemed to stumble.

"Watch it sister." The monster smiled sickly, as he went to hold her up.

Lou thought she was going to be sick.

The monster that did those things to her was now tied to her family. Lou looked around feeling helpless, she needed an exit.

"Lou is everything alright here?" Cody asked coming to stand between Lou and Tiffany's brother.

"Of course it is silly," Tiffany laughed sounding slightly drunk in her husband's ears. Cody smiled adorably at his wife.

"Lou you are white as a ghost, I want to hear it from you that you are alright." He whispered to Lou. Lou looked at Tiffany's brother swallowing back the bile as he licked his lips.

"Yes...I just need Jimmy. Please Cody I need him now."

Cody knew in just hearing that she was not fine.

"Where's Lily?" Cody asked. Lou went to respond but Tiffany's brother interrupted.

"What a pretty name for a pretty girl."

"Oh she is Andrew, come meet her." Tiffany said sounding excited.

"NO!" Lou cried out.

Cody looked to Lou ready to tell her not to be so rude, but when he took in her terror filled eyes he didn't say a word.

"Sorry it's just that I ah...I'm taking her home."

"Lou what aren't you telling me?" Cody whispered in Lou's ear, making her cringe. It was the last thing she needed someone to do.

"Nothing. It's just that uniform." Lou whispered back, "I need to go. I need to find Jimmy." Lou said as she just wondered off, with not even a good bye.

Lou walked over to Jenny and Lily to see Buck was there now too. She held her hands out for Lily, to which Lily held hers out to her Mother.

"Thanks Jenny," Lou said vacantly. She kept looking over her shoulder watching where the monster had gone.

"Lou are you alright?" Jenny asked, gaining Buck's attention.

"I need Jimmy," Lou said finding it harder and harder not to break down.

"Lou..." Buck started.

"Please, where is he?" She cried, her composure crumbling fast.

Buck pointed towards the head table. Lou looked to see Jimmy was talking with Mr Harrington and Teaspoon.

Lou walked over there praying her legs wouldn't fail her.

"I need you to take us home." Was all she said.

Jimmy could hardly hear Lou, but he could tell she needed to go so he placed his drink down and guided Lou back to the station.

He asked if she wanted him to take Lily, but she shook her head no. Lou was never leaving Lily's sight ever again.

Once back at the station Jimmy changed Lily into her nightgown, while Lou changed into hers. "Dink," Lily muttered tiredly. Lou cursed herself that she had forgotten that Lily was thirsty.

She gave her daughter a mug of water before laying her down in the bed. Jimmy sat on his cot watching Lou move around. Something was wrong, but that was all he could tell.

She slipped in the bed behind Lily, and kissed the back of her child's head. Jimmy went to dim the lamp, when a small voice stopped him.

"Can you sleep in here with me and Lily?" Lou asked bravely.

Jimmy looked over to her, but her back was to him. He could see her body shaking and knew that this was not the time for questions and answers. He stripped down to his long johns and slid in the bed behind Lou, his long arm draping over her body and Lily's, keeping them both safe.

* * *

><p><strong>A big thank you to Jenna for proofing this chapter for me. <strong>


	7. Chapter 7

**I do not own the Young Riders.**

* * *

><p>Jimmy felt like he had just closed his eyes when he felt Lou's body begin to shake. Mistaking the action for feeling cold, he pulled the quilt up to cover her shoulders.<p>

The sound of a stifled sob had Jimmy realising that something was up.

He cuddled into her, loving the feel of her, the smell of her, and the warmth of her.

"Tell me Lou," He whispered in her ear, "Tell me what I can do?" He knew that she was spooked, and he knew that it was the uniforms that had her head in an upsetting place.

"Can you promise me, that you will keep your promise?"

"What promise was that sweetheart?"

"To keep me and Lily safe." Jimmy sighed out loud, did she not realise that is all he ever wanted to do, and all he will keep trying to do. They are his everything.

"Lou, you and Lily are important to me, of course I will keep you both safe." He told her kissing the back of her head. "What bought this on honey?"

There was a long pause before Lou finally said, "He's here."

"Who..." Jimmy knew Lou was talking about the son of a bitch that had hurt her. But where was he? Lou had obviously seen him, but she seemed alright this morning, so she had only just found him.

"He was at the wedding?" he asked but it was more like a statement. He felt Lou nod her head. "And that's why you wanted to leave?" Again Lou nodded.

Jimmy made to leave the bed, but Lou grabbed his arm, "Don't leave me." She cried. Jimmy fought against his instinct to hunt the man down who had hurt her, but he would stay…for her.

"He threatened Lily," Lou sobbed as she adjusted her arm to hold Lily closer to her.

"Son of a Bitch," Jimmy hissed.

He held Lou as she cried herself to sleep. But slumber did not find him. All night he lay there with his eyes wide open and his arms securely around Lou and Lily. All he could think about was how he failed his girls.

.

.

Buck tried to sneak into the bunkhouse, hoping no one would have known that he hadn't been home yet. Unfortunately Jimmy was already awake.

Buck took in Jimmy's appearance. He was dressed for the day, his two colts sat loyally beside him as his eyes looked over Lou and Lily's sleeping forms.

"Jimmy?" Buck said as he walked in and closed the door quietly behind him. He chanced a look Lou's way to see her and Lily were still sleeping soundly.

"What's happened?" Buck asked worried

He watched as Jimmy's fists flexed in and out before they would reach for a colt never picking it up, but reaching for it all the same.

His face was red with anger, his eyes dangerous, but in pain.

Buck had never seen him like this and didn't know what to do. He looked back over to Lou though when she made a whimpering noise.

Jimmy was on his feet, looking even more wild when he too heard the small sound.

Buck knew then that whatever was wrong, it had to do with Lou and Lily. He knew that his friend loved those girls, so if they hurt, then he hurt as well.

"Outside." Jimmy said.

He couldn't talk about this rationally or quietly with Lou and Lily finally in a sound sleep.

Jimmy walked out and kicked everything that was in his way. He was angry, he was upset, he felt useless and frustrated.

Buck followed Jimmy out the door and to the barn, where Teaspoon was already getting started on the daily chores. He was actually thankful that he was going to be there, because whatever was going on in Jimmy's head was not good.

"What are you..." Teaspoon stopped when he took in Jimmy's stance. "Jimmy?" He questioned, "What's got you so wound up?"

Tears sprung from Jimmy's eyes when he thought of what that monster had done to Lou.

"What if I can't protect them? What if that son of a bitch comes for them when I'm not here?" Jimmy cried in frustration. "I was at the wedding, under the same roof as her, and yet that bastard got to her, threatened Lily, scared Lou. I was there, I was fucking there and he still got to them." Jimmy yelled.

Teaspoon and Buck stood by not knowing what to say or to do. They too were there, they too had promised the same thing to Lou.

"Did she say who it was?" Teaspoon asked carefully.

"No," Jimmy said shaking his head, "I know she knows his name, but she's not saying."

"She doesn't want to hurt Tiffany," Buck stated. Jimmy looked up at Buck with a frown of confusion. "All those men who were in uniform are a part of Tiffany's family." Buck explained.

"One of those family members has threatened Lily. Surely she should see that protecting Tiffany's feelings aren't that important." Jimmy said in anger.

"Now hold on Jimmy, I know you are angry, but you know that Lou will always put Lily first."

"Then why won't she tell me?" Jimmy yelled in frustration.

"Because he threatened Lily if I tell you," Lou's voice said from behind Teaspoon.

"If he's dead you won't have to worry at all." Jimmy said back to her.

He didn't want to aim his anger towards her, he knew it wasn't fair, but at the moment she seemed like the only person who he could aim it at.

"Where is everyone?" Cody called out coming to the barn.

Lou quickly wrapped her arms around herself and stood back so Cody could walk in.

"Why are you all out here this early in the morning?" he asked looking at each and every one of them, before his eyes lingered on Lou.

She looked tired and seemed uneasy, something was up.

"Just talking, where is your beautiful bride?" Teaspoon asked, hoping to take the tension off. He could see that Lou didn't want to discuss this in front of Cody.

"Ah..." Cody started looking at everyone again, sure he's missed something. "She and Andrew are with Rachel and Lily."

Lou ran from the barn as fast as the dress she was wearing would allow her. She could feel the colour from her face draining the closer she got to the house.

What was she thinking leaving Lily if only for a minute? Lou ran into the house, stopping short at the sight that greeted her.

.

.

"What's wrong?" Cody asked the three worried faces that were watching Lou's retreating form.

Buck, Jimmy and Teaspoon looked between each other not really knowing for sure if they had enough to go on to condemn one of his in laws.

Then Jimmy thought fuck it, all bets are off. Lou was Cody's family a lot longer than Tiffany had been.

"Lou said that the man who hurt her was at your wedding." Jimmy stated coldly. He didn't know how Cody was going to react.

"Who?" Cody asked, feeling sick to his gut. He knew that something was up with her last night, but he didn't push it.

"We don't know son."

"Is she sure? I mean..."

"I believe her. She was too scared for this to be all in her mind." Jimmy told Cody.

Cody thought back to last night. He had remembered seeing her earlier in the night and she seemed fine. She was sitting with Jenny and Buck and she looked as if she was enjoying herself.

But later when he had seen her she was with Tiffany and Andrew. She was white as a ghost, and she was scared.

Things started falling into place in Cody's mind. The way Lou jumped when Tiffany suggested for her brother to meet Lily. The look of terror in her eyes, the desperate plea to find Jimmy.

Andrew was a Captain, and if Cody remembered rightly he had a brutal reputation.

"He's dead," Cody said as he too ran from the barn.

"Who Cody, tell us who." Jimmy demanded as he ran after Cody.

"Andrew." Cody seethed.

.

.

"You are such a pretty girl," Andrew cooed as he bounced Lily on his knee. Lou covered her mouth, not sure what she should do.

Andrew looked over at her and smiled as he ran a hand over Lily's hair. "You are just as pretty as your Mama," he whispered in Lily's ear.

Lou's whole body was shaking. She didn't know what to do. She could hear Rachel and Tiffany talking in the other room, and the sound of the boys fast approaching up the porch.

"Give her to me." Lou cried.

"I don't think so," Andrew smirked, "I like her just where she is." He smiled sickly as he petted Lily's hair.

Lou knew that he was keeping Lily close in case Lou spilt the beans about him. But Lou couldn't stand there and watch that monster with his hands on her girl.

"Good morning Lou," Tiffany said happily walking over to where her brother and Lily were sitting. She placed a kiss on both Lily and Andrew's head before grabbing the teapot and heading back towards the kitchen.

The boy's ran through the door and took the scene in, in front of them. "Cody you know better than to run into the house." Tiffany scolded on her way through.

Lou had to do something that she wasn't sure she could. The men behind her had promised her safety she had to trust them.

Lou turned around to face, Teaspoon, Buck, Cody and Jimmy. She looked to Jimmy, tears falling from her pained eyes, as she quietly said to him. "I need Lily away from him," Jimmy looked over her head to see Tiffany's brother with Lily on his knee, a hand on her hair, whispering something in her ear, but his eyes were glued to Lou, and the boys.

"Lou?" Cody questioned.

"It was him Cody." She told him, hating that she was having to tell him while Tiffany was in the other room. "It was Andrew who hurt me, and now he has Lily on his knee. Please he is a sick man. His hands are on her… I can't have him touch her."

Jimmy stood to full height and adjusted his gun belt. He needed to get Lily away from Andrew without causing alarm to Lily. "Lily baby, come with me sweetheart, I'm going for a ride to the pond. Let's see if the frogs are there today." He told her calmly.

He watched as her eyes lit up and a huge smile took over her face. She went to get off of Andrew's knee but he held onto her tighter.

Lou, Jimmy and the boys looked in alarm as Lily tried to struggle out of Andrew's arms. "Meme, stuck," she said frustrated.

Tiffany came in then holding a tray of tea cups, she saw Lily trying to get off of her brothers knee but without much luck.

Lou kept trying to move, but her body was frozen. She had never been so frightened. "Please…" She begged.

"Andrew, let Lily go. I know she is cute, but she..." Tiffany took in Andrew's stressed face as it was trained in on Lou, her Cody's and the other boy's faces.

"Meme, Meme," Lily cried a little stressed now.

Jimmy stepped forward, his instincts screaming at him to protect Lily. But he knew he couldn't play this how he usually would. He could not risk Lily, or Lou.

"Andrew let her go," Tiffany said a little more panicked as she walked over ready to take the child from his arms. She had no idea what he was playing at.

Tiffany held out her hands for Lily, to which Lily held hers out as well. "Honestly Andrew..."

"Awl, awl," Lily cried, cutting Tiffany off as Andrew gripped her tight. Lou screamed out as she watched her daughter cry in pain.

Tiffany stumbled back with a shocked hand covering her mouth. She did not understand any of this. She did not know why Andrew was hurting a child.

"Let her go you bastard," Lou screamed, as courage raced through her making her legs finally work. She ran over to where Andrew sat ready to fight him with everything she had. Lou knew his strength, he had hurt her. So Lou knew that Lily was in real pain.

Jimmy could see what was going to happen, and tried to stop her. "Lou don't." Jimmy yelled but he couldn't stop her.

"You're hurting her. Take your hands off of her." Lou screamed at him as she got closer.

"I warned you what would happen if you told," he sneered as one of his hands wrapped around Lily's neck.

"NO!" Lou screamed as she flew at him. The boys close behind, while Rachel and Tiffany watched on in horror.

As soon as Lou was in his grasp, Andrew threw Lily hard to the floor. She screamed out in pain, and just as Lou went to go to her Andrew snatched Lou up and pulled her body close to his.

His hand pulled Lou's head close to his mouth. Franticly he started kissing her face and head, leaving a slobbering trail behind him.

He couldn't believe how good she felt, he remembered every inch of her. The way she cried, begged, pleaded for him to stop. He remembered the feeling that it caused to see her so weak.

It made him feel stronger. She did everything she was told, she was so worried about her baby if she didn't. Oh yes he remembered it all.

Jimmy raised his gun and pointed it at Andrew who had backed up against the wall using Lou as a shield.

Lou was looking down to Lily, praying that she was alright. Buck had her in his arms, checking her for injuries.

Lou could see Lily was listening to everything that Buck was telling her. He kissed her cheek and pulled the sleeve of her nightgown up.

Lou could see Lily was trying to be brave, as she bit her wee lip, but the pain took over and she hollered for her mother.

Lou struggled in Andrew's grasp, she want free so she could care for Lily, like she was meant to.

Buck could see that her wee arm was broken. He couldn't believe how brave and quiet she was being. She only cried out when he touched her sore arm. He had seen men three times the age as her bawling in pain with the same injury.

But Lily was more worried about her Mama. She could see that her Mama was scared, and she could see Meme was scared too.

"Meme," Lily cried softly, "Meme," she cried again.

Jimmy wanted so bad to turn to her, but he couldn't take his eyes off of Lou and the animal that held her.

"Care for her first," Lou ordered. She could see how bad her baby girl needed him. Jimmy had to be there for her.

"Andrew why are you doing this? I don't understand." Tiffany cried. She couldn't believe that her own brother would have hurt Lily, but she saw it with her own eyes, why would he do that? "Andrew?"

"Tiff, shut the fuck up." Andrew warned. "Just shut up," He was trying to rack his brain on what to do.

Jimmy lowered his colt and crouched down to Lily who was on the floor next to Buck.

Jimmy gave Buck a look of question, to which Buck whispered not wanting to cause Lou any more worry. "Her arm is broken," Jimmy looked up to the ceiling trying to calm himself down.

After a couple of deep breaths Jimmy held his arms out for Lily and he carefully picked her up, careful to not hurt her any more than she already had been.

"Meme, awl," Lily cried as her good arm secured itself around his neck, while she cradled the sore one close to her body.

"I know sweetheart and I'm sorry." Jimmy told her as he kissed her forehead.

"Tiffany, Rachel, I want you to leave the room." Teaspoon said, while looking to Andrew seeing if he was going to challenge his request.

"Only if I can take Lily," Rachel said.

When Andrew didn't say anything Jimmy whispered to Lily that she was to go with Rachel. She was about to protest but Jimmy promised that when he came for her, he would take her to Tompkins for some sweets.

Lou watched as Jimmy gently placed Lily in Rachel's arms. "See the trouble you have caused. Such a stupid bitch for not keeping your mouth shut." He whispered as she put his face into her hair. "Fuck you smell good." He told her as he nipped at her ear.

Lou tried tuning him out. She couldn't allow him to get into her head. She had to stay strong for Lily.

As soon as the girls were out of the room, all calm pretences were gone as well

Jimmy could see Andrew had no weapon, but he did have Lou. And if he hurt her then it would kill them all faster than any bullet.

Cody pushed past everyone with his Hawken rifle raised and his eyes trained on Andrew. The barrel pressed up hard against the bastard's forehead.

"Release her, and you will walk out of here..." Cody spared a quick glance down to Lou. He knew the bastard would die, and he wanted Lou to know that to. "..today." he finished, making no promises for tomorrow.

Jimmy was thinking, 'yeah he can walk out, but I sure as shit will be riding out after him.'

"Look at your friends, you have them all fooled." Andrew whispered into Lou's ear. "We both know how much you enjoyed that night. I bet your 'grey back' never fucked you like I did." Cody tilted his head slightly trying to pick up on what Andrew was whispering into Lou's ear.

Andrew, seeing that Cody was straining himself decided to speak up for all to hear. "You know it's strange, I remember you weren't this quiet last time we met." Andrew said loud enough for everyone to hear. "Does she scream for you?" he taunted Jimmy.

"You ..." Teaspoon held Jimmy back. He knew Andrew's game. He didn't want Jimmy to fall for it.

"That's what I thought," Andrew said smugly. "You know dear brother in law, I think I may take you up on that offer, and walk out of here." Andrew started dragging Lou with him towards the door.

Teaspoon and the boys all adjusted their positions along with Andrew.

"I said release her, then you walk out." Cody told him.

"No, we will do it my way, or I kill her now." Andrew smiled as he wrapped a hand around Lou's slender neck.

Lou whimpered as the feel of his hand on her exposed skin, bought back many nightmares.

She stared into Jimmy's eyes, pleading with him to help her, to kill her monster. She didn't want him walking away from here. She didn't want to keep looking behind her back, living in fear.

Jimmy could see what Lou couldn't speak. He knew she was scared, he knew she wanted him to help her, and he knew that she wanted the monster dead.

But Jimmy also knew that couldn't happen, not here, not in this minute.

If Cody pulled the trigger, it would not only be Andrew who would get hurt, but Lou as well.

Jimmy shrugged Teaspoon's arms off of him, he didn't need restraining. Not yet any way.

Andrew started moving with Lou still tightly in his grasp. He wanted nothing more than to throw the tiny women on the back of his horse and make her his forever, but he knew that his chances of getting away were not good.

He would come back when his brother in law and his friends weren't watching.

Stepping outside, Cody, Jimmy, Buck and Teaspoon all kept a safe distance. They knew that Andrew wouldn't let her go until he was sure it was safe enough to do so. So the boys stayed back. Back enough to not spook Andrew, but close enough so they could still see Lou.

A noise from the house had Lou and Andrew look up at the window. There watching her mother being dragged away was little Lily.

"I will come back for you, you know that right?" he threw her to the ground much like he had with Lily. "I will kill you and take the girl. You won't even see me coming." Andrew promised as he jumped on his horse and rode of in the opposite direction from town.

Lou turned her back on her family as she stumbled away as fast as she could. She felt lost and disorientated. Her vision was becoming blurry as she fell to her knees.

She could hear her name being called but it sounded as if she was under water. A hand touched her back, and that was all it took.

Her stomach started convulsing as she emptied its contents on the ground in front of her.

Her body quivering with cold, fright, grief or all three, she couldn't tell.

"H-h-h-ee-e," she tried to say, "H-h-h-e-ee," why wasn't her mouth saying what was on the tip of her tongue? She wanted to scream, she wanted to cry, she wanted them to know what she was feeling.

The stabbing pain in her throat and the empty feeling in her heart were a dangerous combination. She couldn't think straight.

She could hear horse hooves thundering past her, and more voices. She tried to catch her breath but it wasn't coming fast enough.

"_Lou, come on sweetheart, you have to be a Mother now. You cannot fall apart when our sweet girl needs you,"_ A voice she knew as well as her own, whispered inside of her head. _"Lily needs you,"_ the familiar voice told her.

She shook her head as she was sure she was hearing Kid's voice. But now all she could hear was Teaspoon's.

"Just breathe sweetheart," Teaspoon's panicked voice finally came through loud and clear. Lou did as he asked and took some deep breaths in and out.

Her mind was becoming clearer, and her trauma of what had just happened was coming back to her.

"Lily?" She cried as she allowed Teaspoon to help her off of the ground.

"She's waiting for you inside sweetheart." Teaspoon told her as he steadied her before she took off running.

"Jimmy? The boys?" Lou looked around not seeing anyone but her and Teaspoon.

"Have gone after Andrew." He told Lou, wishing that they hadn't. They were too emotional to be riding out after anyone at the moment.

"Teaspoon I..." She was going to tell him that she heard Kid speak to her, but she didn't want to sound crazy, "I just want to see Lily."

Teaspoon smiled down at her, "Well then honey, let's go and see her."

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><p><strong>Jenna Thank you once again for being my second pair of eyes.<strong>


	8. Chapter 8

**I do not own the Young Riders**

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><p>Jimmy, Buck and Cody rode off in the same direction Andrew had, but by the time they saddled up and rode out, Andrew was long gone.<p>

Buck managed to track him as far as the river but lost the track on the other side.

With his army background Andrew obviously knew how to cover himself.

Jimmy couldn't accept that.

He couldn't bring himself to just turn his horse around to simply tell Lou that they had lost him.

He wanted to ride back and promise her that her monster would never return. He couldn't go back to her and tell her that she still had to live in fear, that she and Lily are still not safe.

"Jimmy, where are you going?" Cody asked as he and Buck had turned to head back to Rock Creek.

"I ain't going back empty handed."

"You cannot chase him Jimmy." Buck told him.

"I can, and I will."

"It could take weeks...months."

"Then that's what it takes." Jimmy told them as he headed out.

But he only got so far when a picture of Lou's scared face flashed in his eyes. He couldn't leave her, nor did he want to.

He pulled on the reins and looked out to the horizon. He knew that the bastard was out there, but he had to take care of Lou and Lily first.

They would always come first.

.

.

.

The boys headed straight to Doc Anderson's where Jenny, Rachel, Tiffany and Teaspoon were all waiting outside.

Tiffany was sitting off to the side of everyone else, and her head was down cast with her hands resting in her lap.

Cody frowned as he saw his new bride looking upset and isolated. He dismounted and walked over to her.

"Tiffany?" He asked,

"I'm so sorry Cody, I'm so sorry. I promise I didn't know he would hurt Lily or Lou." She cried as her arms flung around his neck.

"Of course you didn't Tiffany, no one is blaming you." Teaspoon said as he watched the young girl break down in Cody's arms.

"I feel like this is my fault. He is my brother I bought him into your lives." She continued to cry.

Although it was not Cody's story to tell he could not stand by and listen to his wife's cries of blame. It wasn't her fault. She is nothing like her brother.

"Tiffany, Lou knows your brother from..."

"Cody," Jimmy warned shaking his head no. How dare Cody air Lou's past like this.

"Jimmy everyone here has a right to know,"

"Agreed, but it isn't your place." Jimmy told him. "Tiffany all you need to know is that your brother already knew Lou. You didn't cause this."

Cody knew that Jimmy was worried about Lily and Lou, but he had better change his tone.

"Did he hurt them before?" Tiffany asked dreading what she was going to hear.

"In the worst possible way." Was all Jimmy told her before knocking on the Doc's door and letting himself in.

Jimmy looked into the small room to see that the Doc was wrapping what looked like wet bandages around Lily's arm. She had tears cascading down her small face.

"Hi sweetheart," Jimmy said softly walking closer to the bed. Lou turned around and looked up at him. Her lip was quivering and Jimmy saw she was trying hard to fight the tears.

"Meme," Lily cried as she looked over at him. She had thought that the monster had gotten him too when she couldn't see him anywhere.

"How you feeling?"

"I's a got an awl," Lily tried to sound brave, but just like her Mother she was about reading to cry.

Jimmy smiled sadly as he took a step closer. "You have baby girl. And for that I'm sorry." Jimmy told her smoothing her hair down with one hand, while the other found Lou's hand.

Lou smiled at the gesture, but she could feel his hand shaking. She looked up to him, to see his face was in pain.

He was standing there watching every move the Doc made. He looked despondent and forlorn.

Lou gripped his hand tighter. She didn't know what had him so disheartened.

"She's..." he shook his head. He didn't know what to say. It was like he was seeing Lily for the first time and he didn't know if he liked the feeling he was having.

How could he protect someone so small, so fragile? He didn't know if he could.

Lou felt Jimmy's hand shake even more. He was obviously struggling with something, so she decided to give him a job to do.

"Jimmy could you please ask Rachel if she could go and gather Lily a clean night gown." Lou asked as the Doctor was placing the last bandage around her wrist.

Jimmy nodded, thankful for the request, and went and asked Rachel for the new night gown, but Rachel being Rachel was already prepared, as she handed Jimmy the night gown she had collected earlier.

Jimmy took a minute to breathe in some fresh air before making his way back to his girls.

"Lily you have been so brave and really well behaved allowing me to see to your arm. Would you like a sweet?" The Doctor asked her, as Jimmy came in carrying the nightgown.

"Pwease," She smiled, holding her good hand out for the Doc to drop her candy in.

Lou stood up and grabbed the nightgown placing it on the bed beside Lily. She didn't know how she was going to do this. She didn't want to hurt Lily's arm any more than it had been.

"Just nice and gentle Mama," Said the Doc as he got on the other side of Lily. Together Lou and the Doctor raised the old dirty nightgown from Lily's body.

Lou grabbed the clean one, but stopped short when she heard Jimmy mutter something under his breath. She didn't dare ask him to repeat what he said, cos' by the tone she knew it wasn't something Lily would need to hear.

Lou simply looked at him to see he was looking at Lily. Lou turned to look at Lily and saw what Jimmy was angry about.

Lily had bruises around the top of one of her arms, and bruises on her hips, where the bastard had held her tight.

Lou nodded her head, and kissed Lily's forehead. Her eyes closed as she promised silently that Lily would never hurt like that again.

"I'm sorry Lily," Lou whispered as she started to place the night gown over Lily's head.

Lou looked over Lily's head at the Doctor. He knew what she was silently asking as her tear filled eyes looked at him.

"She will be just fine." He tried to reassure the worried Mother.

"Meme," Lily said with her good arm raised above her head. She wanted Jimmy to carry her, and he wasn't about to turn her down, but he was worried that he would hurt her.

He stalled before he got to Lily. "Are you sure you don't want Mama to carry you?"

"NO Meme do it." Lily cried.

Jimmy looked to Lou, panic in his eyes. He didn't think it was such a good idea. "Ah Lily it might be better if your Mama held you baby." He was scared to hold her.

He was trying his best to not look down at her. The reminder of how fragile she is staring back at him.

Lily started to cry. She didn't know what she had done wrong. She didn't understand why Meme didn't want her.

"Jimmy what is wrong with you?" Lou scorned.

"I'm scared I'm going to hurt her." Lou's face softened as Jimmy admitted what he was thinking.

"You won't." Lou told him.

"Meme, pwease...I needs up."

Jimmy needing no other words reached out and picked her up from the bed. Carefully he adjusted her until they were both comfortable.

Lou stood up beside him and placed a reassuring hand on his back. She knew that her daughter was in safe hands.

"You ready to go?" Jimmy asked Lou. He wanted to go home. He wanted to be around familiar settings. He wanted to make sure he was able to protect his girls if the threat was there.

"More than ready." Lou sighed. Her head was aching, and her arms were sore. She no doubt had the same bruising on her own body where Andrew had grabbed a hold of her.

Jimmy walked out while Lou thanked the Doc.

He carried Lily as carefully as he could back to the bunkhouse. Rachel was waiting for them, and smiled sadly as the pair made their way in the door.

"We're home Lily, do you..." Jimmy started but Rachel interrupted.

"Jimmy, she's sound asleep." Rachel told him as she stood in front of them both.

"She can't be, she was only awake a minute ago," Jimmy stressed hoping that everything was alright with Lily. Maybe it was too early to be heading home. Maybe she needed to stay so the Doc can keep an eye on her.

"She's had a pretty eventful day. Sleep is the best thing for her." Rachel promised as she walked down the steps and out of Jimmy's way.

Jimmy went over to where Lily and Lou slept. He lowered Lily as carefully as he could on to the bed. When his grip was free of her, Lily let out a small whimper.

Panic surged through Jimmy once again. He was seriously thinking that the Doc had missed something.

"She's sore Jimmy, it's to be expected." Lou told him as she came up to the bed and pulled Lily's blankets up over her shoulders.

"Are you alright?" Lou asked Jimmy turning around to look at him.

Jimmy huffed, "Am I alright?" He asked in mock amusement. "Shouldn't I be asking you that?"

"I asked you first," Lou told him. Obviously she was far from alright, but she was worried about how Jimmy was acting.

Jimmy looked down to Lily and then to Lou. He came so close to losing them both.

"I was scared today." He told her honestly. "Lily on his knee, you inches in front of him...I have never felt so useless." Lou didn't know what to say, so she said nothing. "She's so little Lou. She is so breakable, I didn't realise that until today."

"She's getting bigger Jimmy,"

"She seemed smaller today."

Lou wasn't going to argue with him, as she had thought the same thing. Tired, sore and feeling her headache coming on stronger, Lou walked over to grab a cup of water.

"I need to talk to the boys, are you going to be..." Jimmy started,

"I'll be fine Jimmy. I might try and get some rest too."

"I will only be across that yard Lou. You call me if you need me."

Lou nodded as Jimmy walked up and grabbed her shoulders, pulling her in closer while his head leant in and kissed her on the forehead.

Lou wanted to grab him and just have him hold her. She missed the comfort of a lover, and a friend. But instead she let him walk out of the bunkhouse.

Lou placed her cup down and went over to her trunk wanting to change her clothes.

Rummaging through her things her hand found the small envelope that had sat in the bottom of her trunk for many weeks.

Quickly she pulled her hand back as if it had burnt her. She took a step back from the trunk not knowing what it is she should do.

She looked over to Lily, wondering if she owed it to her daughter to read the letter.

With a hesitant step Lou reached in and pulled the small white envelope from the trunk.

Her fingers glided over Kid's elegant black script of her name that was written on the front. A small smile graced her lips as she thought of her Kid.

She sat down in a chair closest to Lily and pulled the letter out of the envelope and unfolding it carefully.

_My Dearest Louise,_

_It has been a week since I left you alone in our bed, and yet it already feels like an eternity._

_I had a dream last night where you and I were sitting beside a lake, perhaps our lake. You know the one, back in Sweetwater. We danced in the middle of the day. Our bodies connected under the cool water._

_I wish we could go back there. I swear I can close my eyes and I can almost feel your soft skin under my finger tips. I don't think I ever told you enough, just how beautiful you are. _

_In my dream we were hand in hand, the sun was shining as bright as I remember it had when we were there. A small child was giggling as they splashed their feet at the shore._

_Lou, how I wish that wasn't a dream but more of a reality..._

Lou let the letter drop into her lap. She could not read any more, she wasn't as ready as she thought she was.

Lily's soft snores the only sound around her.

Kid's words hurt her more so than what she thought they would. Or maybe it was just the letter itself.

Lou had put off reading the letter that had accompanied Teaspoon's. In fact the whole idea of that letter angered her.

She imagined Kid sitting there writing the damn thing. He pictured a child, he thought about their dancing and he told her she was beautiful. Lou just wanted him home.

She waited and she waited for him to come back to her. She prayed for him at night, and she stayed in that place for him so he knew where she was.

She spent years alone, scared, hurt and feeling isolated. While he fought in a war that he knew he wasn't coming back from.

Lily let out a small whimper as she tossed in her sleep.

"_I don't think I ever told you enough, just how beautiful you are." _

"Then why didn't you choose me over the war?" Lou asked out loud to no one.

She was angry.

She knew Kid loved her, as she loved him, but Lou couldn't help but feel as if it wasn't the kind of love she'd dreamed about.

Lou hoped that if a man ever loved her he would choose her over any war or any one.

The sound of someone coming up to the bunkhouse had Lou quickly picking up the letter and folding it, placing it into her pocket.

"How's she doing?" Rachel asked quietly, peeking over to the bed Lily was on seeing if she was still asleep.

"She hasn't woken yet, but I'm not worried. I think her wee body needs the rest." Lou told Rachel as she walked over to sit on the bed next to her baby girl.

"I'm more worried about her dreams." Lou stressed as she rubbed her sore head with the palm of her hand.

"We will just have to fill her mind with happy thoughts to get rid of the bad." Rachel told her. "You alright?" She asked, as she noticed Lou's discomfort.

"Headache." Lou offered not wanting to talk about it. "Where are the boys?"

"Chopping wood."

"All of them?"

"Mmm hmm. None of them want to travel too far away from you or Lily. Teaspoon has taken Tiffany to gather some of her things. She is going to come live here. She and Cody will stay in the house." Rachel told Lou as she busied herself around the bunkhouse.

"Shouldn't have Cody gone with her? I mean he is her husband and all."

"Teaspoon didn't think it was a good idea with the mood Cody is in. He's about to tear Tiffany's family to pieces."

"I've ruined everything." Lou cried.

"Oh no honey don't you be thinking that. None of this is your fault."

"I should have kept my mouth shut Rachel. He warned me to keep my mouth shut. He warned me what he would do if I didn't. He warned me Rachel, and I did exactly what he told me not to do."

Rachel didn't know what to say and for that Lou was grateful as she didn't want to hear how she had done the right thing. Lou knew she hadn't done the right thing. Lily's broken arm was evidence for that.

"Mama," Lily said sleepily.

"Hello Princess." Lou smiled, as she wiped her face free of any tears.

"What's a pi...a pinscess?" Lily asked rubbing the sleep from her eyes.

"Well, a **P-r-i-n-**cess is..." Lou begun thinking no time like the present to start on those happy memories, and filling her daughters mind with fairy tales.

Fairy tales where sweet little girls were all princesses who are surrounded by people who loved her more than their own lives. And because of that love the forces of evil would not be able to touch the princess.

Lou did not tell a story of a handsome Prince, she told her of Knights in shining armour. Men whom hearts are true and would protect the princess with everything they had. Lou told her of a family so tight that although they were not invincible they were blessed.

"Am I da Princess?" Lily asked hopefully.

"You are Lily." Lily smiled knowing that she was the most loved. She also knew that Meme was her knight.

"Meme?"

"You want to see Jimmy?"

"Yes Mama."

Lily kicked the blankets from her body and sat in her Mother's lap. She wrapped her good arm around her Mother's neck, while Lou wrapped her arms around her daughter.

She held her tight and kissed her head as many times as she could while she stood from the bed, though with her headache and her lack of food Lou fell backwards back onto the bed. Luckily she didn't lose her grip on Lily, and before Rachel begun to worry Lou laughed it off. "Silly Mama," she joked before successfully getting off the bed.

"How bout I fix you girls something to eat? I know you must be very hungry." Rachel said while pointedly looking at Lou.

"We would like that wouldn't we Lily?"

"Pwease," Lily said nodding her head.

.

.

Outside the boys finally sat on a log of wood happy that their anger had died down enough to be around people again.

Before they all came out to cut wood they were all wound up so tight. Without thinking, or expressing what they needed to do, they all found themselves at the wood pile and an axe in their hands.

The sound of the bunkhouse door opening had them all look up to see Lou and Lily walking their way.

"Every time I look at them I think of him." Jimmy hissed under his breath to his brothers. "I want him dead."

"Jimmy you aren't the only one. But we can't go looking for him."

"We can't sit here and wait for him to turn up here." Jimmy seethed. He wanted nothing more right now, to ride out of here and not return until he knew for sure that that monster was six feet under.

"Like I said earlier, you can't leave the girls. It would break their hearts. You have to stay by their sides and just be aware." Buck got out before Lou and Lily got close enough to hear.

"Meme," Lily giggled as she struggled out of her Mother's arms.

Lou realising she was fighting a losing battle, placed Lily on the ground. Lou looked to the massive pile of chopped wood and shook her head.

"Well we're going to be good for winter."

"You can never be to prepared, Lou," Cody offered.

"Maybe so, but you do realise that we are going to be at the new place by winter. Ya'll are going to have to haul all of this over there."

Lou tried to keep the smile off of her face as all three boys looked at each other wondering why they hadn't thought about that.

Lou went to sit on one of the big logs that hadn't been touched. Her head was still sore and with the glare of being outside her eyes were starting to hurt also.

"What's the plan?" She asked knowing that the boys had been strategizing while they chopped wood.

"Still figuring that out honey." Jimmy told her.

"Ok," Lou smiled at him. She was trying to sound calm and reassured that the boys were on top of this, but inside she was a big old mess. Her insides felt twisted and confused.

She had no idea what it was she was meant to do. Parts of her felt like riding out after the bastard, tracking him down first, making him feel like the prey instead of the predator.

Then other parts of her want to snatch Lily up and go into hiding. She was beyond frightened and she didn't know if her mind and body could take another run in with her monster.

And then there was the fact that so many people now knew what it is she had been through. And yes Lou knew it was not her fault, but it was she that carried the scars, the shame and the embarrassment.

"He won't get past us, not again Lou." Cody told Lou, breaking her away from her thoughts.

Lou just nodded. She did not believe that Andrew wouldn't find a way to get to her. But she was too exhausted to discuss this at the moment.

She listened as the boys talked about how many trips they think it would take to haul the wood to the new place. She started to rub circles on her temples, wishing that her headache would just go away.

All that crying and stress had really worn her down. She hoped Jimmy could watch Lily for a bit while.

She stood up and went to talk, but her vision was blurry and her speech wasn't coming out as quick or as clear as she wanted it to.

"I ah..." Lou turned her head to look to the bunkhouse. It was on the tip of her tongue to say she needed to lie down, but the words were not coming. "...I...ah...I..."

"Lou?" Buck questioned as he shot up from his log and reached her as her legs gave way.

"Mama!" Lily cried as Buck swept Lou up in his arms.

"Lily can you go to Cody?" Jimmy asked her, but she shook her wee head. She was scared and she wanted Meme's arms not Tody's.

"I'm alright," Lou said as she tried to find her feet. She was tired, hungry and her head was pounding. "I think everything is catching up to me." She offered as an excuse. She kept a hold of Buck's arm until she was positive that she was good to stand on her own two feet.

The sound of the buckboard arriving had Lou looking over her shoulder. "Tiffany's here, why don't you go help her and Teaspoon, while I go lay down for a bit?"

Jimmy walked up to her, with Lily still in his arms. He leant down and whispered to her, "You sure you're ok?"

Lou looked up into his questioning eyes. He was searching her face for any clue that she wasn't alright, while she was trying hard not to give too much away.

His head tilted, and his eyebrows raised, he wasn't buying anything. Lou deciding that she couldn't lie to him relaxed and told him what she was thinking.

"Maybe you could come lay down with me. Or just be in the bunkhouse while I sleep."

Jimmy straightened up, happy that she needed him that she obviously felt safe with him, saddened that she was struggling with feeling safe.

Jimmy nodded his head and let Lou lead the way. Rachel was waiting outside of the bunkhouse and Jimmy asked Lily if she would mind going with her. Lou begun to protest but Buck and Cody both swore they wouldn't leave their side.

"Ok," Lou told them reluctantly.

Jimmy pulled the curtains trying his best to block out the afternoon sun, while Lou took her boots off and stripped down to her Chemise.

Jimmy stripped himself down and climbed into bed after Lou. He took her in his arms and held her close.

Jimmy felt her body shake with sobs before her heard the small sound of her crying.

"Lou?"

"He knew he was going to die. If he didn't then why did he leave a letter?" Lou cried. "He left me, he knew he was going to die and he just left me." She sobbed. "He should have been home being a husband. He should have been there to protect me, to protect Lily."

Jimmy swallowed thickly. He too had, had those thoughts about Kid.

"Lou honey, the Kid loved you, and I know he would have loved Lily."

"He didn't love me enough to choose me over that god damn war."

"He did what he thought was right. He fought for his heritage and his family."

"I was his family too,"

"I know honey, but you know the Kid, when he gets his mind set on something..."

"I know, but it hurt

* * *

><p>s. I feel like I wasn't enough to keep him. Maybe if I was a better wife he wouldn't have gone back..."<p>

"No Lou, it wasn't you that scared him away. If I know anything I know Kid would have struggled with the decision about going back. But when it comes down to it Kid wouldn't have been able to live with himself if he became a deserter. And I know deep down you wouldn't have wanted that either."

Lou's body shook as she wailed out loud, "No I wouldn't have wanted that. But I didn't want to be raped either. I didn't want to be left alone in that house, and I didn't want that monster to come in and hurt me, threaten Lily. I didn't want that."

Jimmy's grip tightened on her, he didn't want that either. He wouldn't wish that upon any woman, but especially Lou.

"I know honey and it kills me to know that he wasn't there, or I wasn't there to stop that from happening. I swear no one, especially Kid would have wanted that to have happened to you, let alone happen twice."

"I want to wake up in the mornings and not feel sad. I want to feel loved, I want to feel worthy of being loved."

"I could tell you how much we all love you, how much I love you but it wouldn't do you any good. You have to love yourself first." Jimmy kissed the back of Lou's head. "You have to open your eyes and see that you are a wonderful Mother. You have to see Lily loves you, depends on you and looks up to you."

Lou continued to cry. She knew that Jimmy was right, but she was in no state to listen to reason. She just cried herself to sleep while Jimmy kept her safe in his arms.

He didn't once close his eyes. He just lay there knowing that she was safe, and he listened to the voices outside, one in particular.

Lily was outside busy telling Cody that Jimmy was her knight and she was a princess. Jimmy shook her head wondering who filled the wee girl with fairytales, and wondering if Lou knew.

**A big Thank You once again to the lovely Jenna. I really do appreciate you. A hot Jimmy pic coming your way:) **


	9. Chapter 9

**I do not own the Young Riders.**

**I am so sorry my slack ass has taken so long to get this story updated, well this one and the others. I have no excuse other than I cannot multi task, never have never will. I have been busy in RL and have had no time for my writing. I hope I can find a balance between the two soon as I miss my riders.**

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><p>Days rolled into weeks and finally after what felt like a small life time, Teaspoon and the boys deemed the new property fit for the family to move.<p>

They still had not bought any horses, nor had they seen about any cattle, but Teaspoon tried to reassure the young folk that it will happen, that these things take time.

Of course Lou had a feeling it was more, than just having to wait for the right time.

To get horses and cattle, she knew that the boys would have to go on a drive. She also knew that could take weeks.

She also knew that there was no way that they would leave for that long, and while she wanted to feel guilty for that, as she was the reason that they were sticking close, she didn't.

Lou had become more reliant on those around her. She has taken a step back from everything, for she feels there is no other option. It was not the time for her to feel brave or ashamed to ask for help.

She knew that help was exactly what she needed.

Once again she is back to hiding in the shadows, never venturing far from home. No, she did not want to live in fear, but she also had Lily to consider. She thought that if she lived in fear that she would become better at sensing her surroundings.

Lou had sworn to herself that she would never put herself or Lily in a situation that could be fatal for them both. Lou had a sick feeling in the bottom of her gut that Andrew was not after a wife, or a body to lay with, he was after blood.

And if it was blood that he wanted, she knew that he would not blink twice at those that stood in his way.

.

.

.

.

Lou and Tiffany were cleaning out the bunkhouse and placing the things that they were moving to the new place in a pile in the corner.

Lou reached out and took the linen off of her bed. She couldn't help but smile, thinking that bed had become her favourite time of the day.

Since the day after the wedding Jimmy had become a regular in her bed. At first she liked the safety that another body next to her made her feel. But she had come to see that not only was it the safety but the person as well.

Lou was finding that she was looking at Jimmy with new eyes. She couldn't deny or ignore her body's reaction to him when he was near.

As days went on it was becoming more and more difficult for her to ignore the desire that rose up her body when Jimmy's body slid in behind her, his secure arms pulling her in close to his body, and his sweet breath tickling her ear.

Her feelings towards him were definitely changing, and it scared her. She wanted to let Jimmy in, but if she allowed herself to do so, he was just someone else that could be taken from her.

But she could not help nor deny that Jimmy was indeed claiming her heart. She kept coming up with reasons why Jimmy would be better off without her, why he couldn't possibly return her love and that she was wasting her time thinking that he could possibly turn into anything more than friendship.

But the whole idea was keeping her sane. Just the idea of not being alone in the future, to have someone to care about and love her made Lou feel hope that all was going to work out.

Over the last day or so Lou had been thinking strongly about giving her house up to Tiffany and Cody. After all it was because of her that Tiffany's Father and Mother had taken back their offer of gifting them a house and land.

She knew that Tiffany did not blame her, but Lou felt guilty any way. There was no way that she could stay in the house knowing Tiffany and Cody, a young married couple, were going to be sharing a bunkhouse with Jimmy and Buck. It wasn't fare.

Well that and the fact that Lou didn't want to think about moving into a house on her own. She had tried that but it only ended badly for her. She didn't like that she was going to be alone again. And she didn't like the fact that Andrew had not been seen or heard of.

"What has you so deep in thought Louise?" Tiffany smiled as she came over to help Lou with the linen. Lou began to shake her head and try and dismiss anything was up, but she soon realised that was stupid. She was sick to her stomach thinking of being in that house by herself she had to say something before it was too late.

Lou turned to look at her friend. "Tiffany I want you and Cody to take the house."

"No," Tiffany said out right, staring at Lou with a furrowed expression. "I'm sorry Louise but I just can't do that. It was built for you and Lily in mind, not Cody and I. I wouldn't feel right in taking that from you. I won't take it from you."

"Tiffany it isn't taking if I am offering it to you. Please you can't tell me you dreamt of spending your early married days sharing a room with two other men, did you?" Lou saw a hint of a grimace on Tiffany's beautiful face, so she knew that was indeed not what Tiffany had in mind. And Lou couldn't blame her.

"I still won't do it Lou." Tiffany said finally turning back to start cleaning the floors.

"Tiffany please, you and Cody are a young married couple. I am begging you to take the cottage."

"We can't Lou. That is yours and Lily's. I won't take that from the two of you." Lou didn't know what it was but there was a look in Tiffany's eye that had Lou thinking that there was something else that was stopping Tiffany to take up Lou's offer.

Lou continued to fold linen, while she racked her brain wondering what else it could be. She was hoping that Tiffany would have accepted her offer easily. Lou didn't want to face the real reason why she would rather remain in the bunkhouse.

"I hope you're not turning the offer down because you feel guilty." Lou asked suddenly, causing Tiffany to halt in her cleaning and look over to Lou guilty.

"Lou I won't lie. What my brother did to you….I can't even begin to tell you how sick that makes me feel." Tiffany placed a hand over her stomach. "I just…"

"It wasn't you Tiffany. I promise you I don't think ill of you for his doings." Lou stressed, "I am asking you and Cody to take the cottage because I love you both. You deserve the space and the privacy a young couple need. Please let me do this for you." Lou could see Tiffany's face soften.

"Do what?"

Lou turned around to see Cody in the door way. She smiled brightly when she saw Cody's face light up when he looked over his bride, confirming that this was the right thing to do.

"It has been decided that you and Tiffany will have the cottage." Lou stated, thinking she had left no room for an argument.

"Lou, no." Cody protested sternly.

"I'm sorry. I said it had been decided, meaning it is no longer up for discussion."

"Lou."

"Cody."

"Lou."

"Cody."

"Mama!"

"Lily sweetheart,"

"Tody," Lily giggled looking up at him. Cody could never resist pulling a face for her, especially when he knew that he was going to be rewarded with one of her little giggles.

Lou turned to look in time to see Cody's face of the day. She couldn't help but smile at him either.

"Mama, Tody dilly," Lily giggled.

"Yes Lily he is very silly." Lou picked Lily up and wrapped her arms around her wee girl. Lily in return wrapped her arms around her Mother's neck. "I missed you baby girl, did you have a nice ride?" Lou asked her daughter looking towards the door where Jimmy stood protectively looking over her and Lily. Lou's heart fluttered as she smiled up at him.

"I saw a butterbye." Lily stated, gaining her Mother's attention once again.

Lou pulled back so she could see Lily's face. She widened her eyes and tried to look completely shocked.

"You saw a butterfly?" Lou asked in amazement.

"Mmmhmm, a butterbye, a purdy butterbye." Lou tried to contain her laughter as she smiled at Lily. "Lily you are so lucky." Lou said as she kissed her check.

"Meme saw it too." Lily told her mother.

Lou looked up at Jimmy again and smiled kindly at him. "Well then Jimmy is lucky too." Lily obviously liked that answer cos she squirmed out of her Mother's arms and ran over to jump into Jimmy's.

"Mama says your 'ucky too." Lily told him sweetly.

"I say Jimmy is very 'ucky," Cody agreed smirking at his friend walking up to him and slapping him on his back.

"Watch yourself." Jimmy whispered under his breath, thinking Cody was making fun of him when he was not able to stand up for himself properly.

"Tell me Jimmy, has Lou told you about her giving up the cottage?" Cody asked while he looked to a pissed off Lou.

Jimmy looked up to see Lou staring daggers at Cody. He was shocked that she would do that. He wanted her and Lily to have the cottage. He wanted them to have the nice new house. He didn't want them in the bunkhouse. It was no place for them.

"Cody." Lou snapped. She had told him that it was not up for discussion. She was adamant that the cottage was Cody and Tiffany's. She did not want to hear any more about it.

Lou chanced a look at Jimmy to see he was staring back at her confused. She knew that she was going to have to tell them the other reason why she did not want the cottage, if they were going to let it be.

"Tiffany can you please take Lily to help Buck and Teaspoon in the barn." Lou asked. She didn't mind Tiffany knowing the other reason but she did not want her daughter to know. Of course Lou knew that Lily would not understand a word she said, but she still did not want her to hear her admition.

"Of course," Tiffany answered walking over to Jimmy and holding her arms out for Lily. "Come on sweetheart. Let's see what Uncle Buck is up too." Lily didn't question it she loved her Uncle Buck. So she held her arms out and settled herself on Tiffany's hip. "My goodness Lily, you are getting to be such a big girl." Tiffany told her as she tried looking strained at holding her.

"I am, you know." Lily told Tiffany seriously as they walked out of the bunkhouse.

"I really do want you and Tiffany to have the cottage Cody. You are newlyweds. You were promised a house…"

"Not by you Lou."

"I know Cody, but it is my fault that Tiffany's parents have disowned you and her."

"It sure as hell ain't your fault, so don't you dare feel guilty for that." Cody snapped, but Lou knew that Cody's anger was not directed at her.

She was so angry at herself when she realised that she would have to give them her reason. Once again she was coming across weak. It infuriated her, and she wished that sometimes she could be confident in herself and with her life.

"I want to sleep in the new bunkhouse, with Buck and Jimmy." Lou admitted. "I don't want to sleep alone in a house by myself, not with him out there." Once again fuelling her anger, but also adding to her embarrassment.

Jimmy and Cody shared a quick glance at each other. Lou looked down at the ground, both embarrassed what more she was going to share and scared that once she said it she may lose her friend.

"I…I feel safer when I'm with Jimmy." Lou whispered quietly, still looking at the ground.

Cody was first to react by squeezing Jimmy on the shoulder and walking out of the bunkhouse. He could see Lou was uncomfortable, and he knew that this was not going to be a conversation that he would be part of.

"Lou," Jimmy took a step closer to her wishing that she would look up at him. He didn't know why she was hiding her face and he could only put it down to shame.

He reached out and grabbed her chin raising it and making her look up at him. "Don't you be ashamed to need someone. You have every reason to be scared, every reason to want to feel safe." He looked into her big brown eyes, "But honey you don't have to give up your house to feel that. Me and the boys will only be next door from you. We will not…"

"It's not close enough." Lou quickly admitted, "The last few nights, with you lying next to me…" Lou started not being able to finish. But when Jimmy was at a loss of what to say, how to respond she continued.

"Knowing you were beside me…it made my nights bearable. I have been so scared for so long I'm not even sure if I have slept over these past years. I felt that if I let my guard down then he would come. He would come and take Lily." Lou cried. "I know I have no right to put that pressure on you. I have no right to ask you to be that protection for me, for Lily." Lou continued to cry feeling more and more stupid and vulnerable. Why wasn't Jimmy saying anything?

"I mean I don't even know how you feel. I don't know if you have someone you want to be there for. You have to tell me if I am keeping you back. I ask so much of you and the others, I would hate to think I was holding you back." Lou couldn't stop ranting. She didn't even know what she was saying, and she wasn't the only one.

"I know I shouldn't even feel that way about anyone. I ah…I know it will be hard for anyone to want to be that way with me, especially since you know what happened." Lou whimpered. Maybe that was why Jimmy wasn't saying anything. He was disgusted with her. "I'm used. The things that…I'm disgusting…" Lou cried out.

"Hey, I don't want to hear that. Not from you." Jimmy growled.

"Why won't you say anything?"

"Because, I don't know what you are saying." Jimmy told her. He had no clue to what it was she was asking. "You want me to sleep in the same bed as you, but you don't want to hold me back from other woman…"

Lou looked up at the ceiling willing her tears to disappear. She was feeling foolish, and she was scared that if she told Jimmy exactly what she was thinking she was going to be rejected.

Looking back to Jimmy she could see he was confused and concerned.

"My feelings are changing for you Jimmy." She blurted out.

"Because I make you feel safe?"

"That's one reason, but there are others."

"Can I hear them?" Jimmy asked, not meaning for it to sound as cold as it did.

Lou flinched slightly suddenly feeling really stupid and very exposed. "I'm sorry…I shouldn't have said…" Lou tried to run from Jimmy but he was quick, and grabbed a hold of her.

"Don't run, just talk to me and tell me what is going on."

"You make me smile just by hearing your name. I trust you with myself and with my daughter. I know that doesn't sound like much, but it is everything for me. You are passionate, strong, kind, considerate and sweet. Your arms….," Lou closed her eyes lost in the memory, "When you have fallen asleep, tighten around me, making me feel safe, wanted…even loved."

Lou couldn't back track now, even if she wanted too. She had not planned for all of this to come out. Not now, not ever.

"I'm falling for you." She breathed out as if it was a relief to finally get it out there.

* * *

><p><strong>To the girls on G+ I miss you all. I promise to try and get my shit together and find that balance and catch up <strong>


	10. Chapter 10

**I do not own the Young Riders**

**Finally an update I have been on holiday and was able to take some time out and do some writing. I am so sorry with my lack of updates, I really am. So for those who are still sticking with me I hope you enjoy, though it's going to be a bumpy one. xx**

_Last chapter_

"_You make me smile just by hearing your name. I trust you with myself and with my daughter. I know that doesn't sound like much, but it is everything for me. You are passionate, strong, kind, considerate and sweet. Your arms….," Lou closed her eyes lost in the memory, "When you have fallen asleep, tighten around me, making me feel safe, wanted…even loved." _

_Lou couldn't back track now, even if she wanted too. She had not planned for all of this to come out. Not now, not ever. _

"_I'm falling for you." She breathed out as if it was a relief to finally get it out there._

.

.

.

Jimmy stood stock still hoping like hell he had heard rightly.

Lou was falling for him.

He had been falling in love with her since the moment he had seen her again, and here she was finally admitting what he had longed to hear for what felt like an eternity.

He watched her become nervous and unsure of herself and before he had a chance to question the sudden mood change, he realised he had not yet answered her.

Taking a bold step forward he raised his arms and grabbed her face within his hands. He felt his face soften and he begun to smile, his thumbs caressed the soft skin of her cheeks before he leant in and captured her mouth with his.

Lou's lips sat still and frozen against his at first, shock taking over her but she couldn't deny that Jimmy was sparking some light inside of her; she couldn't resist how good he felt, how good he made her feel.

Jimmy's arms wrapped securely and lovingly around her. She could feel his strong hands resting on her back, his hard chest pressed up against her soft one.

Their feet were moving in their own dance, as he bought his hands back to her face. He held her delicately in his hands. His fingers stroking her cheeks once again as his mouth still held hers capture.

Once Lou realised this was Jimmy's way of answering her, she relaxed and started kissing him back with just as much force.

It felt like they had been there for hours, but it was more like a few minutes when Lou realised just how quickly this was moving.

She hadn't been touched like this in so long; her whole body was on fire as Jimmy's hands were now moving all over her body.

"We have to stop," Lou breathed as she pulled her mouth from Jimmy's. Jimmy how ever let his lips kiss their way down her jaw and to her slender neck.

"I don't think I can," he mumbled against her skin.

"I need to do this slowly Jimmy. I have Lily to think about and I have a lot of demons to rid myself of," She told him honestly.

"You don't have to rid of them alone." Jimmy told her seriously, "And Lily loves me, I'm sure she will be ok with this." He smiled.

"Lily does love you, that's why we have to take this slow. Jimmy you are the only father she will ever know, I can't rush into this and set her hopes up before we know we can make this work." Lou rasped feeling breathless.

"I love you Lou, please let me love you," He whispered as his hands once again took hold of her face so he could kiss her sweet lips once again.

Lou moaned out loud, she wanted nothing more for this to go further, but her mind couldn't help but go back to the last time a man had been there. She knew that Jimmy would never hurt her physically, but the fear was still there.

She needed Jimmy, but she needed him in baby steps.

"Jimmy please…" Lou moaned hoping he knew what it was she was begging for.

Jimmy was not going to deny that he hated that he had to stop. He has imagined kissing Lou for some time now, and now that he has it was ten times better than his imagination could ever pretend it was.

But Jimmy knew that Lou had to do this her way, and so would he. He would give her what she needed and when.

Pulling back he kissed her on the forehead, "We'll take this slow," he agreed.

Lou beamed up at him, she hadn't felt this happy or this giddy in sometime.

"Are you two done?" Cody enquired as he knocked loudly on the door. Lou laughed while Jimmy rolled his eyes.

.

.

It took them all two full days to get everything moved over and unpacked. Tiffany and Cody, although grateful for the cottage, kept trying to get Lou to change her mind. But Lou wouldn't have it.

She was happy to be in the new bunkhouse with Jimmy and Buck.

Lou had been sleeping with Lily in her bed for so long now it was becoming a challenge to try and get her daughter back in her own bed.

Lily had cried and she had cried, but Lou was staying strong and kept insisting that she needed to do this.

So still on her third night she was trying everything she could to keep the wee girl in her own bed. Lou was tired and she was grumpy, which was not helping the situation at all.

"Lily please sweetheart, if you stay in your bed like a big girl then Mama will take you to get a bag of your favourite sweets tomorrow." Lou finally bargained.

Lily hiccupped as she considered her Mothers words.

"Da..'ellow… ones?" Lily asked,

"Yes the yellow ones. " Lou promised. "Now please lye back Lily," Lou pulled the blanket up and over Lily tucking her in on both sides, "And get some sleep. I'm going to bed to, I'm going to right next to you," Lou reassured her daughter.

"Meme?" Lily questioned as she looked over to where his cot sat, seeing it was empty.

"Jimmy is busy helping Buck, he will be in soon." Lou told her and kissed her goodnight.

Lou slipped out of her dress and slipped into her nightgown before dimming the lamp. It was a sign to let Buck and Jimmy know that it was alright to come into the bunkhouse.

Jimmy came in alone. After he changed he got in the bed with Lou and wrapped his arms around her. Lou let her body melt into his. Her strength in taking their relationship slow was fading quickly.

"She's asleep," Jimmy smiled into Lou's ear.

"I promised sweets," Lou laughed, "But I do think she is getting use to her bed."

"I do to. It only took an hour tonight," he pointed out. The night before Lily was awake for half the night.

"You and Buck must regret letting Lily and I move in here."

"We regret nothing of the sort," Jimmy whispered in her ear as his hands glided up her thighs pushing her nightgown further up her body.

She loved the feel of his big rough hands gently caressing parts of her body. His lips nibbled at her ear and his legs tangled with hers.

"I could never do this with Cody," Jimmy laughed as he ghosted his fingers under her breasts.

Lou's breathing hitched, but she didn't stop him.

She was falling in love with him every minute of the day but at night in felt like he owned a new part of her heart every other second.

Jimmy caressed her breasts with the palms of his hands as his thumbs feathered over her nipples. He moaned at the feel of them hardening under his touch.

Lou let her head fall back onto his shoulder. She never imagined her breasts giving her pleasure, but what Jimmy was doing sent a searing hot need to her core.

Jimmy smiled into Lou's hair. He could tell Lou loved what he was doing to her and he loved that she trusted him with her body. He wouldn't take it further than that tonight, but they both fell asleep with smiles on their faces.

.

.

"You girls have a good day," Jimmy told them as he lifted Lily up onto the buckboard next to Rachel.

"You to, and good luck with the cattle," Lou smiled flinging her arms around Jimmy's neck and kissing him goodbye.

Jimmy wrapped his arms around Lou lifting her so her feet were only just dangling off of the ground. He spun her around kissing her deeply before placing her back on her feet.

A small giggle was heard from the buckboard. Both Jimmy and Lou looked up to see Lily with her wee hand over her mouth while she giggled behind it.

"You think that's funny do you little miss?" Lou asked reaching out to tickle her tummy. Lily was too giggly to answer but nodded her head yes.

Rachel, Jimmy and Lou all laughed with her while saying their goodbyes.

Cody and Jimmy were going to see about some cattle they had been unsuccessful yesterday so all fingers were crossed for today, while Lou and Rachel headed into Rock Creek.

.

.

Rachel, Lou and Lily arrived in Rock Creek and set off to get all their jobs done. They were hoping to get what they needed and then visit with Teaspoon and Buck at the Marshall's office before they headed back.

"Lou, will you and Lily be alright if I just head over to Betsy's? I really need some yarn for…"

"Of course Rachel, Lily and I will go and see if there is any mail for us, and then visit Teaspoon."

"Alright love, I will meet you both there." Rachel smiled. She was so happy Lou had not been hiding herself away. After everything that had happened to the poor girl, she was amazed at the strength that she was showing.

Lou held Lily's small hand and together they made their way to the telegraph post. Lou smiled down at her daughter who skipped her small legs.

"Lily you were such a good girl last night for staying in your bed, Mama is very proud of you." She smiled at her daughter when she saw that her words of praise made Lily's face light up with pride for herself.

"I's a get a sweetie?" Lily asked.

"Yes baby you do," Lou laughed leaning down to kiss the top of Lily's head. "But first let's go and see if we have any mail to collect."

"Ok Mama,"

Lou and Lily skipped all the way to the telegraph post, laughing and giggling as they did so. Once there Lou requested the mail from Henry, who was usually very polite and very chatty, but today, seemed to throw the small bundle of letters on the counter in front of Lou before turning his back on her.

"Thank you," Lou muttered as she looked at the back of his head. Thinking maybe it was just a bad day for him Lou turned her and Lily around and headed out of the store.

"Sweetie now Mama?" Lily asked sounding hopeful.

Lou was about to reply, when three women walked up and stood in front of them blocking their path.

"You should be ashamed of yourself." One of the old ladies hissed at Lou. Lou stopped short, had she heard right?

"I'm sorry?" Lou questioned. Not knowing where and why these women would be speaking to her with such venom in their voices.

"No you're not, but you should be." Another told Lou, with so much hate.

"The Harrington's are good, honest people. We know what you did, everyone knows what you did." The first lady shook her head, "And you show your face, with that bastard child."

Lou was horrified, but enraged as well. She didn't think twice as her hand shot out and struck the woman who dared to speak about Lily that way.

"Don't you ever…" Lou begun, but the rude lady cut her off.

"You dare lay a hand on me. Do you know who I am?" The old cow whined as she cradled her cheek in her hands. "Why don't you do that girl a favour and let Emmett and Meredith raise their Grandchild, that way she will grow up with some morals."

Lou stood frozen as she took in this woman's words. Why would she…? How did she…?

Lou pulled Lily into her side and cupped her ears with her hands so that she would not hear the words that she wanted to say to this misinformed bunch of ninnies.

"She. Is. Not. Their. Family." Lou stressed with her teeth clenched, "Whatever you have been told you have been misinformed. So I suggest you get your fat asses on the buckboard you rode into town on and fuck off before I put a god damn bullet between your eyes." Lou was shaking with anger, and tears prickled the backs of her eyes at the assumption that these woman had made.

Horrified gasps were made by the three women but whatever they saw in Lou's eyes made them scurry away as they were told.

Lou on the other hand released Lily's ears and she kissed her sweet little head. "I'm sorry baby girl if you heard or understood any of that." Lou whispered as the tears that had been prickling her seconds ago started to fall.

Lou kept Lily in her arms and as quickly as she could, she headed head for Teaspoon's office.

Lou didn't know if it was all in her head, but people seemed to be staring at her. Had they all been witness to what had taken place before? Or were those old hags right in what they had said, everyone knew?

But knew what exactly?

The hush whispers became more and more noticeable and Lou knew in her heart that it was her they were talking about.

What had she done to deserve this?

Lou held Lily a little tighter, feeling safe with her in her arms. Lou saw Jenny sweeping outside her Fathers store, so she went to go over and say hello and ask if she knew what was going on.

"Jenny, hi," Lou greeted out loud going to place Lily on the ground only to discover she was sound asleep on her shoulder.

Jenny looked up, she seemed to be panicked as she realised that Lou was making her way over. She quickly gathered her broom and tried as quickly as she could to get back in the store and hide. She couldn't face Lou or any of them just for the time being.

As much as it killed her to do so, Jenny ran back in the store, tears were falling from her eyes as she quickly muttered an apology to her Father saying he was going to have to deal with Lou.

Lou frowned as she crossed the street with Lily. Had Jane not seen or heard her?

Lou could hear some men sniggering behind her, and she had even thought she heard a whistle, looking back she could see four men smoking while appraising her with their eyes. She looked at them in disgust especially when one winked at her.

"What is going on?" she wondered out loud to herself.

Dread was starting to fill her when different scenarios ran through her head. Lou walked over to the store hoping that Jenny had some answers for her. Because with the way everyone had been acting Lou was positive that her friend had blatantly walked away from her when she heard her call out.

Lou prayed that wasn't the case, but if it was she hoped that Jenny would be so kind to tell her why.

"Morning Tompkins," Lou smiled as she walked past the frozen statues of those who were already in the store.

"Lou," Tompkins greeted gruffly, but that wasn't unusual. "Is Jenny about?"

"No I'm sorry Lou I just sent her out back to do some jobs,"

"Well it will only take a minute." Lou told him as she made her way out the back, but Tompkins stood in her way blocking her path.

"Sorry Lou, I can't have you back there." He told her as he loomed over her. His face was hard, but his eyes were telling of a different story.

Lou frowned, at a loss of what to say or what to do. She looked behind her at the others that were in the store. They too were watching to see what was going to happen.

"I guess I will get a bag of those yellow sweets Lily likes, and be on my way," Lou said quietly, feeling very embarrassed. Lou wanted to follow through with her promise to Lily about getting some yellow sweets for being a good girl and staying in her bed.

Tompkins face dropped and his eyes glanced over Lou's head, "I'm sorry Lou I can't do that." He said as stern as he could.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean that your money is no good here. I'm sorry but you are going to have to go elsewhere." Lou flinched as if he had struck her.

Tompkins seeing what his words had done to the girl broke his heart. He wished he could explain to her why, but he couldn't. He just hoped that Lou and the rest of the family understood and forgave him one day.

"I don't understand," Lou whimpered, "What is going on with everyone?" Lou looked around the store seeing that she was still centre of attention. "What have I done to you all for you to look at me that way, treat me in this manor…" Lou cried as she gripped Lily a little harder.

She turned her teary eyes back to Tompkins, "Please tell me?"

"All I can tell you Lou is that you and your family are no longer welcome in this store." He told her, his voice breaking slightly. "I'm sorry…" he whispered just loud enough for the two of them to hear.

Lou nodded as she bit her lip in hopes that it would stop her from sobbing out loud. "I'm sorry to," Lou told him, "For whatever I have done." She added softly as she turned and walked out of the store.

Not knowing how she done it, Lou had walked back across the street and was now standing inside Teaspoon's door.

She looked up to see Rachel was waving her arms around as she yelled at Teaspoon and Buck. "I am so wild Teaspoon. How dare Betsy treat me this way?" She yelled. "I have had that yarn ordered for three weeks, three weeks. My money was good enough back then,"

Lou snapped out of it when she heard that. Had Rachel been treated the same way?

"Lou?" Buck suddenly questioned when he saw her in the door way, "Lou, what's wrong?" He asked as he went to her side.

"Please can you take her?" She asked him quietly. Her arms were feeling weak and she was afraid that she might drop Lily if she held on any longer.

Buck took Lily's sleeping form from Lou and held the little girl in his arms. She woke but only for a minute. She looked up at Buck and smiled before snuggling into his shoulder.

"Tompkins just refused to sell me sweets," Lou announced, "He said that we," Lou looked around the room, "All of us were not welcome in his store. That our money was not welcome." Lou cried.

"William said that to you?" Rachel asked shocked. "That is what Betsy had said to me. Teaspoon what is going on?"

Teaspoon frowned as he looked to Lou. She wasn't looking to good. He could clearly see Rachel was angry, but Lou looked like she was going to be sick.

Lou nodded her answer to Rachel, "Then these women…" Lou cried, "They called Lily…" Lou finally wailed, she couldn't even say the word. She had heard it twice now directed to her child and it hurt her through and through to hear people talk about her that way. "…Then they told me to let Emmett and Meredith Harrington raise their Grandchild." Lou continued to cry, "They said that everyone knew what I had done." Lou looked to Teaspoon for help. She was so distraught she needed him to tell her what was going on.

"Oh Louise," Rachel cried with her. She hated seeing the young woman in tears.

"What have I done? I don't understand any of it. Is it why Betsy and Tompkins won't take our money? Is it why Jenny ran away from me? Whatever it is I have done, it must be bad…I only wish I knew."

"Jenny ran from you?" Buck asked, not liking the sound of that at all.

"She did. I called out to her and she looked up at me, but then disappeared in the store before I walked over to her, and then Tompkins wouldn't let me see her….and then…the money…I just wanted…sweets." Lou was full on wailing now as she remembered how embarrassed she was and still is. The faces of those other people flickered behind her eyes.

"I think we best get you ladies home, then Buck and I will see if we can find anything out." Teaspoon suggested, not liking anything he had just heard. Did the Harrington's believe that Lily was their Grandchild?

Buck carried Lily to the buckboard, while Teaspoon walked with Rachel and Lou.

.

.

They arrived back at the ranch to see Cody and Jimmy were back and were sitting down with Tiffany having some lunch.

Jimmy looked up at the sound of the wagon, and was instantly on his feet when he saw that Buck and Teaspoon had accompanied the girls back.

"What happened?" He asked as he walked over to help Rachel and Lou from the buckboard.

He looked to Lou for answers as he helped her off the wagon with Lily asleep in her arms. "I need to put Lily in her bed, then we'll talk." Lou told him.

Jimmy watched Lou walk away, he could tell she was upset and had been crying.

"Buck, Teaspoon?"

"I don't know what to tell you,"

"You can tell me why she's been crying, or why Rachel looks like she's about to kill someone."

"I was refused service by Betsy Taylor. Betsy who I have known for years," Rachel shook her head feeling angry all over again. "I order some yarn three weeks back, I go in to collect and she tells me my money's no good. Then she hands me back the same amount I paid her and asks me to leave the store." Rachel threw her arms up, "I'm so wild."

Jimmy, Cody and Tiffany were just as confused as everyone else. "That is why Lou is so upset?" Jimmy questioned.

"No, I'm upset because the same thing happened to me, but at Tompkins store." Lou said coming up behind Jimmy.

Jimmy turned and held his arms out to her, pulling her in for a cuddle. "Tompkins refused to serve you?"

"Yes after Jenny ran away from me," Lou told him.

Buck's insides cringed when he heard that. It really didn't sound like Jenny at all. Jimmy looked up at Buck, who could only shake his head and shrug, he had no idea what was happening and why Jenny would behave like that.

"Lou honey, tell them what those ladies said," Teaspoon instructed Louise. He knew that something about the women's statement was the cause of this, or maybe the people behind this.

"I can't. I can't say what they called Lily. I hate that word and she doesn't deserve that name thrown at her."

Jimmy pulled away from Lou and looked to her with concern. "They told me that Lily would be better off with her Grandparents," Lou looked over to Tiffany, "Emmett and Meredith,"

"What?" Jimmy roared with outrage.

"They think Lily is Andrew's child?" Tiffany asked, sounding unsure and bewildered by all of this.

Lou cried out after hearing it said out loud, "They must, but I don't know why they would say that." Lou sobbed.

"We're going to find out Lou," Cody promised grabbing Tiffany's hand and leading her to the stable.

"Cody what are you doing?" Tiffany questioned as she was led away by her husband.

"We are going to pay a visit with your family and find out why folk are saying that about Lily."

Tiffany didn't put up a fight. In fact she was interested to know why as well. So as they set out to the Harrington ranch, Teaspoon and Buck rode back into town to see what they could find out about why Tompkins and Betsy felt like they could treat the girls that way.

.

.

Lou and Jimmy had spent the rest of the day being with Lily. Lou had told Jimmy about slapping the woman who had called Lily a bastard, and as much as they both agreed that she deserved it, Lou was upset that her daughter witnessed it.

Lily was sad about not getting her sweets, and Lou felt really bad for letting Lily down. Lou asked her what else she wanted instead, and after much thought Lily decided she wanted to go for a ride with Jimmy.

So that is what they did.

The three of them rode out to the river and spent the day catching butterflies, and frogs. Lou was grateful for the break away from everyone, and the rest before she saw them all again.

Later that night everyone, except Lou, was gathered at the dinner table. They had all been waiting for Lily to turn in for the night before they talked.

Lou did not want to talk about it at all, and was worried about leaving Lily by herself in the bunkhouse. With all the weird behaviour in town Lou had a bad feeling in the pit of her stomach and she would not risk leaving Lily alone if it wasn't necessary.

"Let me hear it," Jimmy demanded to nobody in particular.

"Shouldn't we wait for Lou?" Tiffany asked, dreading this whole conversation. Cody knew that Jimmy wanted to be prepared so he could help Lou, and from what Cody had heard today he knew that Jimmy needed a heads up to what was coming.

"The Harrington's are under the assumption that Andrew is Lily's father." Cody looked only at Jimmy when he said this, but he could hear the soft gasp from Rachel and the 'oh lordy' from Teaspoon. "Andrew has told Emmett and Meredith that Lou refuses to allow Andrew to see his child, that he only found out Lily was his when he came for the wedding, that he loved Lou and is devastated by her betrayal." Cody gripped tiffany's hand, letting her know he was there.

He knew Jimmy was going to be irate, and Tiffany was going to hear some colourful things regarding her family.

Everyone was quiet as they processed what they had just heard. And no one was ever going to admit it, but some doubt did cross one or two of their minds.

"Well it ain't true," Jimmy growled suddenly, slamming his hands on the table. He believed Lou, and you could see the Kid in Lily all the time. There was no way she was someone else's child. "You know it's not true, don't you?" He all of a sudden asked the others.

When they all took a minute to utter their of course's, he knew that there was some small doubt in their minds. "Look at that wee girl when she smiles, it is just like her fathers. She is Kids, I know she is."

"Is that it? Is that what people think?" Lou's voice questioned, making everyone jump at her voice. "And who do they think her Father is?" Lou asked coldly, but she already knew. "Andrew," she whispered, hating that his name had come from her mouth.

"He's not." Lou didn't know why she had said that. She shouldn't have to defend herself this was her family they surely couldn't believe that monster was Lily's father. That she would lie to them.

She looked around at her family seeing no one was going to talk, well no one except Tiffany.

"Lou, I have only known you for nearly a year, but in that short time I know that I can trust you and I know that you wouldn't lie," Tiffany told her before she let out a deep breath and continued, "Except if it came to protecting Lily. But if you stand here and tell me that without a shadow of a doubt that Lily is not my brother's daughter, then I will believe you." Tiffany stated.

"Tiffany!" Cody said shocked, dropping her hand at once.

Tiffany swung around to look at her husband, unbelieving that he would take back his hand after all that she was putting on the line.

"No Cody, I have walked away from my whole family because of what my brother has done to Lou. I think I have a right to question any doubts. It still won't change anything I will never talk to my brother again after what he has done to Lou, but if that child is his, then my family deserve the right to know."

Lou fumed as she gritted her teeth, "No Tiffany, _THAT _child is not his," Lou said through her gritted teeth, hating the way Tiffany had said 'that child'. "She is mine and she is Kid's."

"And you know that for sure?" Tiffany found herself asking before she even thought about it. But as soon as the words were out it was too late to take them back.

Lou flinched, "I'm not sure about anything anymore, including you." Lou spat back at Tiffany before turning on her heel and running from Rachel and Teaspoons house.

"I'm sorry," Tiffany cried realising what she had just said and done.

"How could you ask her that? She had given you her word that Lily was Kids and yet you questioned her again." Cody asked, ashamed of his wife in this moment.

"I'm sorry, I truly am. I had to know Cody, I just had to know. They are my family Cody. They are all I have away from you. Please understand that I cannot turn my back on my parents."

"Tiffany you're right, and I can see where it is your coming from, but we have known Lou for years, she wouldn't lie about something so big." Cody told her.

"But she has lied." Tiffany reminded them all. "Didn't you believe she was a boy to begin with? She pretended to be a boy so she could help her brother and sister. I was just asking if she was doing the same for Lily."

Jimmy stood from his chair having heard enough, "I'm turning in," Was all he said as he walked to the door. Buck did the same thing and followed him out.

"Jimmy I know you're mad, we all are, but you do have to see where Tiffany is coming from."

"Buck I know, but I have never wanted to strike a woman as much as I wanted to back there. Lou has done nothing but cry all day. She is ashamed she is scared and she is embarrassed and what just went on in there just destroyed her even more so." Jimmy stressed before taking a deep breath in and wandered into the bunkhouse with Buck close behind.

Lou was sitting in a chair in the corner. The light from a candle flickered beside her as she looked over Lily's sleeping form.

"He pushed past me and let himself in. His eyes looked over everything in the house. I had told him Kid was out hunting, and I expected him home anytime. Lily let out a wail from her small room, and he was shocked I had a child. I told him that is why I wished for his men to move on to the township, that I wanted Lily as far away from the war as possible." Lou's voice was distant as she continued to talk.

"He saw Kid's Confederacy flag in our bedroom, and asked me if he was out hunting Union. The way he said it scared me, so I went to stand by the door, but his arm snaked around my neck and he kicked my legs out from under me making me fall to the floor.

"I tried to crawl away, I tried but he bought his belt down hard beside me. I remember screaming and I remember fighting as he bound my wrists with his belt. He told me he wanted to play house. He told me I was his slave. He told me to suck…" Lou took a deep breath,

"He told me if I used my teeth he would put a bullet in Lily. He told me I was his whore; that I was going to do everything he told me to do. And I did, and I was, for hours. And all that time he was doing and saying those things to me, Lily was screaming in her bedroom.

"She was crying so hard that sometimes I would listen for her to take a breath. All I could think about was her in her cot thinking that I didn't care for her, that I didn't love her, because I wasn't coming for her. Every heart breaking wail she made, made me cry even harder. For hours and hours I was forced to listen to her, while that monster….' Lou swallowed hard and she shut her eyes for only a second as memories of what he made her do entered her mind.

"When he had finally had enough he promised me he would be back and that he would allow his men their turn. I didn't know what to do, I really didn't. But as soon as he left I grabbed my guns and I went to Lily. I pushed her cot up against the door knowing that it wouldn't hold if they wanted in. I picked Lily up and had to sit there in the state I was in and feed her.

"I hated her. I hated her in that moment because my breasts were sore. He had bitten, he had squeezed he had pinched and he had fed off of them for hours that the last thing I wanted was for her to feed as well." Lou took a deep breath in,

"Do you know what it is like to feel hate towards your child, It was excruciating." Lou said her voice raw as her throat burned from all the crying.

"Deep down I knew that I didn't hate her, but all I could see in that moment was she was using me just as much as he had. She was hurting me, and I didn't want to hurt anymore." Lou wiped her eyes and looked up at Jimmy who was also crying, and then to Buck who was wiping at his face.

"Lily is not that monsters daughter." Lou blew out the candle then and slipped into her bed. She was exhausted and she just wanted to close her eyes and not have to look at anyone else for the day.


	11. Chapter 11

**I do not own the Young Riders.**

**Hi guys, I am so sorry. I feel as if I have been gone for a whole life time and am ashamed to say I even had to read through this story to see where I was at. **

**I hate that I have taken so long to update. **

**2013 was one cruel bitch and I really wasn't coping with a hell of a lot. And at this stage 2014 isn't looking much better. But I have started writing again and will slowly but surely get all my stories updated and finished.**

**I have a new story that I started to write last year, that I really want to post as well, so look out for that.**

**To my lovely ladies on G+ I miss you all and promise to get in touch soon xx**

**I hope this reads alright. **

Jenny lay awake in her bed waiting for the right time to make her move.

She listened intently and she waited patiently until the rattling snores of her father sounded through the thin walls of their little loft.

Jenny knew if she was going to do this she needed to do it now, because if her father is snoring then he was well and truly fast asleep.

Lacing her boots as quickly as she could, Jenny ran from the small loft above the store, she grabbed the small bag from behind the counter and headed for Buck.

Jenny had been out to the new property many of times that her horse seemed to know the way all on its own.

As she neared the property she could hear voices talking. Jenny closed her eyes and tried to steady her breathing as she continued to ride up to the bunkhouse.

Jimmy and Buck both jumped from their spots on the steps, Jimmy's hand going straight to his gun, but Buck was just as quick to place a hand on Jimmy's arm to stop him.

"It's Jenny," Buck whispered to Jimmy, thinking his friend had not seen who it was.

Jimmy dropped his hand away from his gun but his eyes narrowed at the girl in front of them.

Buck could see that Jimmy was about to say something, he knew it wasn't going to be good so Buck jumped in before Jimmy could.

"I got this Jimmy," Buck told him hoping that Jimmy would walk away, and trust that there was no way he would put Lily and Lou in harm's way, even with the woman he loves. But nothing was that easy with Jimmy.

"You and your father hurt her today." Jimmy stated. His eyes still narrowed in on the girl he thought he knew.

Jenny nodded her head sadly. She knew what she had done. She put her hand in her pocket and pulled the bag of sweets she had grabbed from the counter before she had rode off.

"Please…can you give this to Lily?" She handed the bag to Jimmy, who was hesitant to take it at first but then snatched it out of her grasp before disappearing inside the bunkhouse allowing Buck and Jenny talk.

Jenny dismounted her horse and walked him over to the hitching post.

"I wouldn't presume you're staying long enough to be doing that." Jenny was shocked at the way Buck talked to her, but she knew she deserved it.

Not listening to what he had said she tied her horse off anyway.

Straightening her dress she looked up to see Buck was standing there waiting. His face showed no expression as he waited for her to speak.

"I will never be able to apologise to you and Lou enough. You have no idea how much it hurt to turn away from you both without an explanation as to why." Jenny looked over to Cody and Tiffany's cottage, swallowing hard as she thought about the friendships she may have lost.

"I hope you know me well enough that you know I would never deliberately hurt you or your family. I hope you have enough forgiveness in your heart to forgive me and to know that I would not act like this if I had another choice."

"Make me understand Jenny. Because I believe that there is always a choice, so I would love to hear the options you were given."

Steadying herself Jenny told him what she knew. "I heard you went to see Betsy to?" Buck nodded, "And I overheard that you have had trouble finding Cattle." It wasn't a question more of a statement.

Buck frowned, he wouldn't say they had trouble, Cody and Jimmy had been to see only two ranchers so far, neither one of them said they couldn't secure any cattle just because they didn't want to do business with the family.

Jenny, seeing that Buck wasn't sure, continued anyway. "Three days ago my father was closing the store when two men came in. They sat my father and me down and told us that we had two options. The first was to keep our business with your family going, as we have done for years now." Jenny paused to take a breath,

"But if we went that path then it would be only your business we would receive." Buck was confused more now than ever. "The second option was to cut you all off and carry on as usual." Jenny sighed, "Please you have to see that we had no other option. My father stressed himself sick thinking about it. But what it came down to is that we have to be able to survive too." Jenny began to cry.

"We had to be selfish and think of the two of us first…"

"Jenny I understand, I do." Buck cut her off, shaking his head, "I'm guessing that the other businesses in town have been given the same two options as well."

Jenny nodded her head yes as she continued to cry.

"And its public knowledge that we can't secure cattle," Again Jenny nodded her head. "I can only think of one family that has enough pull and enough reason to want to do this to us."

Jenny turned her head towards Tiffany and Cody's cottage before turning back to Buck. "This will hurt her." She stated. Tiffany and Jenny came two very different back grounds and would seem unlikely friends, but the two girls and Lou had all become close and Jenny knew that if Tiffany found out what her family were doing it would hurt her deeply.

"It will." Buck agreed. "Family is everything to Tiffany. She struggles with the knowledge that they are nothing like she was raised to believe." Buck knew he had to be careful with this information. He could not just storm over there and announce what he now knew. He would talk with Cody and Teaspoon first before the others were told.

"Wait there, I'll get my horse and ride back to town with you." Jenny liked the sound of that but she didn't know if it was such a good idea in case they were seen.

Buck, seeing that Jenny looked slightly panicked, added, "Just as far as the out skirts of town," he promised to which she agreed.

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.

.

Inside the bunkhouse Jimmy discarded his clothes. It was stinking hot out and he was not going be sleeping with any long johns on.

The thing was though, Lou was asleep in his bed, and he did not want her to think he wanted more than to just sleep, even if he was butt naked.

Thinking it was best to sleep in Lou's bed so he didn't scare her, he climbed in only draping the soft linen over his manhood. He placed his arm over his eyes willing his eyes shut and tried to not think of all that had been said tonight.

But his mind went to Lou and what she had suffered that night at the hands of Andrew. He could not believe how incredibly strong she is.

Of course hearing about what the monster said and made her feel destroyed him. He couldn't get his head around it all.

In some ways he wanted to believe that it was all a lie or a bad dream that Lou had mistaken for the truth, because the reality was too much for him to bare. He could not believe, or did not believe that someone he cared for so deeply had suffered so much.

When did life become that cruel?

"Jimmy," Lou whispered,

"I'm over here Lou," Jimmy's voice sounded off, even to his own ears. "In your bed." He clarified.

Lou sat up and looked his way, not able to see a thing in the darkness. Why was he in there? She asked herself.

Thinking the worst, she began to cry quietly. "I'm sorry," she whimpered. "I shouldn't have told you all of that." Lou could only imagine what Jimmy thought of her now after hearing a snippet of what Andrew had done to her. He was most likely disgusted.

"Lou, that ain't why I'm over here," He stressed, hearing the sadness in her voice. "It's hot out…I ain't got anything on. Didn't want to scare you is all."

Lou's quiet sob turned into a small smile. Jimmy sounded so embarrassed. And as much as the thought of being next to a man in that state of undress, scared her, this was Jimmy her Jimmy.

So she slipped out of the bed she was in and carefully made her way over to him.

"Can you still hold me?" She asked unsure if he would want to take it further than that.

"Lou I'm not joking here, I'm naked."

"I believe you, but I still need to be beside you…please."

"Lou," Jimmy swallowed thickly. He was unsure of any of this.

Lou slipped on the bed beside him, waiting for him to shift over. When he did she snuggled up beside him, laying her head on his bare chest and draping her arm over the rest of him.

She loved the feel of his skin against hers; it made her smile knowing that she was not completely messed up by her past.

Jimmy kissed the top of her head, before relaxing into the mattress, "I love you Lou," he whispered into the night.

"I love you to," She whispered back as she closed her eyes and drifted off to sleep.

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.

.

The next morning Lou awoke to Jimmy and Buck already gone. She knew that Jimmy along with Cody had a long way to travel today, and prayed that they finally came home with cattle to fill their yards.

After some breakfast Rachel took Lily for a walk along the creek before it got too hot, while Lou got to her chores. It seemed that the older Lily was getting the more mess she was creating.

She smiled to herself as she hung Lily's dresses on the line. Lou knew that she couldn't complain because the messier her daughter got, the more fun she knew she'd had.

"Lou," Tiffany's voice greeted quietly.

"Morning Tiffany," Lou greeted back, but not turning around to face her friend.

"I wanted to talk through what was said last night. I shouldn't have said what I did. I just…I mean…" Tiffany walked around Lou so they were face to face. "I love you and I love Lily, but I also love my family; that does not include my brother. I promise you that I will never forgive him for what he did, and no I don't believe he is Lily's father," Tiffany begun to cry, "I had my mother in my ear about it and I don't know why, but I had to ask. I'm so sorry." She whispered.

"But please don't let my brother's behaviour be tied to my parents. I cannot choose between the two of you." Tiffany continued to cry.

"Tiffany I don't want to make you choose between Lily and I or your family so I won't ever make you do so, but I can in all honestly tell you, that I will never be in their presence again nor will I allow Lily to know them any more than she already does."

"Lou that's a little harsh, I mean When Cody and I have our own children then I will want them to know their Grandparents. I will not take something so precious, as grandchildren, away from them."

"And you shouldn't. But that has nothing to do with Lily and me." Lou stressed.

"But you are Cody's family, and hopefully mine. There will be times that we would want you all with us at different times throughout their childhood."

"Why are we even discussing this? You and Cody don't have any children so we are a long way…" Lou looked at Tiffany in shock, happiness and yet in sadness. For she knew in that moment Tiffany was with child and things were about to change.

"When did you find out?" Lou asked, trying to keep a neutral tone in her voice. After all she was happy for the both of them. A child is a blessing that every couple should have.

"I figured it out yesterday, told Cody this morning."

"Congratulations Tiffany, I really am happy for you." And she was.

Tiffany beamed brightly at Lou. "Thank you. Cody and I are so happy. I know that this baby will change everything."

Lou breathed in deeply and bit her lip so she didn't say anything that would hurt her relationship with Tiffany. But then she reminded herself that she didn't owe anyone anything, except Lily.

"Tiffany you have no idea how happy I am for you and Cody. I mean I believe that you will both be amazing parents. I will love your child like a proud Aunt, but it will not change anything in regards of your family. I will not, nor will Lily have anything to do with them. I respect you enough to not speak badly of them from this moment on, so please show me the same respect by not asking or assuming that my mind will change on this fact."

Lou hated the look Tiffany's face held; she had hurt her friend.

.

.

.

Lou busied herself most of the day, but her mind replayed the conversation with Tiffany over and over in her mind.

Lou hated that things weren't right between them, she hated that she herself didn't apologise for the way she spoke to Tiffany last night. Because as she wanted to hate everything and everyone tied to Andrew, she couldn't.

Lou was beginning to think that it was her that was causing the problems. She was able to be near Tiffany, she even loved Tiffany. So could she not find room in her heart to love Tiffany's parents as well? After all they were now forever tied to Lou's family.

"I don't know what to do." Lou sighed out loud.

"You don't know what to do about what?" Jimmy asked somewhat amused that Lou was talking to herself.

He smiled at her as she perched herself on the top step. Jimmy sat on the one down from her as bent down to unlace his boots.

"I hurt her." Lou said sadly, causing Jimmy to look around in alarm.

"You hurt Lily?" He asked unbelievably.

"No, Tiffany."

Jimmy hummed in understanding. He knew that if the two girls were having a disagreement it had to be about Tiffany and her family.

And if this conversation was taking place yesterday then he wouldn't have understood why Tiffany was suddenly having a change of heart where her family was concerned.

"It's great news about the baby," Jimmy said softly, slightly afraid of what Lou's reaction would be.

"It truly is Jimmy," Lou beamed, "I am so happy for them both, I really am." Sighing loudly Lou got up from the step and walked up to the small window of the bunkhouse. Peering inside she could just make out Lily's small head poking out the top of the blankets, she was still sleeping soundly.

"What if he comes back?" Lou asked shaking slightly as fear rippled through her body. "What if he wants to know his niece or nephew?"

"You think Cody will allow him to come here?" Jimmy asked lightly, scared of saying the wrong thing.

Lou stayed silent as she continued to think. How can one man ruin so many people's lives?

"Yeah, you're right." Lou smiled down at Jimmy, but he could see that it didn't reach her eyes. She was still worried.

He stepped up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist, kissing the back of her head softly. "I'm right Lou. There is no way that monster will ever…" Jimmy let her go and turned her body to him so he was staring into her eyes. "Ever set foot on this property." The back of his hand grazed her soft cheek, "You know that I lo…."

"Lou," Cody yelled out from across the yard, interrupting Jimmy.

Both Lou and Jimmy looked over to Cody, seeing him storming from the cottage and making his way to the bunkhouse.

Jimmy could see by the look on Cody's face that he was angry, and he wasn't the only one.

"Cody I'm sorry. I promise I didn't mean to hurt her. I just don't…" Lou looked up to see a crying Tiffany following Cody. The sight caused Lou's heart to clench painfully in her chest.

"Enough is enough." He yelled looking between Lou and Tiffany. "You two are friends, I thought close ones." He sighed, "I have just told Tiffany that her family are welcome here anytime, but with warning. Lou, if Tiffany's family are planning a visit they are to send notice at least a day in advance. That way you and Lily can leave. I will never…" Cody looked to Tiffany, "Tiffany and I will never ask or expect you to spend any time with them."

Tiffany started sobbing as she turned and ran back towards the cottage. "And as for her brother, he will never set foot on this property, and if he does he won't be walking away."

"Oh Cody, I'm so sorry." Lou cried as she flung herself at him. "Please tell Tiffany I was wrong. Of course her parents are welcome here. Don't take that away from her because of me."

"Lou?" He questioned.

"I've been thinking and I have come to the conclusion that Tiffany is of same blood as that monster and I love her despite of it. Maybe over time I can feel the same way about her parents. Please tell her that I will not stand in the way of them being here for her or your child." Lou smiled brightly at Cody. "Congratulations daddy."

Cody wrapped his arms around Lou tightly and swung her around. "I'm so proud of you Lou. You truly are an amazing woman." He kissed the side of her head. "And thank you."

Cody glanced at Jimmy over Lou's shoulder. He could see his old friend did not agree with Lou's new change of heart. But Cody would never call him out on it.

It was Jimmy's job to look out for her and Cody was only happy to see he was doing just that.

"Right well I better go and talk with Tiff. I will see you both at supper."

Lou said her goodbyes and walked back over to Jimmy placing her arms back around him and squeezing him tight. "I can see you're not happy, but I promise that I am fine with this."

"I believe you. Well I believe that you want to be."

Lou hummed, as he was right, she really wanted to be.

The sound of racing hooves had both Lou and Jimmy twisting in that direction. They saw it was Teaspoon and Buck, both not looking to happy.

"What now?" Lou asked dreading she won't like what they have to say.

"Mamma," A soft little voice called out from the bunkhouse.

Lou kissed Jimmy on his jaw and ran inside to see to Lily.

"How did you and Cody get on this morning?" Teaspoon hollered out to Jimmy as he got off his horse. But it was a pointless question as Teaspoon already knew the answer he was going to get.

"No good. Why do I get the feeling that you know that already?" Jimmy enquired as he walked over to join Teaspoon and Buck.

"Buck, do you want to get Cody and meet in the barn. I think we need to talk about this first before we bring the ladies in on it."

Buck dismounted his horse handing the reins to Jimmy before running over to the cottage to grab Cody.

"Please tell me this isn't bad news."

"Wish I could son. I wish I could." Teaspoon put his horse away and Jimmy did Bucks while they waited for Cody and Buck.

"Teaspoon," Cody started with a big dopey grin on his face, "I'm going to be a Pa," He announced proudly, after just sharing the news with Buck.

Teaspoon raised his eyebrows and smiled a genuine smile. "That's mighty fine news Cody. Congratulations." Teaspoon was over the moon for the boy and for Tiffany, he was not happy that what he and Buck were about to share.

"So what is going on?"

"You know Jenny came to me last night," Buck started. Jimmy nodded in confirmation. "She gave me some insight on why the town folk, especially business owners are treating us the way they are."

"And why we can't secure cattle." Teaspoon added.

Both he and Buck looked to Cody knowing that he was going to be most affected by this news.

"Meredith and Emmett?" Cody guessed, hoping like hell that he was wrong.

"It seems to be that by making our life harder, including Tiffany's, it may force her hand and make her go home to them. If we can't make a living or survive without supplies they are hoping that she will see that we are no good."

"Including me?" Cody asked, feeling sick to his gut.

"I'm afraid so son,"

"Son of a bitch!" Cody yelled as he kicked a pail into the side of the barn.

"So how do we beat them?" Jimmy enquired, "We will prove to them and this town that we don't need them."

"We could go further for cattle or find someone who despises the Harrington's as much as us."

"It will have to be further, because even those who hate the Harrington's still need supplies. If anyone is found helping us, they too will be made out casts."

"That's gives us only one option, go abroad."

"I don't like it." Jimmy added. "A, cattle drive could take days, weeks, how is that going to work with the girls?"

"Jimmy's right. They can't come with us it would be too much for Lily and Tiffany. We need at least all our hands on the job."

"This all seems a little too convenient or planned." Cody muttered under his breath, hoping like hell his suspicions were wrong. Though when it came to Tiffany's family nothing surprised him nor shocked him. He just couldn't understand how his Tiff turned out the way she did.

"Explain," Teaspoon demanded of Cody.

"They would have to know that we would be pushed to do this. Sooner or later they had to know that someone would tell us what was going on. They would know we had to travel afar and they knew that the girls were not coming with us."

"You think they're counting on it? But wwwhhhyyy?" Jimmy asked, but as soon as the question came out of his mouth he had the answer. "So Andrew can come and claim what they believe to be his. GOD DAMN IT!"

"Cody, what's wrong?" Tiffany's sweet voice asked from the entrance from the barn.

Cody nearly jumped out of his skin at hearing her voice. He looked at his glowing wife scared of how she was going to take this betrayal from her family.

He didn't have any option but to tell her.

"We are just discussing a cattle drive. Looks like we may have to travel a fair way and we're not too happy about it." Was all he gave her for now. He would tell her everything when they were alone.

"It's really going that bad?" She asked in disbelief. "Maybe I can get my father…"

"NO!" was yelled out by all four men, making Tiffany jump in shock. She looked to each of their faces wondering what the hell was wrong with her family helping.

"You guys are really making it hard for me. I truly don't know how much more I can do to make you see that my parents are not my brother." Tiffany began to cry, "Please…please can you give them a chance." She pleaded softly.

Cody walked up to her and placed his hands on her upper arms slightly squeezing them as he looked down into her sad eyes.

"I love you." He kissed her, "This family loves you," He smiled, "More than you will ever know." Tiffany's body shook with sobs, "The last thing we ever want is for you to be hurt, but sweetheart your family, your parents, have asked the town folk to turn their backs on us." He said slowly, "On you."

Tiffany let a wail of a cry shaking her head in protest.

"That is why Tompkins won't allow our business, why Betsy refused Rachel, why we have yet to come back with cattle."

"I-I-don't …" Tiffany begun but she couldn't continue. Cody wrapped his arms securely around her before picking her up and carrying her back to the cottage.

The whole way he whispered in her ear how much she was loved how much he loved her and their child. He begged her to be strong and pleaded with her to trust him, to trust that he had her and their child's best interest at hear. And then he cried with her when she fell to pieces.

Cody placed her on their bed before he unlaced her boots and pulling them from her feet. He then stripped her of her skirt and blouse, leaving her in her chemise only, and then undressing himself he slipped in behind her and held her tight until she cried herself to sleep.

He was concerned that she would choose her parents over him, but he was more scared about what this stress was doing on her body and the baby.

He lay awake for the rest of the evening, listening to her soft snores, and occasional whimpers. His mind racing from one idea to another but one thing was clear.

If Meredith and Emmett wanted a fight they would get one. He will not sit back and watch them snatch Tiff, and their baby, out from under their nose. He will fight tooth and nail to keep that from happening.

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.

.

As the morning sun shone through their room Tiffany awoke with the loud and somewhat painful tummy rumble.

She was starving; after all she had missed both lunch and supper yesterday.

She smiled softly when she heard her husband's stomach making the same noise from behind her. If she was starving she would hate to think what Cody was feeling.

Slipping out of their bed Tiffany started to get herself straightened up for the day.

Her head was feeling sore and weighed down as she slowly started remembering what happened the day before.

After she had cleaned herself up she made a small breakfast for Cody and herself. But by the time Cody jumped out of bed he was out the door just as quick.

She had hoped he would stick around today, but she understood that there was so much to be done, so she didn't make a fuss.

Tiffany found herself doing small unnecessary jobs around the house instead of going outside and facing everyone else.

She had this dread in her stomach that what her parents had done finally pushed Cody's family over the edge. Would they all tell him that she wasn't worth the trouble?

Deep down in her heart she knew that this was not the case. But it didn't stop her mind playing tricks on her.

"Come on Tiffany, you have to face them at some stage." She told herself as she danced around the front door of the cottage.

Hearing Cody yelling out to one of the other boys, from outside, made Tiffany's heart skip a beat. He was still here.

Bravely she pulled open the cottage door and faced whatever was coming her way.

"Good morning sweetheart." Teaspoon smiled up at her.

Tiffany smiled back as she gingerly made her way from the front porch.

"Morning Teaspoon."

Teaspoon walked to meet her, holding his arms out for her to step into. Which she did.

"I'm so sorry honey." He said into her hair, "Please don't stress yourself out over this. We need you to take care of the soon to be new addition." He smiled, pulling away from her.

"It is such wonderful news. Rachel wanted to see you before she left,"

"Left?" Tiffany questioned. "Where has she gone?" Tiffany asked, her eyes scanning the yard not seeing anyone. She was sure she had heard Cody a minute ago.

"Lou, Lily and Rachel have gone to meet Jenny."

"They've gone into town?"

"No. Jenny and Tompkins are going to sneak us supplies to see us through."

"I'm really sorry for all this trouble. I didn't think my parents would try and hurt me so deeply."

"I don't think it was you in particular they were trying to hurt. They are your parents and have loved you since the day you were born. In their eyes I think that they think they're trying to help you."

"But you are all family too. If you hurt I hurt. Surely they can see that."

"I wish they did honey." Teaspoon kissed Tiffany on the forehead. "I meant what I said before. I don't want you worrying about this. You need to take care of this one." Teaspoon placed a hand on Tiffany's stomach. "It's wonderful news."

"Thank you Teaspoon."

Tiffany found herself watching the road that lead away from their farm, waiting for Louise and Rachel to return home. She had not asked if the boys had filled the other two ladies in on what they had found out about her parents but she was feeling anxious all the same.

Louise had every right to say 'I told you so' but Tiffany knew that she was not that kind of girl. She just felt foolish and embarrassed about the whole thing.

"Tiff sweetheart," Cody yelled out from the front door of the barn.

He was in a hurry but wanted to say goodbye to his wife first.

"What is it Cody?" She replied walking over to greet him.

"Jimmy, Teaspoon and I are heading out to another ranch. Need to make it look as if we are still in the dark." Tiffany's heart clenched in anguish at the small reminder what they were all facing at the hands of her parents. "Buck is still here, doing some jobs around the place." He said softly, letting her know she was not alone. Tiffany looked to the ground, "Hey," Cody raised Tiffany's head to look at him. "Remember, I love you. We love you. Hold on to that."

Tiffany smiled sadly and leaned in to kiss her husband goodbye, wishing him luck.

.

.

.

Rachel and Lou had been gone most of the day both had wanted to make the most of the time they had with Jenny.

Rachel had shared Tiffany and Cody's news but asked her to keep it a secret as she wasn't sure if Tiffany's parents knew.

Rachel's insides were on fire with rage when she thought of Emmett and Meredith Harrington.

She was so angered by the way they held the whole town captive. She would have hoped that after all these years she, Teaspoon and the boys had made a place for themselves with the small town.

First with the Express, then the Teaspoon being the Marshall and even with her teaching the children, and yet she had never felt so shunned as much as she did now.

Nearing the farm she tried to reign it all in. She and Lou were planning a celebration dinner for Cody and Tiffany and she really needed to have her head in the right place.

"Rachel," Lou whispered as her widened eyes stared at the people standing in the middle of their yard.

"I am not going with you." Tiffany cried out. Her father had her by the tops of her arms and seemed to be dragging her towards his buggy.

Rachel pulled their buckboard to a stop, looking around for any sign of the boys, but coming up empty.

"Lou, take Lily and go to the bunkhouse." Rachel ordered thinking that it was better Lily was nowhere in hearing range for what Rachel wanted to say to these people.

Lou didn't need to be told twice. She gathered her dress and jumped from the buckboard before holding her arms out to Lily.

"Come now Lily," Lou's voice shook, scared of these people that were now in her space. Scared they were so close to Lily.

"Momma," Lily began to whine, refusing to go with Louise.

"Please Lily," Lou began to cry. The past few days catching up to her, "Jenny bought you some sweets, be a good girl and you can have one." Lou bribed swiping at her eyes.

Lily liking the sound of her mother's suggestion flung herself into Lou's awaiting arms.

Rachel felt useless as she watched her young friend suffering with distress.

"Louise you are fine. I won't let anyone hurt you." Rachel promised as she continued to stare at Lou with concern. "Or Tiffany,"

Lou nodded her head, but she did not feel safe. She wanted Jimmy here, where was he?

She rushed towards the bunkhouse with Lily tight in her arms.

"I want to see my Grandchild." Meredith yelled out, "You cannot keep her from us."

"Mother!" Tiffany yelled.

"Hush your mouth Tiffany. We are that child's family. We have rights, Andrew has…"

"Andrew has no rights. The only thing he deserves is a noose around his neck." Tiffany spat.

"Tiffany I never…"

"No Mother, Father, you are wrong. Andrew is a monster, I saw first-hand how he treated Louise and Lily. He does not have any tie to that child."

"I saw it too." Rachel added as she came to stand next to Tiffany placing an arm around her for support. "And I can see where he may have got it from." Rachel narrowed her eyes on Emmett's strong grip on his daughter. "You have two minutes to remove your hands from your daughter and then yourselves from this property." Rachel ordered before Bucks voice intervened.

"Make it one." He slung his riffle on to his shoulder as he made his way over to where Rachel and Tiffany stood.

"If we're leaving Tiffany is to come with us." Emmett yelled as he yanked Tiffany closer to the buggy.

"Like hell." Tiffany roared shocking herself and her parents. "Cody is my husband, I'm carrying his child, you have no claim on anything that is regarding me." Tiffany placed her small hand over her abdomen.

"Tiffany dear we are your family. You will come with us and have that child bought up in a secure, clean home." Meredith hissed feeling annoyed that her daughter was putting up such a fuss.

Buck quietly walked up behind Emmett and placed the barrel of the gun hard up against the back of his head.

"A minute is up. Take your hands off of Tiffany before I shoot you where you stand."

"Savage," Meredith spat.

Emmett how ever felt like he was in no position to argue. He let his daughters arm go and placed his arms in the air.

"Meredith my dear, get in the buggy."

"Emmett…."

"Just do as you're told."

.

.

.

Lou slammed the door shut, blocking out most of what Meredith was saying. Did the woman really believe what her son was saying?

"Momma cans I have dis many?" Lou looked down at Lily who had already found the small bag of sweets that Jenny had given Jimmy last night. She was holding the bag in one hand, and had three podgy little fingers up on the other hand.

Her wee face was hopeful, and the innocence of it all melted Lou's heart.

"Yes you can have three," Lou smiled as she tickled Lily's tummy.

"Momma," Lily giggled trying to push Lou's had away.

Lou picked her up and carried her over to Jimmy's bed, which was away from the window. She pulled out three sweets out for Lily. "Eat one at a time Lily. Just one."

"My have dis many." Lily held two fingers up.

Lou shook her head no and gently pushed one of her little fingers back down so she only had the one still up.

"This many."

"Ok Momma." Lou kissed her head happy that she was none the wiser about what was happening outside.

The sound of a buggy and horses had Lou rushing to the window to see Meredith and Emmett riding away.

She looked over to where her family stood. Buck was standing there with a gun pointed at the buggy, while Rachel held a sobbing Tiffany.

When would happiness come to them all?


	12. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings etc are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owner's, creators or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. **

***Warning Rated M for Bad language & Violence.**

* * *

><p>"He did what?" Cody roared as Buck filled the boys in about what had gone down at the small farm just hours ago.<p>

"Tody, Meme," The soft sound of Lily called as she ran from the bunkhouse, desperately trying to get their attention.

"Hi sweetheart," Jimmy smiled as he bent down preparing to capture the little girl in his arms, but to his surprise she flew into Cody's.

"Hi Lilybug,"

"Tiff 'as gotta baby," She told Cody seriously, "In 'ere." She pointed to her own tummy.

Cody laughed, "She has, has she?"

"Mmm," Lily nodded her head while Cody adjusted her on his hip.

"Where was this one and Lou when it went down?" Cody asked Buck, keeping his tone light for Lily's sake.

"In the bunkhouse." Buck told him. "They arrived back from meeting Jenny, and the Harrington's were already here." Buck smiled up at Lily who was nodding her little head in confirmation.

"I got 'dis many sweets." Lily told them, holding three fingers up proudly, after she heard Jenny's name.

"Three Lily. That is too many for a little tummy." Jimmy teased.

"Tis'nt" she shook her head at Jimmy.

"Well how bout you come with me and you can show me where your Mama is and where she hides them sweets." Jimmy suggested to which Lily held her arms out. He could see Cody's eyes trained on the cottage, he needed to go check on Tiffany.

Cody passed her over, relieved Jimmy had offered, cos as much as he cared for Lily he really wanted to go and check up on Tiffany.

"She's with Rachel in the main house." Buck told Cody.

Jimmy and Buck both watched Cody run up to the main house.

Buck was feeling guilty that he had not heard Meredith and Emmett earlier than he had. If he had then maybe Emmett wouldn't have laid a hand on his daughter.

"I got a bad feeling about all of this." Buck muttered to Jimmy. "Her father is a determined man. For him to grab his daughter like that…it scares me when I think how far he would go to get what he wanted."

"Perhaps the girls coming on a drive with us isn't such a stupid idea." Jimmy mused out loud.

"But it would be." Buck reminded him. "Sure Lou and Rachel would cope; they've done it before, but Tiffany." Buck shook his head, "It would be hard for her, and she is with child."

"You're right." Jimmy agreed. "And Little Miss Lily here," Jimmy bounced her on his hip to see if she was listening. She giggled and wrapped her small arms around Jimmy's head trying to keep it still so she could give him kisses.

Buck and Jimmy laughed when she finally planted one on his cheek, "'dotcha'"

"I don't know about you Buck, but do you think Miss Lily needs a bath?" Jimmy looked to the horse trough.

Buck following his eyes and nodded his head in agreement, and decided to play along with Jimmy. "I think your right. How about over there?" Buck pointed to the horse trough he and Jimmy were eyeing.

"No, no, I not a 'orsey." Lily said seriously seeing where Buck was pointing.

"But you need a bath," Jimmy laughed as he started to walk over to the trough. "Do you know Teaspoon takes his baths in there?"

"Lily not," she said as quick as can be.

Jimmy started to tickle her making her giggle hysterically. "Your right, Lily will not be taking a bath in there." Jimmy told her as he straightened her up.

"Yeah because he's scared of Lily's Mama," Buck laughed.

Lily frowned at Buck before looking at Jimmy, all giggles gone. "Mama not scary, she not da monster, she not hurt your arm."

Both Buck and Jimmy's face drained of all colour, as cold prickled up their spines.

It was the first time they had heard Lily even say anything about what had happened all those months ago.

"I'm sorry Lily you're right." Buck was the first to recover. "Your Mama would never hurt anyone."

"She 'tis good." Lily agreed.

"That she is." Buck smiled. " .You." he told her poking her tummy with every word." Lily giggled and held her arms out to Buck.

"Are you going to help me fill Teaspoon's bath?" Buck asked Lily as he took her from Jimmy.

"Cans he have bubbles?"

"No, bubbles are for pretty people only."

"Like me."

"Yes Lily, like you." Buck looked at Jimmy to see he was still dealing with what Lily had said.

"Jimmy, Lily and I are going to feed the horses. How bout you go and see if Lou wants to make a special bubble bath for a pretty girl."

"Meme not listening." She giggled in Bucks ear.

"I am Lily. I think a bubble bath sounds good." Jimmy leant in and kissed the wee girl on her forehead. "See you soon."

.

.

.

Jimmy watched Buck and Lily disappear into the barn. He couldn't believe Lily had said what she did. He wasn't ready for that and he wasn't ready for the memories that came to his mind from that day.

"Jimmy have you seen Lily?" Rachel called out from the main house. "Cody said she was with you."

"She's helping Buck in the barn. Did you need her?"

"No. Just wanted to know where she was." Rachel smiled.

Jimmy made his way over to Rachel. "How's Tiffany doing?"

"Her arms are pretty bruised up." Rachel seethed, "And she's cried herself to exhaustion. But Cody being back has helped."

"Did Lily see Emmett grabbing Tiffany by the arms?"

"I-uh-I don't know. Why?"

"Just something she said." Jimmy muttered. "Where's Lou?"

"She's doing some vegetables for supper in here. Did you need her?"

Jimmy nodded as he walked up the steps of the main house. "I'll come and see her."

He sat of the porch chair and unlaced his boots before pulling them free from his feet. "God that feels good," He sighed to himself.

The weather was meant to be cooling down some, as they headed into autumn, but they seemed to be having some sort of heat wave. His feet felt twice the size as they usually did.

Heading into the house and straight for the kitchen, Jimmy stopped in the door way and watched as Lou peeled some vegetables with a small knife.

"I told Lily she could have a bubble bath," He started, "I hope that's alright."

"Of course it is Jimmy." Lou smiled up at him, "Is she ready now?"

"No, she's helping Buck feed out."

"I'm nearly done here and then I'll boil some water."

Walking further into the kitchen Jimmy picked up a piece of peeled carrot. "Do you think Lily remembers that day when Andrew…"

Jimmy stopped when he heard the knife clatter on the floor.

"Sorry." Lou bent down and picked the knife up, shaking her head as she did so. "I would say she does. I mean it wasn't that long ago and it was pretty traumatic for her." Lou wiped the knife before she started with the last potato. She was trying to make it seem that this conversation wasn't upsetting for her.

"Why do you ask?"

Jimmy knew that Lou was trying to be alright with this talk, but he could see her chest rise and fall quickly as her breathing became rushed. But despite that he continued. He wanted to be able to talk to her about it, and he hoped that she would realise that she could talk to him about it also.

"She said something before and it shocked me is all. I didn't think she would remember that day. I wish she didn't remember." Lou sighed aloud at Jimmy's comment.

"Jimmy I know how you're feeling, trust me I know. But just because she is young it doesn't mean she doesn't remember certain things from the past. It was only a few months back."

"I know, but…hell," Jimmy threw his hands up in frustration. "I didn't think she would. And I don't know how I can stop you both from ever remembering anything about him."

Placing the knife down and putting the last potato with the rest, Lou walked over to him and wrapped her arms around his torso, "You can't." She told him simply. "In time Lily may forget but if she doesn't it will surely be just a distant bad memory for her. She won't remember the finer details. But I will never forget Jimmy." She told him with certainty.

"He will always be in the back of my mind no matter how many years pass. But at the same time, I can honestly say there are moments during the day where he isn't there. When I'm with you and Lily it makes me happy and I forget him for a while. It may not seem it but those moments are happening more often than not."

"It hurts something fierce when I can see you struggling with your memories, or when you talk about what happened. To have Lily bring him up, hit me hard."

"What did she say?"

"Buck and I were joking around and Buck made a comment about me being scared of you." Lou snorted out a laugh, which caused Jimmy to stop and smile, "Lily turned all serious and told us that you weren't a monster and you wouldn't hurt my arm." Jimmy's smile fell as he remembered her small face as she told him this.

Lou couldn't deny that her chest tightened upon hearing that. Lily was far too young to have to have that on her mind. But at the same time she was sure that the memory will fade for her daughter.

Lou squeezed Jimmy tighter in her arms, "She's ok Jimmy. I think I should have talked to her about what happened. I don't know why I didn't," Lou muttered that last part more to herself. "Do you think it's too late to bring it up now?" She asked Jimmy.

"I don't know Lou. I truly don't." Jimmy admitted, "I don't like the idea of bringing that monster up at all. Your right, _we_, and I stress the _'we'_ Lou, should have sat down with her when it happened. I think if we do bring it all back up now it could do more damage than good."

Lou smiled into Jimmy's chest. She loved him, she loved that he loved Lily.

"How bout I boil the water for Lily's bath while you finish up in here." Jimmy suggested, leaning down to kiss the top of her head. "I'll meet you in the bunkhouse."

"I have a better Idea," Lou smiled, "How about you make that bath big enough for Lily and me."

"I'll see what I can do." Jimmy teased before leaning down and placing his lips to hers.

Lou placed a small hand on Jimmy's cheek as she kissed him back. She couldn't deny that touching him and wanting to be with him, was getting stronger every day.

Pulling back with a smug grin on his face he smiled brightly before heading off to pour his girls a bath.

* * *

><p>Teaspoon headed into town instead of going back to the farm with Cody and Jimmy.<p>

There were a few loose ends to tie up at the Sheriff's office. And he also liked to go and check the town at least a couple of times a day. Though a small part inside of him, and a very small part it was, wanted to deny any of the town folk any help if they were in trouble.

This whole business with the Harrington's rattled him. He would have thought that he and his boys belonged to this town just like the other folks did.

After all these years, was it ludicrous to think that he and the boys deserved the same level of station as the Harrington's?

It saddened him and Rachel both when they learnt of the whole town shunning the family. None of them deserved that.

Making sure his papers were all placed in his desk, and his gun cabinet closed and locked, with his keys in his hiding place, Teaspoon heard the sound of heavy boots scuff across the hard wooden floors.

Rolling his eyes to himself he dreaded turning around to see who and what he was about to face.

His mind was not in the right place to help anyone of this town. Not after the way his family had been treated.

As soon as that thought entered his head, a stab of guilt pierced his gut.

Deep down, no matter how he felt, he would always want to help those whom were in need.

So with a deep breath and a fake smile he spun round to greet his visitor.

"How can I…" His eyes narrowed as he took in the once innocent eyes of a boy, who not only bought mischief into their lives, but happiness to.

It had been seven, nearly eight years since he had laid his eyes upon the boy.

Of course he read about him, heard about him and even dreamt about him, but none of that compared to having him stand there in person.

"Jessie?" He uttered not quite believing.

"Hi Teaspoon." Jessie smiled sheepishly.


	13. Chapter 13

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings etc are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owner's, creators or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. **

***Warning Rated M for Bad language & Violence.**

* * *

><p>"What are you doing here son?" Teaspoon tried to keep the sharp tone from his voice, but after the last few days he'd had, it was proving too hard.<p>

"Was riding through, thought I would see how you're all doing."

"Just you here?" Teaspoon narrowed his eyes at the boy, "Or your gang with you as well?"

"Don't start." Jessie warned. "I didn't come here to get into it with you. I came just to say hello, maybe spend a few nights. Let's just keep everything else off of the table."

"Maybe I should place my badge in the drawer then. That way I won't feel like I should be putting you behind bars."

"Maybe you should."

Both Teaspoon and Jessie just stared at each other, their eyes narrowed and their posture stiff.

Both men wanting to be excited to see the other, but both thinking maybe too much time had passed for that to happen.

Teaspoon couldn't help but feel happy to see the boy, no matter what he had done the last few years. He would always have a soft spot for the troubled boy.

But he would also feel guilt.

Teaspoon feels as if he let Jessie down all those years ago. The time was messy back then, with Kid and Lou's wedding, Noah dying, Jimmy's friend Rosemary, and of course the war.

Teaspoon took his eye off of the boy for what felt like a brief moment, and Frank came in and swooped him away.

Teaspoon sighed as he took his badge off. If he and Jessie were going to talk he couldn't do that in good conscience wearing the damn thing.

"Well it looks like you've been looking after yourself at least." Teaspoon smiled lightly.

"Yeah we do alright." Jessie laughed, "How bought we walk over to the old station. Is Rachel still there?"

Teaspoon laughed as he stepped closer to Jesse.

"We have a lot to catch up on son. For starters you're going to need your horse. We don't live at the station anymore."

"Alright." Jessie seemed sceptical. He hoped the old man wasn't going to try nothing. Last thing he needed was to end up in a cell.

On the way out to the new farm Teaspoon filled Jessie on as much as he felt like sharing. Which in the great scheme of things, wasn't much.

He told the boy about Kid dying and that Lou was with them. He did not mention Lily, or any of the traumatic ordeal Lou had suffered.

He told Jessie about Tiffany and Cody. He did not say they were married or expecting their first child. Nor did he feel the need to delve into the chaos that is Tiffany's family.

He said that Buck was still about, but did not tell him that he too wore a badge. Though Teaspoon was certain Buck wouldn't be taking his off anytime soon no matter what company they had.

Teaspoon mentioned that Buck and Jenny were close, which caused Jessie to laugh.

"Didn't that old bastard Tompkins hate Bucks red ass?"

Teaspoon didn't laugh with the boy, he just shook his head, muttering under his breath that maybe it was a bad idea to be bring Jessie out to the farm.

Teaspoon and Jessie rode straight up to the barn so they could take care of the horses before going to see the rest of the family.

"Teaspoon, Teaspoon," The happy soft sound of Lily, shouted out through the barn.

Teaspoon spun around seeing her running up to him. He gave her the same big smile she was giving him, and held his arms out for her.

She jumped into them and wrapped her arms around his neck. Teaspoon whispered in her ear that he had missed her, and asked if she had been a good girl.

Lily nodded her wee head yes, before slipping down and out of his arms. She wanted to see the horses, but she stopped when her small eyes found Jessie's.

"And who do you belong to little girl?" Jessie asked as he bent down to her size.

Lily looked up at Teaspoon looking slightly worried. Teaspoon couldn't help notice how much she looked like her mother in that moment. He hated that both she and Lou worried about every single person they meet.

"It's alright Lily. This is Jessie. He knows your Mama." Teaspoon assured him.

"Does you know Meme?" Lily asked Jessie.

"I don't think I do Lily. Is that your Pa?"

Lily scrunched her nose up as her eyebrows pulled down in a frown. Jessie laughed at her because she was the cutest thing he had ever seen.

Teaspoon cleared his throat, "Meme, is Jimmy, and he is not the girl's Father." Teaspoon clarified.

Jessie stood tall to look Teaspoon in the eye. "Jimmy's here?" Jessie would never admit it, but Jimmy always scared him a little. The thought of him being there made Jessie a little uneasy.

"He is," Teaspoon confirmed, "We should head to the house." Teaspoon bent down and picked Lily up. "Does your Mama know where you are Lily?"

Lily shook her head no. "I was seeing Meme's 'orse."

"LILY!" Lou's voice screamed out.

"Oh lordy are you in trouble." Teaspoon kissed Lily's head. "I have her Lou." Teaspoon yelled back.

"Louise is her Mother?" Jessie asked shocked. "Who's the Pa?"

But before Teaspoon could say a thing Lou came storming up to them. "You young lady are in…" Lou stopped short when she saw Teaspoon wasn't alone. "Tea…" She begun but chanced a look at the stranger, "Jessie?"

"Hi Lou."

Louise flung herself at the boy, who in return wrapped his arms around her.

"It's good to see you Lou," Jessie whispered in her ear as he swung her around.

"You too Jessie."

"Jessie?" Rachel asked shocked.

Jessie let go of Lou to wrap Rachel up in hug.

Teaspoon watched as the two woman gushed over Jessie like he was the young boy who had joined them all those years ago. He could see on their faces that they still cared about him, no matter the rumours and the stories they had all heard in regards to Jessie James and Frank James. To them it just didn't matter.

"Oh Jessie it's so good to see you." Rachel gushed, "Believe it or not we have missed you." She squeezed his arm, before linking hers in his.

"Believe it or not, I may have missed you too." Jessie joked allowing Rachel to lead him toward the house.

"Well you have some nerve." Jimmy hissed from the porch causing Rachel and Jessie to stop.

"Hello Jimmy,"

"What are you doing here?"

"Riding through, thought I would drop in and say hello."

"Where's that gang of yours? Are they calling in too?"

"Just me." Jessie promised, never taking his eyes off of Jimmy's.

"Better stay that way." Jimmy warned as he stepped aside allowing Rachel room to lead Jessie into the main house.

"Play nice boys," Rachel whispered loud enough for the two of them to hear.

Jimmy scoffed but offered no promises. Jesse meant trouble. Always had, always will.

He raised his eyes to meet Teaspoon, letting him know silently that he was not alright with this. Their small family didn't need any more drama and heart ache.

"I know Jimmy, but just let it be." Teaspoon pleaded, "Just for tonight."

"Well if it isn't the notorious Jesse James," Cody smirked, "I would have thought with all the money you've stolen over the last year, you'd be dressed a little better."

"Allegedly stolen," Jesse smirked back

"Is that so?" Buck interrupted from behind the boy.

Jesse turned to Buck, his eyes widening at the badge pinned to Buck's chest.

"Yeah it is." Jesse lifted his chin, "You can't prove otherwise."

"Never said I wanted to." The corners of Bucks lips twitched with a smile.

"Now that's all out of the way how about we sit and have a meal like a normal family." Rachel suggested, "I will set another plate for Jesse. Cody how about you go and get Tiffany. She needs to eat."

"Is she ill?" Teaspoon asked, not knowing what had gone down at the small family earlier today.

Buck filled Teaspoon in on the Harrington's visit. Jesse listened in carefully, trying to gage what his old family were going through.

He didn't like the sound of the Harrington's. It actually surprised him that Jimmy and the rest of them were allowing Tiffany's family to walk all over them.

Cody walked in with a tired Tiffany on his arm. Jesse wanted to smile and seem happy to meet her, but a part of him was angered by the fact that she was even there.

"Tiffany this is Jesse," Cody smiled down at his wife, "Jesse came to live with us when he was just a boy," Cody looked Jesse up and down, "Well he's still a boy…" he teased.

"Cody stop it," Tiffany poked his side with her finger, "Hi Jesse, I'm Tiffany." Cody wrapped his arms around his wife. He couldn't believe how amazing she was. After the day she had, had and her being unwell with the pregnancy, he would have thought company would be the last thing she wanted.

But here she was smiling and being polite, like nothing had happened.

"Tiffany," Jesse nodded. That was about as much politeness he could muster for this woman at the moment. He didn't understand the way he was feeling towards a woman he didn't know.

But for the rest of the evening he laughed, listened and talked to a family he missed something fierce.

Yes he had been the one to leave them all those years ago but he would lay awake countless nights thinking about them all. He truly believed that he would never see them again. He was thankful for the little blonde girl who had captured Franks heart the next town over.

It gave him a great excuse to visit, and didn't have to worry about Frank being with him to cause trouble.

After supper Lou and Lily disappeared to the bunkhouse saying their goodnights, and letting Jesse know that she would make the spare bed up in the bunkhouse for him.

After a kiss on Cody's lip's Tiffany said her goodnights as well and followed Lou and Lily out the door.

Rachel thinking it best to let the men talk slipped out of the room to. But not before standing back and admiring the still full room.

She loved having her boys all in one place.

.

.

.

"So how exactly are you going to make this work?" Jessie laughed, "I mean you have nothing, nothing…" Jesse commented after hearing that they couldn't even secure cattle.

And it just confirmed his suspicions of Cody's new bride. She had bought this trouble to his family. If it wasn't for her parents…He had to calm himself before he said or did something stupid.

"Would you keep your voice down." Jimmy warned, "They know it's bad, but not this bad." Jimmy whispered.

"You can't keep this from them."

"We can for now." Cody told him. He really didn't want Tiffany to have the stress of knowing this too.

Jesse looked to Cody, he knew that he loved this girl, but was she really worth the trouble. Send her back to her folks, let them have her.

He could see the stress in Cody's eyes, in fact he could see that the stress was taking its toll on all the boys.

"I'll watch over them." Jessie told them. "I will stay here and watch over the girls, the farm, while you go on a cattle run." He knew that it was a hard sell, as he hadn't really proved his worth to them, but surely they knew that he was no longer the young boy they remembered. He was a man, a man who would protect those girls to his last breath.

"I don't know…" Cody begun,

"Look I know you don't trust me," Jessie begun but stopped while Jimmy scoffed, "But surely you must know that Rachel and Lou mean the world to me. I would not let anyone or anything harm them." He looked them all in the eye, one after the other.

The boys couldn't argue with that, but would the boy be around long enough.

"It would mean you were bound here for a good week or so." Cody told him.

"I have no place I need to be for the moment. And if something comes up I will put it off for a couple of days until you get back."

Buck, Cody, Jimmy and Teaspoon all looked to one another. "If you are going to do this you have to know the whole story." Teaspoon told Jessie keeping his eyes on Jimmy.

Jimmy gave him a nod before leaving the room. He didn't need to hear it again, it just angered him.

.

.

.

Jimmy made his way over to the bunkhouse knowing Lou was putting Lily to bed.

A part of him wanted nothing more than to steal his two girls, and hide them from the rest of the world.

That way they would be safe, but they would be lonely.

Lou had hidden herself away for too long already. It has taken her awhile to feel comfortable in her own skin. He would not take Rachel and the others from her ever again. He would not make the same selfish mistake the Kid had.

.

.

"Meme my Pa?"

"Where did you hear that Lily?" Lou asked, panicked. Had Jimmy told her that?

Lou didn't know how to feel about that if he had.

"'essie says he is."

Lou was at loss for words. She did not know how to handle this conversation.

If she said yes, that wasn't fare on the Kid. Not only that when Lily is old enough to understand, Lou didn't want to tell her that her whole life was a lie.

But then on the other hand Jimmy was and will be the only Pa she would know.

"I'm not your real Pa Lily," Jimmy interrupted Lou's inner rambling. "But I promise you that I will be here for you like your real one would want me to be."

Jimmy knew that Lily had no idea what he was saying or promising, he said it more for Lou than her.

He wanted Lou to know that it was alright if Lily knew about Kid, hell he wanted her to know who her father was, but at the same time he wanted Lou and Lily to look at him like a husband and a Pa too.

"Tis ok Meme," Lily yawned before slipping her thumb in her mouth and allowing her eyes to droop shut.

Jimmy smiled down at her, she was truly amazing.

"I'm so sorry Jimmy." Lou cried, "I just froze when she asked me that."

"You know that I want that with you and her, don't you? I want to be her Pa and I want nothing more than for you to be my wife."

Lou cried harder as she took in his words. "I know you do, but I just don't know how or why." She cried, "I get you wanting that for Lily…but…me? I…" Lou was once again at a loss of what to say. She knew what she wanted to say, but she didn't want to just blurt it out.

"Talk to me. Tell me what you're scared of Lou,"

"I'm not scared. I just don't know how to progress."

"I don't understand."

"You say you want to be my husband," Lou whispered, suddenly feeling stupid, "I just…we don't…lye together like husband and wives do." Lou felt her cheeks redden as embarrassment raced through her.

"Believe me Lou I want that more than anything." Jimmy smiled, "Do you know how hard it's been having you in my arms night after night. My arms around you, you against my chest, your legs tangled with mine." He slowly walked up to her, "Your bottom pressed against…me." He placed his hands on either side of her face making her look at him.

"I want you like that Lou. I want you, but you have to want me like that before I make a move." He leant down and kissed her mouth hard. He put all the passion and lust he was feeling in that moment into his kiss.

Lou moaned as she kissed him back with as much passion. She wanted it all with him. She really did.

Forcing her mouth from his she breathlessly whispered, "I do want you like that. I want you to make love to me." She said with more confidence.

Jimmy captured her mouth with his again. He would give her what she wanted, what they both needed, but it wouldn't be on this night. Not with Lily in the same room and not with everything else that they needed to discuss.

Pulling his mouth from hers he held her at arms-length. "Lou you have no idea, what those words do to me." He shook his head and smiled. "I want the same thing you do." Lou smiled up at him, "And as much as I cannot believe I'm saying this, I cannot give you that tonight."

Lou's smile faulted, "W-why?"

"There is a lot to talk about, and it's not going to put us in the mood for anything else." He groaned, "And when the time comes, I think it would be best if Lily wasn't asleep in the same room."

Jimmy almost laughed when he saw the look on Lou's face. It was almost like she had forgotten her daughter was even here.

"Now that we are on the same page Lou, it will happen, because we both want it to."

"I do Jimmy, I truly do." Lou promised.


End file.
